Stuber

Tedjo's slippery.

He's small, but don't underestimate him.

- Just follow my lead, kiddo. - Okay.

- Sir. - Yes, please.

Hello. Need to get up to the penthouse please.

I'll let Mr. Washington know that you're here.

It's best if we surprise Mr. Washington.

Yeah. I think that'd be best.

Thank you.

"Mr. Washington"?

Why would Tedjo stay here and not a safehouse?

Better not be a bad friggin' tip.

"Friggin'"?

Daughter thinks I swear too much.

Is Nicole still dating that guy?

Yeah. Mathis.

Smells like a candle.

God, I hope they're not having sex.

Oh, don't worry about it, she's Catholic.

Probably just a bit of anal.

Morris.

Get down!

What the...

Clear.

Morris! You okay?

Tedjo.

Shit!

Fucker!

Oh. Oh, Jesus!

Two, three, four, five, six!

You little shit!

Vic, you good?

- That's Tedjo. - Come on.

I don't see him!

Where'd he go?

Hey!

I got him!

We gotta move!

Oh, shit!

Yes!

Is he there? Morris?

Just got down here! I don't see...

- Vic! Help! - Shit!

Help, help! Vic, help!

Morris!

Stop!

Come on!

Move!

Morris!

Hey! Yo, man! What's up?

- Stop! - Watch out!

Stop and turn around!

Hands up! Now!

Slowly! Don't move!

Morris!

Morris!

Morris!

Morris!

Shit.

Tell me you're good. Morris?

Come on, kid, talk to me.

Stay with me, kiddo. Come on.

Oh, God damn it!

I need backup.

We need medical support

at the west entrance to the Staples Center.

You're good. Hey.

Morris?

Morris?

Morris!

Help!

It's 5:00, Los Angeles. Quittin' time!

Get home, jump in the pool, have a cold one.

Because this heat wave is still working.

103 degrees at the beaches, 112 in the Valley.

Let's do it!

It's hot as hell, people, and the traffic is a demon.

405 is backed up from the 10 to Sunset.

Two lanes closed on the...

Oh.

Oh, shit! Again?

Stu!

Stuber.

You didn't cancel.

It affects my rating.

I can't drop below four stars or I lose this job.

Ooh. New ride? A little eco-puss for me but not bad.

How'd you afford this, Stuber?

It's a lease, and you can stop calling me Stuber.

Oh, come on. You know I gotta be tough with you.

I can't show favoritism

in front of my other employees.

You told Ashley in kayaks

that I lost my penis in the Gulf War.

I did that. Come on, man.

The point is, I see potential in you, Stu.

Just type in your destination.

- I'm not going to Bosley. - But...

I'm banging a chick that works there.

- Is her name Propecia? - Huh?

- Hmm? - All right.

Give me some of them Coffee Crisps, son.

I need the full Stuber experience

or you're getting one star again. Whoo!

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Okay, this is gonna sound complicated.

But what I need you to do is take Alta Loma,

down to North Croft Street.

- Five cheeseburgers. - Five cheeseburgers.

- Five cheeseburgers. - No onions, no pickles.

- Did you say five cheeseburgers? - No onions! No pickles!

- You're not gonna eat this in the car, right? - Oh, no.

- Down at the bar. - How come he uses...

I have four voicemails from him.

...four heart emojis? Every time he texts me...

Harry's parents died and was killed by Voldemort.

I just hate fish.

Now, a lot of people think...

Can't you see I'm in pain here?

Could you at least drive the speed limit?

Watch out!

That's on you, bro.

No! No!

No, go out the window!

"Massive eyebrows?"

Ugh.

Byron Jade.

Shit.

- Happy birthday, Kramer. - Yo, Vic.

- I appreciate it. - McHENRY: It's Kramer's 50th.

I brought you the world's tiniest piece of cake.

I didn't get cake on my birthday.

What're you doin' here?

Like a dog on a bone, you, huh?

Tedjo's a cop killer.

He's still trafficking through LA.

He'll make a mistake. I'll get him.

Look, I don't know how to tell you this...

but you're out of time.

The chief is kicking Tedjo up to the feds.

Bullshit!

I've been working on this case for two years!

Look, we don't have any choice.

It's their case now.

Feds didn't make promises to Morris's family.

Maybe you shouldn't have either.

Losing a partner can sideswipe you.

You're blaming yourself, but it's not your fault.

Look, when was the last time

you took a few days off? Some PTO.

Spend some time with Nikki.

Yeah, I'm gonna see her tomorrow.

She's driving me to a doctor's appointment.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Just old, blind.

Getting Lasik surgery tomorrow.

Okay. Spend some time with your beautiful daughter.

You'll come back a new man.

Yeah.

I'm sorry. Truly am, Vic.

Big lease. This is it, huh?

Yep. I have signed my half.

Once you sign yours, it is official.

I'd have to move some funds around, but, you know...

Check out my photoshop skills.

Oh, wow. That's awesome. That is beautiful.

- Oh, thank you. - Wow.

Wow! Byron Jade!

Oh, yes! He's gonna be our celebrity endorsement.

It's amazing, right?

I just was...

Because you had said that we couldn't

mention me on the pamphlet...

because it's a women-only gym...

and then your man friend Byron Jade...

much more of a man than I am.

Oh, Stu, no, no, no!

No, this is just about getting butts on bikes.

Sign it, sign it, sign it.

Okay!

No regrets.

Stu, oh, I'm gonna cry.

We're gonna be small-business owners.

Actually, I prefer business operator.

'Cause it reminds me of the Sade song

and that is empowering to me, so...

Mmm.

- We're doing it! - Yes!

Becca, I like your shoes.

They don't really go with your outfit...

but, uh, you can pull it off.

Oh, Richie, thank you.

I like your facial hair.

Although, am I your type?

'Cause I'm over 12.

- What? - I'm gonna go...

'cause when you entered,

my tailbone was like, "We're unsafe!"

Will you call me later?

- Yeah. - All right.