Crazy Lake

Sorry, Henry.

I can't keep you here anymore.

I promise I tried my best.

I'm sorry.

Wanna do some drugs?

Done with that?

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Wait.

So you know this place used to be part

of a secret government experiment?

- Please don't start with that conspiracy shit again.

It's true.

The government used to bring psychotic patients out here.

Used to bring them out here,

take them to the middle of the lake,

and tie cinder blocks to their feet and then push them in.

And watch them float to the bottom.

You mean sink to the bottom?

What did I say?

You said float to the bottom.

You can't float to the bottom of anything.

You can only float to the top.

Now can I have that?

Stop.

Give it to me.

- Babe, I think you have a serious problem.

- The only problem I have is that every time we smoke,

you start rambling about UFOs and government conspiracies.

No, it's true.

I used to have a friend who knew someone out here.

these criminals drugs all the time.

And then murder them.

And the government and pharmacy companies paid

- Can we talk about something else?

- That's why they call this place Crazy Lake.

They're all out there.

- You know you're an idiot, right?

Sometimes I wonder why I even let you see me naked.

- It's 'cause we both like tacos.

So are we gonna do this?

Do what?

Yes, please.

Wait.

Let's go in the tent.

- I really appreciate what you're doing right now.

Just stop talking.

- Let's go see what they're doing.

I got it.

What a gentleman.

Don't have a suitcase?

Are you gonna have enough clothes?

- Johnny, I'm only planning on wearing bikinis.

It's gonna be a good week.

Kristen!

Will you be honest with me?

- Is one of my boobs bigger than the other?

Just tell me, I can take it.

- Maybe a little, but I think that's normal.

That's not normal!

Let me see yours.

That's it, I'm not going.

What's your deal?

I feel like he's looking for reasons to break up with me.

- You don't know what it's like being with guys like him.

One second, he's telling me he loves me,

the next second, he's telling his friends

about Biggie Smalls.

You're so lucky you don't have a boyfriend.

Thanks.

- I mean, you totally could if you wanted one.

Uh-huh.

- Can I please just see your boobs?

No.

Let me see them!

No! (laughs)

That's Tim.

- How much farther, I have to pee.

We're really close.

I really have to go.

It's like two more miles.

Can't you just...

No, this is happening, pull over.

- What? - Pull over, Mark!

Babe, pull over.

Move!

Move, get out!

Jesus!

She's really fun.

Hello?

She might be taking a shit.

- I'm gonna go make sure she didn't pass out.

You okay?

Scared me!

Ready to go?

Wait, look at this.

What is it?

- I don't know, maybe it's like a rabbit

or raccoon got killed or something.

Killed by what?

I don't know, Kim.

Maybe a coyote.

Let's just go.

- Nobody said anything about coyote!

You okay?

Yeah.

Kristen, do you have any service?

I have one bar.

Nope, I have no bars.

- So, Kristen, you excited to meet Corey?

Who's Corey?

You didn't tell her?

- Tell me what? - Nothing.

Johnny and Mark's friend.

He's gonna be at the cabin.

Megan's trying to get you guys to have sex.

He's joking.

No, you literally said,

"I'm going to get them to have sex."

Megan.

Fine, okay, I said it.

But what I meant was I just thought it'd be cool

for you to have someone to hang out with this week.

It's three couples.

I don't want you to be left out.

I'll be fine.

I was just planning on relaxing

and reading a book or something.

Let's get one thing straight.

You can light candles or read 50 Shades whenever you want,

but not this week.

Not this week.

Okay.

Fine.

Yay!

What do we have here?

Oh shit, what's up, my man?

Glad you made it, brother.

Johnny B. Hood!

What's up, man?

Hi. Corey.

Yeah, you are.

Look at that face!

Hi, I'm Corey.

Hi, I'm Kristen.

Hi, I'm Kristen.

God, I wish I could live in this moment.

I, um, like your smile.

Thank you.

Is it vintage?

What?

Is it vintage?

Oh.

I just wanna lay down a few ground rules before we head in.

Throw up goes in the toilet, condoms go in the trash,

and under no circumstance, will anybody shit in the tub.