Galaxy Quest

- Exiting time knot now, sir. - We're alive.

We made it, Commander. We made it.

By Grabthar's hammer, we live to tell the tale.

Systems register functional.

All systems are working, Commander.

I don't like it. It was too easy.

Wait! Oh, no. They're everywhere!

There are time knots opening everywhere!

- A trap! - We're surrounded, Commander.

It's a core meltdown, sir. It can't be stopped.

Surrender may be our only option.

No! Never give up! Never surrender!

Your orders, sir?

Sir? Your orders?

Activate the Omega 13.

Well?

Well, there you are. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

You are the first people to see

the lost Galaxy Quest episode 92 two-parter

since it was originally aired in 1982!

Yeah! All right.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

The intrepid crew of the NSEA Protector! Yeah!

Red scarf, black shoes. Wait.

White scarf, black buttons, white shoes…

Man, where the hell is he? An hour and a half late?

- An hour and a half. - I mean, this is unreal.

They're gonna start eating each other out there.

Did you hear? He booked another appearance without us.

You're kidding!

- How did I come to this? - Not again.

- I played Richard the Third. - Five curtain calls.

There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once,

damn it, now look at me. Look at me!

I can't go out there, and I won't say that stupid line one more time!

- I can't, I won't. - Well, Alex, at least you had a part.

Okay? You had a character people loved.

I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my boobs

and how they fit into my suit.

No one even bothered to ask me what I do on the show.

You had the… Wait. Wait, I'll think of it.

I repeated the computer, Fred.

Your commander is on deck!

Wow, that smog is thick today, huh?

Am I too late for Alexander's panic attack?

Apparently not. You know, you should get that looked at. Yeah.

Let's take a look at a few more clips.

Okay. What did I do?

What?

- We want the crew! - For those four seasons,

we developed the same affection for the crew

as the crew had for each other.

I mean, these weren'tjust adventurers exploring space. These were friends.

- Unbelievable. - You are so full of it, man!

It's not a big deal. These guys put a little set in their basement.

I'm there about an hour.

It's nothing, Gwen. They wanted the Commander.

- There he goes. - Alexander, wait! Grab him! Grab him!

- We want the crew! - We want the crew!

Okay! Yeah! Here we go!

- Come on, old friend, old friend. - Friend?

You stole all my best lines, you cut me out of episode two entirely!

Tawny Madison, my personal favorite, Gwen DeMarco!

Yeah!

It's getting hotter, Commander.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

Let's hear a warm welcome for crack gunner Laredo, Tommy Webber!

- You will go out there! - I won't.

- And nothing you say will make me. - The show must go on.

Freddie Kwan!

Damn you.

Damn you. I won't say that stupid line one more time.

Tev'Meck, Alexander Dane!

Yeah! All right!

By Grabthar's hammer, you shall be avenged!

Yeah! All right!

That guy can act.

And finally, my fellow Questerians,

the brave commander of the NSEA Protector,

Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter…

Quincy, Quincy, Quincy, Quincy…

Taggart, Taggart, Taggart, Taggart…

Jason Nesmith!

Yeah! All right!

We love you, Commander!

- Never give up. - Never give up.

- Never surrender! - Never surrender!

- Damn the resonance cannons, - Damn the resonance cannons,

- full speed ahead! - full speed ahead!

The Commander and his crew will be signing autographs

on imperial decks C and B near the Coke machines.

Quest forever, man!

Excuse me, pardon me, crew member coming through.

- Fans, right? Hey, Gwen. - Hey, man.

I want to thank you for that nice intro you gave us today.

Guy. Probably don't remember me, do you? It's the sunglasses, right?

I was on the show in '82, episode 81.

Got killed by a lava monster before the first commercial.

Listen, maybe I could sit in and sign a couple of autographs?

By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Warvan, I shall avenge you!

By Grabthar's…

Next.

Had I moved an inch to the left, the beast would have killed me.

On the other hand, my crew was in danger.

How did you know what to do?

Come on! Without my crew, I'm not a commander, huh?

I think we all remember what happened to that beast on Enok Vll, right?

You've got to admit, they really do love him.

Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.

Excuse me, Commander. Hey!

I was wondering if you could help settle the dispute

that my crew and I seem to be having.

If you remember, in "Quasar Dilemma"…

Excuse me for a minute, fellas.

Hadn't even gotten to the relevant conundrum.

In episode 15, "Mist of Delos V,"

I got the feeling that you and the Commander kind of had a thing.

Did you?

No. The Commander and I never had a thing.

Well, that's her story.

Excuse me.

Gwen.

Gwen!

- Commander. - Excuse me.

I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme importance.

We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula

and we need your help.

Is this about that gig tomorrow?

Just hammer out the details with my agent,

and make sure there's a limo at my house.

Last time I did one of these gigs, they shoved me in the back of a Toyota.

Remember, mum's the word.

Certainly, but…

- Mum. - Mum.

Here, and beautiful!

Crewman Madison, the mist of this strange planet

is filling my head with such thoughts.

It was cute when I didn't know you.

What a freak show, man. This is hilarious.

Bunch of losers! Begging for autographs at 15 bucks a pop.

These guys haven't had a real acting job for 20 years. This is all they've got.

And did you check out Nesmith?

- He actually gets off on those retards… - Oh, yeah.

…thinking he's a space commander!

- And his friends… - I know, they can't stand him!

Did you hear them ragging on him in there?

Dude, he has no idea he's a laughingstock,

even to his buddies.

- He's pathetic! - Come on, come on.

The Galaxy Quest dancers are almost on.

Full speed ahead, Lieutenant.

Hey, Commander,

so as I was saying in "The Quasar Dilemma,"

remember, you used the auxiliary deck B for…

Can you get this? Deck B for gamma override.

The thing is that online blueprints clearly indicate that

deck B is independent of the guidance matrix.

So we were wondering, just where the error lies in that?

It's just a television show. That's all, okay?

Right, but… 'Cause we were wondering if the quantum flux, nowjust listen…

There is no quantum flux. There's no auxiliary.

There's no goddamn ship!

You got it?

I mean it. I mean it, Alex.

I've never seen him lose it like that. Not to a fan.

I mean, it was just weird.

Gwen, I have said it for years.

He's mentally unstable.

L… I'm worried. It just was not like him.

As long as there is injustice,

whenever a Targathian baby cries out,

wherever a distress signal sounds,

- among the stars… - Among the stars…

…we'll be there.

- This fine ship and this fine crew. - This fine ship and this fine crew.

- Never give up. - Never give up.

- Never surrender. - Never surrender.

Can I help you?

Sir, I understand this is a terrible breach in protocol…

- You shouldn't come to my house, man. - Please, I beg you to hear our plea.

We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula.

Our people are being systematically hunted and slaughtered

by Roth'h'ar Sarris of Fatu-Krey.

We are to meet in negotiation.

However, our efforts in this regard have been disastrous.

Please, Commander. You are our last hope.

- We have secured our limousine. - What?

It's the thing for the thing that's…

Maybe I should get some pants on.

Come on in.

Commander, I must say that standing here in your presence

is the greatest honor we could ever have hoped to achieve in our lifetime.

That's… I really appreciate that.

Would you guys look for another shoe that looks like this, please?

Sir, I am Lahnk, senior requisition officer.

Before we travel to the ship, please let me know if you have any requirements.

Weapons, documents, personnel.

A Coca-Cola, do you have one of those?

Sir, I am Teb.