Silicon Valley

What are we talking about here?

You want us to launch a cryptocurrency?

You wanted an alternative to Laurie Bream?

Pied Piper Coin.

Mm.

I promised Richard that we would never

make him harvest data or sell ads.

I am not saying that we will force their hand on this issue,

but neither am I saying definitively that we will not.

Have you received my proposal?

Very promising.

Look, Monica, I will do the ICO, but only if you do it with me.

Pied Piper Coin is totally gonna work.

Yes! Totally is.

- (BUZZING) Whose idea was this again?

Okay, everybody.

Let's do this.

Photo time. Let's go.

Front-enders, come on in. Where's my back-enders?

I see you, crypto-geeks.

Follow me! (chuckles)

Old Pipey thing.

Holden. Are we set?

Sorry. I haven't used this camera before.

Are we set?

Yes, Jared.

Look... uh, look, guys.

I-I know we didn't have the budget we wanted to get here.

But, we are here.

Finally, all our hard work has paid off.

So now, the world's first, totally decentralized internet

will be live... in five...

Crowd joining in: Four,

three, two, one.

Yeah!

Dinesh: Richard. Richard!

Richard.

You have to see this.

What's wrong now?

A good thing. (chuckles)

A good thing has finally happened.

Don't fuck with me.

I am not fucking with you!

Come, come.

Look.

Look at the user numbers.

Wait, holy shit. Is that right?

I think we've reached the inflection point.

We made it.

Don't, just... don't. Yeah.

Richard: Well, I think this calls for a little celebration.

I just knew that if we kept plugging away,

eventually, we'd get some traction

and reach an inflection point.

What did I keep saying?

Give us time and then we'll climb, bitches!

Richard: Yes, Holden.

That's right, except for the bitches part, but yes.

And now, we are gaining almost 12,000 users an hour!

Fuck, yeah!

You get a high five and you get a high five!

Fuck yeah! I wanna give a quick shout-out

to my seven developers,

my Septapipers,

who stuck with us through thick and thin,

unlike K-Hole,

which took their game and totally bailed on us.

Lock them up! Lock them up!

Jesus, Jared. You really did a number on that kid.

God. Yeah.

I just chipped away everything that wasn't Richard's assistant

and this is what's left.

Lock them up!

So, how are things advancing?

To date,

we have manufactured almost 400,000 mobile devices.

And we are signing them all onto the Pied Piper network?

Yes.

Well, we have to do it manually.

It is slow.

But it provides an advantage.

They may not know what we are doing

until it's too late for them to stop us.

Indeed.

Yeah. To be honest,

at times, I find it difficult to tell what you're thinking.

Mmm, I see.

Monica: Pappy Van Winkle?

I'm not gonna have to start

locking my desk drawer now, am I?

Hey, does this seem odd to you?

What?

So, our user numbers have been growing for days,

but our coin value is flat.

It hasn't budged at all.

I thought the two would be correlated,

at least a little bit.

Yeah. Should be.

Sorry, I don't mean to rain on the parade.

I find parades to be

impotent displays of authoritarianism.

Whose bag is this?

Uh... oh. Scoot over.

Colin?

Hey, man. What are you doing here?

I like the beard. You throwing a party?

Yeah. Something that you and K-Hole Games could've been a part of,

had you not walked out on us.

Oh, come on, man. Laurie was our VC.

She's the one that made me pull the game and bail on you guys.

So you just do whatever Laurie says, huh?

Well, she had control of my board. Hmm.

Which is exactly how she just managed to fire me.

You lost your company?

Aw. Bummer.

But, the cool part is, I'm free.

Which is why I'm here.

I have been cooking up a solo project on the side

for a few years.

It's a killer new game.

And I was thinking maybe,

we would launch it on your network.

It's a sweet indie RPG.

I'm calling it "The Gates of Galloo."

I have a ton of presales.

If we put this thing on Pipernet, bam.

You're gonna have 80,000 instant users.

What do you say? You and K-Hole pull your game.

A game that was the central element

to our launch strategy.

And then literally days after everything starts to fucking come together,

you stroll on in here and act like nothing ever happened?

Stroll?

I just walked in here normally.

Besides, this would help you out too, right?

You... you wanna help me out?

You just lost your company.

I'm in there celebrating,

with my fucking victory.

Dude.

Can I be real with you?

I really need this.

Can I be realer?

Kiss my piss.

What?

You heard me. Kiss my piss.

I was hoping you'd be cool about this.

Oh, really? You thought I might be cool, Mr. Backwards Hat?

Is this cool, huh?

To do this, maybe?

I don't know.

Kiss my piss.

Kiss...

my piss.

All right, I get it.

Kiss my piss.

I'll see you around, Richard.

Karma's a bitch, Colin.

Oh! Monica, hey.

Hey. Hey, I was just coming in early to clean up

for the custodial staff.

When did you get here?

We never left. We?

All right. Good to go.

You were both here all night?

Our coin price wasn't growing with our user numbers,

so we coded a diagnostic tool to go through the ledger

and figure out exactly where our users are coming from.

Yes. We coded it.

You're smoking my cigarettes, asshole.

In a public workspace, in the state of California, no less.

Shall we?

This breaks our users down

by which developers signed them on.

So, each bar is one of our seven Septopipers.

Wait, why are there eight bars?

Who... who's that? No idea.

But whoever it is, they are the reason for most of our new user growth.

Wait, so some non-piper out there is signing up

users to our network en masse?

How'd they get access to our system?

Without a key from us,

the only way in is to steal our software.

But no one has stolen our software.

Except for...

Oh, shit.

Hello?

Hey, Jian-Yang. It's Big Head.

How's it going, man?

He's been in contact

with Jian-Yang this whole time?

Yeah, they play Words with Friends.

Cool, cool. Listen, Gilfoyle wants to ask you a question.

No. I don't want to talk to Gilfoyle.

He's a racist and a witch.

I'm not a witch. Now spit out the kimchi

and tell me what the fuck is going on with our network.

Fuck you. I'll tell you nothing.

Okay. I'll tell you everything.

But I want to move back into the house.