Evil

[Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" playing]

And you may now kiss the bride a second time.

- - Why not?

- You want to go for a third? -

: Hail, Guardian of the Redeemer.

To you...

Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

To you...

To... to you...

Your mom just wanted us

to chat, that's all.

See how you're doing.

Uh, we're fine.

I-I don't know what she wants from us.

I do.

Grandchildren.

Getting a lot of pressure for kids?

Define "a lot."

It's my mom. She's a bit high-maintenance.

Mm. Well, you, you have to set your boundaries.

You know, it's your home.

Hello?

Sister Andrea?

Can I help you?

Oh.

I'm sorry, Father.

I left something in here.

Please excuse me.

Oh, hello.

I know you two, don't I?

Yes, Sister Andrea. I'm Leo.

That's right. High school calculus.

You were terrible.

Guess what I'm doing now.

- Teaching calculus? - No, I-I'm a sound recordist.

But once I did have to use calculus.

Well, I'm very proud of you.

I'm Amalia.

Uh, Sister, remember the one that kept

smoking in the bathroom?

Sister? - Yes.

Yes, Amalia, yes.

Are you okay?

David, could I see you for a second?

- Now? - Yes.

I hope you're not holding my smoking against me,

Sister. I don't smoke anymore.

No, no, Amalia.

It's just a spiritual matter.

We'll be right back.

- -

- There's a demon in there. - There's...?

- What does that mean? - It means

there's a demon in there between them.

It has its hands on their shoulders.

- I didn't see anything. - Because you're not as good.

Look at your feet.

What do you see?

My feet.

No. There's a trail

of slime here.

- Like a snail. - Are you sure?

Don't patronize me.

- What do you want me to do? - I want you to find out

what the issue is.

There's something possessed in their marriage.

They've only been married a week.

It doesn't matter if it's an hour.

Find out what the issue is.

- And if there's nothing? - Then I'm wrong, Father.

And I should just clean up your room.

Hi. Uh, Sister Andrea's here to take notes.

Uh, she's a valuable consultant on, uh...

marital issues.

I don't think

we really have any marital issues.

- - We were just joking

- about our in-laws. - Yeah.

Is it an intimacy issue?

Fuck you.

If, uh, if you don't feel comfortable...

No, uh, it's not that.

You know

that we saved ourselves for marriage, Father.

Well, now...

now that we're married,

we're having... sexual issues.

Do you feel comfortable talking about it?

Or I could recommend

- a mental health professional. - No.

We don't want that.

Whenever we try

to be intimate...

We have a physical reaction.

- Like we're... - We're allergic to each other.

Uh, I break out, and I...

- My stomach. I-It's ridiculous. Okay.

This is sounding more like a medical condition,

not a spiritual one.

- We have an assessor

- I could get a reference from. Actually,

Father, I think it's better if the Church

do a thorough assessment before recommending

- a doctor. - Sister, I-I disagree.

I-I think this is sounding more like a medical condition.

No. Leo, Amalia,

this allergic reaction that you have.

Do you have any premonition

- of something dark? -

- What do you mean? - Yeah. What do you mean, bitch?

Do you have a sense in your marriage of something demonic?

Sister, perhaps we should talk about this later.

Leo. Amalia.

Show them.

Uh, that's why my mom wanted us to see you, Father.

She said that you deal with issues like these.

Issues like...?

This is what happened last time in bed.

Food allergy. I didn't do that.

I could feel fingernails clawing into me.

Uh... We had to stop.

- You don't have a pet? No.

And I didn't do it. It just suddenly appeared.

Help us, Father. We... don't know what's going on.

Is that even possible, that a marriage can be possessed?

Well, officially, it's diabolical oppression,

which is why we need you.

It might just be a psychological reaction to a new marriage.

Right, so I'd be there to see if it's just marital dysfunction?

Yes. They were virgins when they got married.

- Really? - So there could be

a therapeutic answer for their physical reactions.

What are their physical reactions?

- - Hives. And nausea.

Well, that sounds to be expected, right?

Just one thing.

The hives are in the form of claw marks.

Okay. Um, tomorrow?

See you then.

So, um, the door to the master bedroom

would be right there?

And the master bathroom would be adjoining.

Uh-huh. And how long is all this gonna take?

Two or three months.

Okay, well, let me look at these overnight.

I do need an answer. I have other jobs.

And you will have an answer tomorrow.

I also do plumbing. You want me to take a look upstairs?

No, I've got someone.

You're making it unhappy.

Yeah, well, you're making me unhappy.

What did you guys put down here?

- A kid from school. - Yeah, but a short one.

What is that?

- It's a snake. - What does it do?

Don't you guys have homework to do or something?

Have you noticed you're not very magnificent lately?

Yeah, you used to think we were funny.

Yeah, well, you used to be funny.

Your shoes don't match.

Ben the Magnificent, you are falling apart.

Yeah, okay. You know what? I need to do this on my own.

Could you guys go away?

Whoa!

- How did that happen? - I think it was an alligator.

I told you it's haunted.

Okay, would you just shut up, please?

We are not supposed to say that.

What, "please"?

No.

I think that's why you're sad.

What?

You can't figure it out anymore.

Things have gotten weird. And you don't like it.

- Where'd you get all that? - From my psychology class.

It's called cultural derealization.

It's when you become depressed by how weird the world is.

Oh, my God. Are you hurt?

What is happening? I think you should...

This is getting dangerous.

I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

- Lexis? - I'm bad...

Hey, Mom.

- What were you doing? - Nothing.

No, you were chanting.