Rick and Morty

Come on, Rick. We're almost there.

Leave me, Morty. It's the only way.

Wha... Were... Wha... Were we...

Were we Blades in that one? That's fucking tight.

Just stay with me.

I'm... I'm scared, Morty. I can see the end.

I'm a silly man. I'm a silly, small man.

I'm... I'm sorry I got you into this.

Then how about I get us out of this?

- Hello? - Hey, Jessica.

It's Morty. From school.

Oh, hey, Morty. What's up?

Um, I just want to say that you're really great. I know the timing never really worked out,

but you're great, and I wish I got to know you better.

Oh. I mean. That's a lot.

Oh, uh, yeah, sorry. I guess I just...

No, I just wish you said it sooner.

- What? - Yeah, I mean, being nervous

- is sort of selfish sometimes, you know? - Yeah, that's a great point.

Well, what are you doing tonight?

- Tonight? - Yeah.

Do you want to watch a movie, or something?

Um, yeah. Tonight. Sounds great.

Holy shit. Holy shit.

Come on, come on!

Oh.

- Where are we? - We're home, Rick.

I landed us in the ocean.

The ocean? The ocean on Earth?

- Uh, yeah, I guess so. - Oh, shit.

Holy shit. We have to go. We have to go right fucking now.

- What? - You touched the ocean, Morty!

- What's the big...? - Oh, fuck. Shit.

- What? - Shit.

Richard! You have desecrated

the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea.

Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe,

Mr. Nimbus!

- Sorry. Who is that? - My nemesis.

- What? - My fucking nemesis, okay?

- Okay, but what was his name again? - I am Mr. Nimbus!

He's gonna say that a lot.

Wait, so who is coming over again?

- He said his nemesis. - Rick has a nemesis?

- I guess. - Has he mentioned him before?

I was gonna ask you. First I'm hearing it.

Who is he? Like, a magic guy?

Rick's science, and he's magic?

- He's, like, a fish? - A fish.

He's not a fish, he's Mr. Nimbus.

He's king of the ocean, and he's a piece of shit.

Are you happy, Morty? Are you happy you touched the ocean?

He's gonna be here any minute. Help me smooth this over,

or this guy's gonna be more trouble than he's worth.

Um, hey, I don't know how much I can help out tonight, Rick.

Jessica's coming over, just to, like, watch a movie or something,

but you know, that's a good step.

That's a solid step to something, you know?

Nobody cares about your dick, Morty. The sooner you learn that, the better.

You just don't want me happy because then I'll stop doing your crazy chores.

Trust me, after that ocean fuck-up, you don't get to do anything crazy.

While I bullshit my way through this peace summit treaty with Nimbus,

Summer is gonna dive into the Marianas Trench

to recover the forbidden shell that gives him his power,

because Summer can be trusted.

Let's lick tits.

- I don't love that. - Of course you don't.

You guys aren't getting any.

Actually, your father and I have been very sex-positive lately.

- Eww. - Dr. Wong suggested we experiment.

We've been watching pornography. Together.

- Gross! - I might never come back from the ocean.

Oh, you'll have to tone it down, babe.

The squares can't handle it.

There are suicide capsules in all of your teeth.

Do what you want with that. Morty, you're on booze duty.

Okay, Nimbus only drinks the good shit,

so just toss this whale-ass ocean wine in here

and age it up a few centuries.

So, time moves faster in there? It's like a Narnia thing?

I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty.

But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing.

- Okay, but Jessica... - All you have to do is bring wine.

- When do I ask you for anything? - When do you...?

I haven't been to a full week of school in years!

I don't know shit! And for what?

How many enemies do you have to have? Why is everything a fight with you?

You might want to learn this early, Morty.

- Life is a fight. - With Mr. Nimbus?

Are you making fun of me?

Mr. Nimbus is an ice-cold dick killer, Morty.

Okay, let's go. That's his magic ocean horn.

Is that Mr. Nimbus?

- Nimbus. - Richard.

You look like ass.

Let's get this over with.

I'm sorry. This is the guy?

- Jerry. - Hold on. No.

I've seen you fuck a planet, and this is the guy you're afraid of?

I like this one, Rick. He is unbroken. Untamed.

Perhaps he could use a firmer grip upon his leash.

Okay, that's enough. I'm calling the police.

- Go ahead. - Jerry.

- I will! - Good. I control them.

- Excuse me? - He controls police, Jerry.

Right, that tracks. In Dumb World.

Police? A strange horny ocean man is on my lawn.

Well, I don't see how that's relevant, but we're white.

Freeze!

Fight.

Fuck.

- Flee. - Let's get outta here.

- Shall we, Richard? - Okay, but how did he...

Jesus Christ, Jerry. He's Mr. Nimbus. He controls the police!

Um, hello? Am I in the right place?

I just saw a bunch of cops having sex with each other?

Hi! Jessica! Hi! Yeah, yup, you're in the right spot.

Uh, everyone, this is Jessica. This is everybody. Uh, this is...

- I am Mr. Nimbus. - Jesus, Nimbus, just get inside.

Morty, grab the wine.

Yeah, in a minute. Come on, Jessica.

Stand aside.

Unless you are worthy of Nimbus.

If that means what I think it means,

I'll have you know, we watch porn together.

- Oh! - Ooh!

Wow, okay! Looks like you guys just got the nod.

- The nod? - Mr. Nimbus has a sense for these things.

I take it you're a sex-positive couple?

- Oh, yeah. Very much so. - We watch porn together.

Great! I'll mark you down as eligible for a three-way.

Here's all the information you'll need.

The king of the ocean wants to have a threesome with us?

Totally optional, but a remarkable option to have, I assure you.

Very jealous. There's a form on the last page

so we know where to send the gift basket.

So, that just happened.

You don't sound upset about it.

Neither do you.

Oh, my God. Is this happening? To us?

I thought this only happened in New York or on HBO.

Dr. Wong hasn't been wrong yet.

You're right. This is exactly what she was talking about.

So, uh, yeah. Just make yourself comfortable.

You know, choose a movie, or...

Or we can watch some interdimensional cable if you want.

We now return to Nintendo 69.

Nintendo, oh, what are you doing to me?

Oh, Nintendo, oh, Nin...

Or we can watch whatever, you know. Whatever you're into.

Morty, did I hear you're getting wine?

Yeah, I gotta get some wine for Mr. Nimbus.

- Got any extra? - Oh. Uh, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, I'll go get some. - Cool.

- Just for you. - Hurry back.

Looks like you could use a hand.

Oh, hey! Yeah, that'd be great.

- No problem. - Hoovy? Dinner's ready!

Be right there, sugar hoof!

Just helping this young man through a portal

with that crate full of alcohol that's been here for decades.

Hey, thanks, Hoovy. I really appreciate that.

I got a girl over, and I really, really like her.

- I'm just nervous. - Oh, I know that feeling.

When I first started seeing Bova,

I could only think about all the ways I was gonna mess it up.

- So, what'd you do? - Oh, I messed it up.

But I found the one who loves me for that.

Thanks. I really needed to hear that.

- Here, take one of these. - Oh, you don't have to.

No, I want to. You have a good day, Hoovy.

You have a great time with that lady up there.

- Just relax. - Will do!

Bova?

Why did you leave us, Father?

Japheth? When were you born?

I swore to Mother, if I ever met you, I'd avenge her.

It wasn't my fault.

Whose, then? Whose?

The boy from the magic door.

Shall we discuss terms?

Yeah, fine. Whatever. Terms.

Term number one, I am King of the Ocean.

The place I shit? Go ahead.

Term number two, stop shitting in the ocean.

No idea... what you're talking about.

Delicious. Another.

Oh, uh, well, I was thinking of using this one for...

Morty, just give him the bottle. God damn.

- Another! - Morty, you get the wine?

Hey, Jessica. Um, yeah, sorry.

I just... Just going back to get it.

Oh. I thought you already went.

I did! I just... Just got a little busy.

Going right now, again! You go ahead and fire up that movie!

That's okay. I'll wait for you.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!

I've been waiting for you.

Oh, wow. Hoovy, right?

Never say his name!