Something's Got to Give

Are the parties ready in the matter of Ellen Wagstaff Arden?

-The matter of Ellen Arden! -Present.

Good morning, sir. lt's...

-Wasn't l supposed to marry somebody? -Yes, sir.

Let's do it. This can wait. This Arden case looks complicated.

But, Your Honor, the Arden case...

Yes, l know. lt's a very complicated case. lt can wait.

What? What? Who's dead?

-Oh, that's very sad. -lf Your Honor, please...

Are you Arden? -Yes, sir.

Just as l thought. Mr. Arden, as l understand it...

...your wife, Ellen, was aboard a yacht in a trans-Pacific yacht race...

-...when it was lost in a storm. -Yes, sir.

What's she doing in a yacht race, a mother of two infants?

You'll find the circumstances set forth in my brief, Your Honor.

Why did you let her go?

She loved sailing. They signed her on as official photographer...

-You didn't go with her? -l had a case.

We felt she needed a change. She had a tough time with the kids' teething.

Never mind. You're a lawyer. Stick to the facts.

-All there in my brief. -Let me read it. Stop interrupting.

Proof of loss?

On page seven, l believe. You're on page four.

l know it's four! Let's see...

Here it is, page seven.

''When last seen five years ago, a wave 25 feet high...''

Young woman, put that mirror away! Are you trying to blind me?

You ought to wash your face, not paint it.

Such a thing as contempt of court. Don't get me started on you.

-Now where was l? -Page seven.

Don't interrupt! Just don't interrupt me.

''The survivors agreed that the said Ellen Wagstaff Arden...''

''Was swept overboard before aid could reach her. Depositions appended.''

Quiet.

-l could explain everything. -There's nothing to explain.

The testimony is here, signed affidavits, no contrary evidence.

The law's very clear.

l hereby pronounce Ellen Arden legally dead.

-Wasn't l supposed to marry somebody? -Us.

What? -Yes.

-Already? -lt's been five years, sir.

Five seconds in the eyes of the law.

Your wife was not dead until l said she was dead.

You don't want more time to think it over?

No, sir.

Well...

-Rheumatism, sir? -Arthritis.

Sure it's not psychosomatic?

The price of carrying around those weighty decisions.

-Are you a doctor, madam? -No, but...

You want to spend 3 years in jail for practicing medicine without a license?

Sure you want to get married?

Yes, sir. We already have our plane reservations for Honolulu.

Marriage has always been an honorable estate, and under this estate...

-Bianca... -Nicholas, no need to explain.

l told you l understand.

You don't understand. Will you listen to me? lt's about Ellen.

-Not really. -Really, yes.

You just think it is.

-She's your mother surrogate. -My mother's what?

What you really needed in your first marriage...

...wasn't so much a mate, as a mother figure.

Not so much a wife, as a soft, warm bosom...

...for a little boy to rest his tired head on.

-Now, isn't that what Ellen was? -Well, part of her...

So you see, there's really no need to be ashamed.

lt's natural to be afraid of a relationship with a real woman.

-Oh, come on now... -Just don't lose faith in yourself.

That's all l ask. Because l won't.

LlTA: 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.

TlMMY : l'll beat you to the pool!

LlTA: 21, 22, 23, 24.

TlMMY : Here's the ball.

Yahoo!

TlMMY : How was that?

Go!

Hello.

TlMMY : Hello. LlTA: Hello.

My goodness, Tippy!

How fat! What have they been feeding you?

Silly old thing.

How does he know you?

l used to come here long ago. He remembers me.

He tries to bite everybody else.

Tip wouldn't bite me. Would you, Tip? Tip's my friend.

-Did you come here to see Mrs. Duncan? -Yes.

l'm an old friend of hers.

You don't remember me, do you?

-No. -l do.

Don't pay any attention to her. She's crazy. Are you staying long?

l don't know yet. Would you like me to?

-l don't know where you would sleep. -l don't know either. Yet.

But if it worked out, would you like me to stay?

-l would! -l wouldn't mind.

Oh! Timothy!

Come on.

-Oh, Timmy, you hurt yourself. -Let go of me!

Far away in the South Sea lslands...

...when a man doesn't want people to see him cry, know what he does?

-He has somebody cry for him. -That helps?

You'd be surprised. Can l cry for you?

-That's silly. -l'm good at it.

-l'm okay now. -Okay.

LlTA: l have a splinter in my foot! -All right, let's get it out!

-Ow! -You're faking!

-l knew you were. -lt hurts! lt hurts!

l used to come to see your mommy too.

She drowned.

-Do you think about her? TlMMY : Once a year.

LlTA: Once a year l do too. -Only once a year?

We take flowers to church on her birthday.

-You put flowers under the window? -Window?

Doesn't she have a stained-glass window?

Oh, that one. l think so. l forgot.

LlTA: Daddy said we're gonna get a new mommy.

-He does, really? LlTA: Bianca.

Do you like Bianca?

Can you swim?

-Timmy, come here. -Why?

l want to hug you.

-Me too! -You too! Both of you!

-You know what you two kids are? -What?

You're my two sweethearts.

My two best sweethearts in the whole world!

Hey, you little rascals!

Well, here we are! Home, sweet home!

Lita, Timmy, Daddy's home.

Did you order any carpentry work done, darling?

Maybe they're hitting each other over the head.

BlANCA: Hello, my darlings.

TlMMY : Hi, Daddy! LlTA: Hi, Daddy!

-ls that all you've got to say? -No presents?

-What are you two doing up there? -Building a tree house.

A tree house? Come down and say hello.

We can't. We have to finish before the rainy season.

Did the house spring a leak?

You don't understand. We're on the South Sea lslands.

lt's probably part of their schoolwork. You know, learn by living.

Which island are you on?

Just an island. One like Mrs. Tic lived on.

-Mrs. Tic? Ja.

Miss lngrid Tic.

T-l-C, Tic. ls Swedish name.

Mrs. Duncan give me position to care for children.

BlANCA: Nice meeting you. Shall we go in now?

Would you take these for me?

-Oh, no, l'll take these. -ls no trouble.

We've been waiting for you to return. Honeymoon is over?

lt's just begun.

Nicholas?

-Why is she talking like that for? -Grownups.

Nicholas!

Aren't you going to carry me over the threshold?

Such a strong man. Hm.

Ow!

Darling, be careful!

Dr. Schlick? Bianca Russell.

l mean, Bianca Arden.

Yes, it is a rather interesting slip.

l do hope you don't mind my calling late...

...but l just got back from my honeymoon.

And l just wanted to tell you how marvelous everything is!

Well, Nicholas does have a few little problems...

...but l'm dealing with everything very rationally.

Yes, l am quite proud of myself.

Thanks to you, Dr. Schlick.

Oh, no! Everything's fine.

Just fine.

-Put out the light, please, darling. -Bianca...

l love to hear you say my name.

Come here.

-Now where are you going? -l forgot to turn off the light.

-Oh, it's too dark. -l like it that way.

l have to tell you something.

-Not until you come to bed. -Now!

-l won't listen. -You gotta listen.

Not like that! Go in and change!

-Nicholas, what's the matter with you? -l don't feel so good.

Well, put on your pajamas and come to bed. l'll make you feel better.

Go on.

But come right back.

-You won't fall asleep? -l won't.

Dr. Schlick? Bianca Arden again.

Oh, no. No, everything's just fine.

Well, yes. That's exactly the way he is acting.

Well, yes, l do know it happens very often.

Well, yes, l've been very understanding.

Oh, just a minute.

Now, do what?

Well, l am calm.

Well, yes, l've tried that too.

That's a very good idea, Dr. Schlick.

Thank you, Dr. Schlick.

Ooh!

Ah!

Ellen! Get out of there!

Get back in.

Ooh!

Come on. The water's so refreshing.

You know, after you finish doing you know.