Nip/Tuck - Seventh Season

The Albert Poland award. Do

you know how many doctors have

won that thing, and then,

they've gone on to win

the nobel?

Well, that's what I'm talking

about. We are back in black,

Buddy boy. Nobody we care about

is dying and/or incarcerated,

right? We're about to head back

to our Alma mater and rub their

snotty little noses in it. I'm

very excited.

Oh, come on. It's not that

big a deal.

Oh. Excuse me. Ok. Lizzie?

Yeah?

Would you just read this to

him, ok? Mr. Humble pie over

there?

I certainly shall.

Ok.

Hmm. "Dear. Dr. Mcnamara and

Dr. Troy, for 40 years,

the university of Miami has been

bestowing the Albert Poland

award to those physicians who

have made significant

contributions to their medical

profession in their chosen

Fields."

Significant contributions.

Yes. Yes.

But isn't it kind of

a lifetime achievement award?

I'm 45. These things are

supposed to happen when

you're 80.

What's the matter with this

guy? Ever since we met, he's had

this dark cloud just hovering

over him.

Well, the cloud was called

reality. We were pre-med

students. It was non-stop

pressure and misery. And you

spent your days just whistling

past the graveyard.

Want a bite?

Sean McNamara, right?

Christian Troy.

I'm pre-med, too. We're in all

the same classes.

I don't remember seeing you.

Oh, yeah. I have attendance

issues. But that is going to

change. Sophomore year, and I'm

turning over a new leaf. And

with that in mind, my roommate

just had a breakdown or

something, and I've got an extra

bed. You want to bunk together?

I mean, I figured, since we're

in the same classes, we can cram

for exams, help each other out

with labs.

And I suppose the fact that

I'm number one in our class has

nothing to do with your request.

Of course not.

What number are you?

42, with a bullet.

Solidly in the middle.

Oh, sure, now I am. This is

just school. It's bullshit. I am

the only guy here who has seen

the future of medicine.

Don't you get it? This is

the new ideal... Barbie dolls,

plasticized, flawless women, and

it is catching on with men, too.

Plastic surgery.

The way of the future.

Yeah. It sounds like

meaningful work.

Oh, what, slaving away for

some insurance company for

pennies while you grab some old

guy's balls and say "cough" is

your dream?

No, but saving lives is.

Making a difference with my

work. You might want to consider

a different major.

And what would you suggest?

Do they offer courses in used

car sales?

How did I get him to room

with me? I blew him!

Seriously, you know me. I

didn't take no for an answer,

eh?

You know what? He harassed

me. Eventually, I agreed just to

shut him up.

And the rest... the rest is

history, right?

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Look at this.

To another 25.

Hear, hear.

Hear, hear.

Cheers.

Tell us what you don't like

about yourself, Mr. Daly.

Go to hell, dickhead.

Dan.

He didn't mean to be

condescending. It's just...

our way of...

you too, shitface. Uh-oh.

Sorry. You can't say that to

the doctors.

The insults are just his way

of showing his admiration. It's

part of the condition I

mentioned on the phone.

Oh, yeah. Uh, lesch-nyhan

syndrome.

Had you heard of it before?

No. We did some research.

A rare genetic disorder

characterized by an excess of

uric acid in the blood.

Affecting the area of

the brain that governs impulse

control.

Ade from the muscle spasms,

the effects can often turn

emotions into opposing impulses.

Love is hate, elation can become

misery, and admiration comes out

as...

"Go to hell."

In that case, we understand,

and it's a pleasure to meet you

too, Mr. Daly.

Can I see that...

Thing on your desk?

You mean this?

I want it. I really want it.

Sure. You can have it...

I should have warned you...

self-mutilation is a primary

manifestation of the disorder.

You probably noticed that with

his lips already. He chewed them

off.

Asshole. Oh, no.

It's why having a full-time

person to watch over him is

essential... which is not without

its risks.

I... I don't want to hurt him,

but I... I can't stop myself, even

when I try. It's just like with

my hands.

What happened to your hands?

It started when I was a kid.

They would just make me so

angry.

I had to have them gone.

I didn't even care about

the hurt.

I would have lost them all if my

mother hadn't figured out

a creative way to make me stop.

Eventually, they gave up on me.

They put me in a home. I've been

using assisted living for

30 years.

If you hadn't, you would have

killed yourself. Most patients

do. Life expectancy is 45.

And you just turned 46.

Yeah. I never thought I'd

make it that long.

But I did.

I did.

Now, if we do fix your lips,

how do you know it won't happen

again?

We don't.

What do you mean "we don't,"

asshole?

I'm sorry. It's just...

I've been self-destructing my

whole life, and despite all

the odds, I'm still... here.