Gary and His Demons

You know, some countries you visit and they look like anywhere, but Japan is just very Japan, you know?

So are you excited to meet up with the other chosen ones?

Actually, I am, yeah, yeah. You know, it's boring as these conferences are. It's nice to chat to people who go through the same crap as me once in a while.

You know, last year, Haruki showed us all this crazy scarry god on his ass and...

I mean, I don't know. He's nice. It was like a nice moment.

What are you doing here? You putting on lipstick?

Oh, okay, you know, it's just... Well, it's a first year I'll be single at one of these things.

Oh, my god, Marcello. Not Marcello.

What? We have had some hot moments in the past, Gary. If I hadn't been married, who knows?

He's got that sensual voice.

Yes, his voice is very sensual, but have you ever noticed that he's like a... like a dumb guy?

Like the things he says sound sexy, but they're actually quite dumb?

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about, Gary. Marcello is just as intelligent as anyone else.

Leslie.

Oh, Marcello.

When I heard you were coming today, I came to pick you up in my car.

I drove it on the road. I like cars.

Oh, I want to hear all about it.

The car is a vehicle. Yes.

It's four wheels.

Door. Oh, no.

Leslie, Gary, come. The rest of the seven are eager to see you.

Oh, cool. Not something I hear very often.

So how's Haruki? Did he get his ass bit off again?

I have not spoken to Haruki in a some time, but I understand he is quite comfortable in his new life.

His new life? What do you mean?

Gary, this is Madison, Damba, Axel, Ersa, Daniel, and Sakura.

Kids, this is Gary.

Hi, Gary.

Hi, Gary.

Hi, kids. One second. Sorry.

What's going on here? Where's Haruki and all the others?

Oh, everyone else. I retired this year.

Everyone gone except you?

They retired. Leslie, why wouldn't you tell me this?

I don't know, Gary. It must have slipped my mind.

Dr. Minkas, you were so busy thinking about Marcello.

Yirviji. Oh, my God.

Come, everyone. Lanche is served.

Lanche is a short for launch time.

Oh.

Okay, well, we got here. We got some rice. Got some rice. What a rice, okay?

Excuse me, Mr. Gary.

Yeah.

My name is Sakura. I'm the new demon hunter here in...

I'm the demon hunter from...

Japan.

Asia?

Yes, sorry.

Yes, I'm from here from Japan.

And I just wanted to say that it is an honor to meet you.

Can I make a video of you for my story?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's a hard-know for me, yeah.

Because I just don't want to...

Oh, you too.

Quick Gavin and join us.

No, no, no. That's okay. I think I'm gonna go sit with...

You know, I find when you're hungry, there is nothing in the world like food.

Yeah, okay. I'll say with you guys.

Okay, so personally, I haven't fought that demon yet, but everyone at my school thinks I'm so cool now.

Before I wasn't so cool, maybe I was a little bit cool, but now I am definitely cool.

I haven't seen a demon yet either, but I hope one day I would get to perform the 7 star with all of you.

Oh, God.

All right, Gary, go on. I bet you got some amazing stories.

No. No, I do not care to share.

Just tell us where you're going to be.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. What do you want to hear about?

The time my fiance was killed and it was probably my fault, or the time I had to choose between saving an orphanage and a pet store full of puppies.

Because spoiler alert on that one, I got stuck under a metal beam and they all died.

So yeah, you ever heard the collective screams of over 50 orphans and puppies dying at once?

And then you reach that point where you're like that specific scream that I'm hearing.

Is that coming from dog or boy?

That's a thought I have sometimes when I'm just walking around now.

And as for your 7 star, that's not going to happen. That takes all seven of us training together for months, which we won't do because demon hunters fight alone.

So congratulations. You signed up for the worst job in the world.

I don't know.

Podcast reviewer.

All right. Good talk, kids. Enjoy the rice.

Actually, I'm so sorry. I feel like I left that in a needlessly sour note.

Do you guys want to hear a nice story about the time I met Tom Cruise?

Or no, wait, sorry, no. This is a story about the time I was on a cruise and a bunch of kids got killed by a demon.

Yeah, it's another kid death story. As we have there were puppies on board, there were a few. As we have they survived. They did not survive.

Of course not. They got killed along with all the kids. That was a bad day.

So, Marcello, why don't you tell me something interesting about yourself?

My body is covered in skin.

That makes two of us.

Oh, oh, hi, I co.

I'm so sorry to disturb you, Patta. No one has seen Sakura in many hours.

You have not seen her, have you?

No, no, not since lunch. If you do, please let me know.

Okay.

I hope she's all right.

Lately, there is no wine left in the bottle.

I think another bottle.

Please, I would like it more wine from this bottle.

Where have you been all morning, Carrie? Sakura is still missing.

I was looking for tea, but all they had was bubble tea.

And then I tried to get coffee, and all they had was bubble coffee.

So, I don't know, I'm having a day.

Did she say anything at the lunch yesterday, they get it?

I don't know. They were all talking a bunch of shit about how excited they were.

And I just sort of set them straight. It's basic convo.

What do you mean set them straight? You didn't tell them your orphans and puppy story, did you?

Of course I did, Leslie. That story is this job and a nutshell. They deserve to know.

Carrie, they're children. Sakura probably ran away because you scared her.

Good, I hope she stays gone. Be scared.

Carrie, Sakura is just a beginning-hurt training. She is a tender child.

Very fearful. Such things are documented in her diary.

I don't look at her diary. Is that me on the cover?

You have served humanity for so wrong. Given so much, Sakura thinks the world of you.

Oh my god. Okay, let's do it. Hey, Marciao, you want a button? This was something dumb.

Orphans are a children with no parents.

Perfect.

I hope Sakura is okay. In Germany when children go missing, it's often the work of Sacrampus,

who dunks the children in the wash basin.

I don't think we have to worry about the crampus, Axel. Besides, if Sakura was in trouble, I'd be having like vision seizures about it.

Although those are pretty unreliable lately. Hey, none of you guys get visions, do you?

Anything like that? No, but I can summon a harpy eagle to look down from the sky.

Actually, sounds pretty helpful. Yeah, give that.

Okay.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, not too unreplubged here.

Oh, good. Does anyone else have power or anything?

I could call upon sacrampus to punish us all.

No. Anyone else?

I can summon a crock. I can summon penguins.

Lot of summoning. Okay, that's great. more eyes. Summon them all.

Ah, here she goes!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Hate the way this happens for you guys.

No, no!

Axel don't summon the clan of this!

Yeah, I'll set you to dream.

Oh, god, okay.

We gotta get out of here, guys.

Put them back in your chests or whatever.

I've got to change them up and dunks in my basin.

Never mind, let's get out of here, guys.

Round the corner, round the corner.

All right, any other ideas kicking around?