Mr. Robinson

Y'all having a good time?

it is not... I repeat, it is not... a double entendre.

Not

Not if you're thinking sexually.

If you would show me your chocolate muffins

I could add my sprinkles and icing

I will be your baker, baby

I could love you so long and so nicely

I will mix your batter with my big wooden spoon

Make you forget the other baker

He would be home soon

Oh, chocolate muffins

It's time to bake

Oh, when I say, "Preheat," you say, "Oven"

Preheat - Oven

Preheat - Oven

Damn, girl, it's getting hot in here

From all this preheating

It's time for my favorite part

It's time for the icing, baby

Don't lick the bowl, baby

It tickles, but it makes me feel weird

Chocolate muffins

I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I

Oh, I don't believe it.

Band, break it down.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special lady

in the house tonight.

I love you, Craig!

Not you, baby.

Her name is... Victoria

Victoria

Haven't seen her since high school.

She used to... use to wear the key earring in her ear

like Janet Jackson, yeah.

Can I come talk to you?

Is it okay if I come talk to you right now?

Victoria, can I come talk to you right now?

You gonna stay right there? Wait for me, baby.

Wait for me, baby, here I come to talk to you

Hey, my name is Craig Robinson.

And I'm Ben Robinson.

And we are The Nasty Delicious.

And we'll... - Be...

Right...

Back

Mr. Robinson

Mr. Robinson

Victoria Wavers.

Mm!

Ooh!

The girl that got away.

Craig Robinson,

the guy who stood me up for prom.

Come on; you're not still upset about that.

Oh, no, not at all.

I was able to wear that dress a lot of places.

Oh, you want to see pictures

of me and my dad slow-dancing?

It's not sad at all.

Hey, I apologized for that.

Did you? - Yes.

"Girl, why you trippin'?"

That's an apology?

Why don't you let me buy you an "I'm sorry" drink?

Oh, I don't think they make glasses that big.

Tell me what you been up to all these years.

Uh, okay.

Um, went to Princeton, Wall Street.

Made a lot of money, wanted to give back,

and now I'm teaching English at Studs Terkel.

Our old high school. - Yeah.

That's crazy.

I do some substitute music teaching around town

when I'm broke.

I like it.

Teaching, not being broke.

Well, maybe we'll run into each other...

when you run out of money.

I'm out of money right now.

Bye, Craig.

Victoria Wavers.

Whoo, she grew up fine.

That booty and those eyes.

And that booty.

Man, you really blew it by standing her up for prom.

I know, B.

She's smart and funny and mad successful.

The only reason I stood her up

was 'cause it was our band's first paying gig.

I had to take that shot.

I always wanted to make thing right with her, though.

You want to get a girl like that back,

know what you got to do?

You got to do something unexpected,

like the time I climbed up Theresa's balcony.

She shot at you.

Yeah, but I got some.

You get her number?

No.

But I do know where she works.

You know what you do?

You should hide under her desk

and pop out like a jack-in-the-box.

Surprise, bitch! I'm here to surprise you!

Surprise!

I probably won't hide or jump or curse at her.

The kids in my math class think they're so clever.

The kids in my chemistry class

think the atomic weight of beryllium is 1.816.

Idiots.

I asked them what weighs more,

1 ton of metal or 2,000 pounds of wood.

This kid wrote, "My penis weighs more"

and drew a picture of it.

Well, if that's to scale,

this kid won't need high school.

Hey, everybody.

I'm Craig, music sub for the week.

Hey, Craig. - Hey. Craig.

I'm Samir, chemistry and physics.

Robinson? - Ashleigh?

Ah! - Get over here, girl.

How do you two know each other?

We taught out in the suburbs together.

You still dancing at the Booty Bungalow?

Friday nights.

Just paid off the lake house,

and now I'm looking for some rental properties.

Whoa. - Whoo!

You're a stripper?

What did you think I meant when I said I worked on poles?

Climate change.

Well, I have to finish grading these penises,

but it was great to see you.

Hey, man.

Jimmy Hooper, phys. ed.

But most people around here call me Magnum P.E.

No, we don't.

What's with the tennis getup?

Oh, I'm glad you like this.

I played professionally from '89 to '91.

Oh, that's cool. - Yeah.

Why'd you stop?

Have you ever been out on the road

with Boris Becker and Ivan Lendl?

He's a music teacher, Jimmy.

"Magnum."

I'll just leave it at this.

When Ivan Lendl says, "Let this dissolve on your tongue"...

don't.

I feel like you have some deep psychological issues

to work through.

Well, thank God I got you, buddy, right?

We're gonna be tight. I can feel it.

Let's put a pin in it.

Hey, tell me about Victoria Wavers,

English teacher here.

She's got the room right next to yours.

She's totally hot.

We went to school here together.

I was supposed to take her to prom.

Oh, crabs?

No.

Yeah, I didn't go to my prom either.

Tennis? - Crabs.

Good to meet you, man.

What's up? What's up?

I'm Mr. Robinson, sub for the week.

You can call me Craig, Mr. C,

MC Craigy-Craig.

Look, I'm not like your other teachers.

I went to school here.

I'm one of you.

And in my class, we don't just listen to music;

we make music.

We don't have any instruments.

Ah, that's where you're wrong at.

You are the instrument.

I am an instrument of death.

That's a really weird thing to say.

What's your name?

DJ Quan Phook.

Okay, DJ Phone Book, come on up here.

What's your name? - Lance.

Mm, too white. What's your real name?

Deandre.

Deandre, come on and join us, would ya?

Hey, Hashtag.

My name's Maria.

Okay, Maria, come on down.

Yes! All right.

Let's see. Who else?

Oh.

Hey, Shy.

My name's Halle.

Hey, Halle.

You want to come join our group?

No, thank you.

You know...