Sacrilege

Oh my God.

Do you think we could avoid responsibility

somewhere besides a junk yard sale?

Yes.

We could drop out, have the pizza delivered to Samantha,

and we could keep driving until we find paradise.

I don't need paradise, okay.

I studied.

Studying.

You always take the easy way out.

Hmm, I'm sorry if I passed on the 15 hour cramming session

followed by whatever pact with the devil you plan to make

to get a C or D.

Okay, mister, Cs and Ds will grant this girl...

- ...a degree. - Uh-huh.

So, what's it going to be?

Paradise or yard sale?

Or both.

Please say both.

Let's just get this over with, okay?

Wonderful, shitty hand-me-downs.

Wow, this is great, Jess.

You really outdid yourself.

Where you see shitty hand-me-downs,

I see unwanted treasures.

Besides, Sam's birthday's coming up.

And you look for a gift at a yard sale?

Classy broad.

Poor college student, remember.

What do you think of this.

No.

I don't know.

Rancho photography's kind of cool.

I gotta take this, this is work.

Hey, please don't take forever, all right.

We gotta study.

You must study 'til you die.

Make you a good deal on that.

Brought it on a couple of family vacations.

It always took nice pictures.

Uh, thanks,

but I don't think snapping Polaroids

is really my friend's thing, so.

Oh, so you're looking for a gift, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

I think I might have something for you.

I've been going back and forth

on whether or not I wanted the part with this.

This is perfect.

My wife, she always thought the world of that little box.

I bet.

So?

How much?

Um, I don't know.

Five bucks sound fair?

Very.

Look, I'm sure it's found a good home.

Mm-hmm.

Let me know if you need a price on anything else here.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Should be fun.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

And you chose that?

Uh yeah, it's amazing.

Congratulations, you bought something.

So can we go now?

Some of us have papers to write.

I think I have a paper to write.

Yep.

I was talking about you.

I think I'm done.

Done?

With what?

Accounting.

School, life, et cetera, et cetera.

Simple solution, change your major.

I'm scared to do something impractical with my life.

Or scared to do something your dad might not pay for.

I'll get you through it.

I promise.

Oh, hold on.

And don't let her see it.

Wouldn't dare.

It's about time.

I thought you guys left me for dead.

Blame your BFF.

And I do.

Just leave the pizza on the table, traitor.

And my work here is done.

Let me guess, paradise again?

You know, you really do this to yourself.

All you have to do is study.

I don't know what it is about intermediate

that makes me so hungry.

So, you finished the chapter?

Answered the questions?

Of course I did.

A couple minutes ago.

Mind if I take a peak?

Or two?

What do you think?

Personally?

I think the paper might be worth more than the box.

Shoulda got a gift card or something.

Oh, or some crappy camera?

You are aware that phones have cameras now, aren't you?

You do know that phones don't magically develop photos

before my eyes, right?

You know, break's coming up.

What do you say we hit the coast?

A little sun might look good on you.

I can think of something else that might look good on me.

We don't have to go anywhere for that.

Is this your way of getting what you want?

Depends.

Is it working?

Doesn't it always?

Come on.

Oh yeah.

Uh-huh, right.

And you got the cake mix?

All right, love, see you soon.

Bye.

Hey, wanna give me a hand?

It was awful.

Made with love.

And sugar.

Mostly sugar, I hope.

Make a wish.

All right, all right, ya'll take a slice.

I'm already five pounds into my freshman 15,

so help a girl out.

So, um, did you guys get me anything else?

Mm-hmm.

And happy birthday.

Thank you, you guys.

It's a pony.

Open it.

All right.

You guys.

You like it?

I love it.

See?

Yes, I do have eyes.

It reminds me of something my mom would have

in her living room.

All right, so, cake, check.

Presents, check.

What do you all say we get the hell out of here

and go a little crazy.

Or how about the giant bug marathon on TV tonight?

No.

All right, fine.

Let's go to the club.

Hey mom.

It's me.

I'm sorry I missed you earlier, I was in class.

Anyway, the box I sent you,

Jess gave that to me for my birthday.

And anyway, it made me think of home.

But I love you, and I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

No.

- Mm-hmm. - No.

Yes.

Cheers.

The next one will taste better.

That's disgusting.

Jessica, did you remember to pay the cable bill?

Yes.

Did you check to make sure everything is plugged in right?

Everything's plugged in.

Fine, I'll double check from my phone

when we're on the road.

You know, I might call that guy

that I met the other night at the bar.

Tall, dark, and all over you.

I am so glad you are finally gettin' in touch

with your inner goddess.

All right, well, call me if you need me.

Okay, will do.

Yeah.

Hey.

You know, all this stuff you're avoiding,

it's gonna catch up with you.

That's future Jess's problem.

You try and have some fun, okay?

Okay.

* I'm gonna make this grilled cheese *

* I'm gonna make this grilled cheese, please *

Damn it, Jess.

Hello?

Oh.

Oh, hey.

Yeah, a movie sounds great.

I'll see you later.

Okay, bye.