The Woodsman

On your left.

On your right.

You must check in with your P.O. once a week.

Your P.O. is entitled to visit at any time.

You cannot come within 300 feet of...

You must register immediately upon return...

Hey, Bob.

It's good to see you.

That's Mary-Kay.

Look, the only reason I'm doing this is 'cause I know

you did good work for my father.

So you be here on time. You do your work.

I don't want any kind of problem, period.

God, that looks awful.

Yeah.

Now, this looks good.

Mmm. Want some?

- Homemade. - No, thanks.

You won't taste a better chicken salad in town.

I said no, thank you.

I'm sorry. I... I got to get back to work.

- So, how are you adjusting? - I'm adjusting okay.

- And your new apartment? - Apartment's okay.

= How's the job? - The job's okay.

Do I take "okay" to mean you feel good about working there?

I said the job's okay.

That's right. You did.

- Vicki! - Fuck you, asshole.

- Come on. What's wrong, huh? - Kiss my ass.

Boy, you still think fast.

You don't need to think fast to handle a beer.

Well, it took some talking to convince your super I was a relative.

Yeah, well, I told her all my relatives were good-looking.

- Jesus Christ, man, it's good to see you. - Yeah, you too.

You look good. Damn good...

considering you're an old man now.

Feels like the whole world's gotten younger.

So, you're doing okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

- How's business? - Booming.

Can't keep up with the work. In fact, I just hired a few new guys.

Just... Just until, you know, we catch up.

Living across the street from a grade school. Jesus.

Something wrong with that?

Mmm. I'm just thinking of the noise.

It's the only landlord in town who'll take my money.

So, how's Annette?

A little tense.

You know, you're the only member of the family

still speaking to me.

Yeah, well, I remember when they all gave Annette shit...

because she married the brown-skinned boy

from down the street... except her brother.

And what about Annette?

I'm workin' on it.

So how old is Carla?

She's gonna be 12 next week.

We're gonna throw her a big party on Saturday.

I wish I could ask you to come.

Good enough to eat today, baby.

Ooh, yeah.

What the fuck do you think you're doing, huh?

How'd you like it if someone did that shit to your sister, huh?

Piece of shit!

Fuck off! Clean that shit up!

- Oh, yeah. - Play with yourself, asshole!

You okay?

What?

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fucking fantastic.

So, what'd he do?

- What did who do? - You know, the new guy.

Drugs, armed robbery, manslaughter...

Mind your business, Mary-Kay.

Have you made any friends there?

I'm not running for Mr. Popularity.

You seem a little hostile today.

It's called sarcasm, Dr. Rosen.

No need to call me doctor. I'm a therapist, not a psychiatrist.

It's all the same to me.

Walter, I'd like you to try something for me.

What's that?

- I'd like you to keep a journal. - No fuckin' way.

- Why not? - Evidence.

Perhaps a journal would encourage you to reflect.

Try it?

Sixteen, 17, 18, 19, 20.

320 feet.

How about that?

Want a ride?

- I'm all right. - It's fucking freezing out here.

- I'm fine. - Come on. I won't bite.

Something wrong with this picture.

Here's this nice, hard-working guy,

suddenly appears out of the blue.

Takes the bus to and from work.

I mean, who takes the bus anymore?

People who don't have cars.

- It's very weird. - Not as weird as a sharp, young,

good-looking woman working in a lumberyard.

Oh, yeah? What's weird about that?

Most women wouldn't choose it.

Guess I'm not like most women.

You never spoke to me before.

I thought you were a dyke.

- Are you? - What do you think?

You plan on drinking both those beers?

I'm sorry.

- Is that a school? - "K" through sixth.

Doesn't it get noisy?

I like the noise.

I used to think you were shy, but...

now I think it's something else.

What?

- Something happened to you. - Yeah?

I'm not easily shocked.

I get that impression.

So, you gonna tell me your dark secret?

Why do you want to know?

Don't you think I should know before we have sex?

I don't like to waste time.

So, you gonna tell me your deep, dark secret?

No.

Okay.

Hmm.

So, you're not a dyke.

Not tonight.

Hey, that was... intense.

You're still here.

I didn't say I didn't like it.

What are you doing?

This table's a heavy little bitch, man.

- It's cherry. - Huh?

This wood. It's cherry.

It's a nice table.

Yeah, well, it's my own design.

You're not gonna find another one like it in the world.

It was a beautiful gift.

So, why the fuck are you giving it back to me?

Because, man, you need a table.

Carlos, I... I made this table for you and Annette

as a wedding present.

- I put a lot into it. - I know, man. Look, I love the table too.

But... I also love my wife.

Hey, you got a beer?

I watch the kids arrive at school.

But for the last few weeks I've noticed someone else watching them.

I call him Candy.

She's at the top of her class at school.

How about your kids?

- They're good. - Yeah?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah?

She's really doing great at school.

I don't see her much, but...

- I'd keep away from him. - What?

The new guy.

I'd keep away from him if I were you.

- Oh, yeah, why's that? - I think he's damaged goods...

real damaged.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, Mary-Kay, I think I do.

Thanks a bunch for the advice.

Suit yourself.

Close, but no ciggy.

Thanks, babe.

Thank you.

Hey, Walter.

Hello.

Hello.

You okay?

Walter, what did you do?

What happened to you?

Walter?

Why do you want to know?

Because I like you.

What's the worst thing you ever did?

The worst?

I fucked my best friend's husband.

I mean, my best friend since second grade.

He had the hots for me and... Yeah, he was cute.

We'd get it on for days.

And then he told her... the shit.

Broke up their marriage. Ruined our friendship.

I still feel like the lowest piece of shit when I think about that.

So, what did you do?

I molested little girls.

Twelve years in prison is no joke.

How young?

Between 10 and 12.

Once a nine-year-old told me she was 11.

Once a 14-year-old told me she was 12.

I always asked how old they were.

What did you do to them?

It's not what you think.

I never hurt them.

Never.

Look,

I want you to go now, all right?

I told you I'm not easily shocked.

Yeah, well, you should be shocked.

- Or do you get off on this shit? - What?