Mountainhead

Political turmoil escalated again today

across Central Europe and South Asia,

with several more outbreaks of violence

being directly attributed to new features

released in limited beta form last week

on social media platform, Traam.

Traam founder, Venis Parish, has pledged,

his company will act with all due consideration

before launching the final release version of the new tools

to its four billion users globally.

Oh, shit. I typed-- (CHUCKLES)

For the launch announce. It's so dumb.

- "Fuck" but with two U's. - (CHUCKLES) Oops.

- "Fuuck." - It's funny, right?

That's... That's fucking funny.

Shall I put that?

We can launch the full-fat product globally

and just be like, "Fuuck" with two U's?

Uh, what about with, like, three U’s?

I don't know. I like two.

Yeah, no, two... two is genius.

Boom!

Um...

I just launched a raft of new content tools

that are gonna make the fucking printing press

look like pre-cum and announced it like, "Fuuck."

What?

Oh, I... I just think given

what we're putting out into the world,

if we don't have the AI to help us--

Censor?

No, to help manage and mitigate.

I mean, right now, you have the White House,

but that changes, plug gets pulled

and we death spiral.

Okay, fine, you can tell Janine and the board

that I will talk to Jeff

- about his amazing AI... - Thank you.

...so they can stop freaking out.

- It's very boring. - (PHONE LINE RINGING)

Let's get some nice, little plinths

for the whiskeys. Little whiskey plinths.

- Have these been pre-pitted? - Yes.

Which means that some little, greasy monster

from Whole Foods has had his little fingers in 'em,

- and I don't like that. - (CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hold on, one second. Hello?

Dude! So, I'm coming to poker.

If... if you can accommodate.

Ven-- You're-- Absolutely. That's awesome.

Yeah, man, hungry for the hang. And Jeff is coming?

Yeah, Jeff's coming, if that's okay.

Yeah. Yeah, that's... that's great.

Uh. New place, yeah?

Yep, new place. This is-- Uh, can't wait for you to see it.

Okay, man. Sounds good. I gotta run. I gotta run.

- See you later. - Yeah, copy that.

Soups. - Jeff.

Uh. Just a heads up, Ven is coming.

Yeah? Uh. Fine. That's... that's great.

Yeah? You cool?

- Brewsters back on? Soups, I'm--

- If he's cool, I'm cool. - 'Cause, obviously-- You know.

- But it'd be good to see him, so... All right.

- Soon, Soups. See you soon.

- (CELL PHONE CHIMES) - You happy?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, look,

it's 36 hours of dark roasts

with my best buds. I... I'm happy.

Obviously, from my POV, you dropping the news

that you're going to a fuck party

in Mexico is sub-optimal.

Okay, I really don't like how your...

- But I'm dealing with it. - ...anxiety manifests itself, Jeff.

Okay? And just because people have sex at a party

doesn't mean it's a sex party.

I... I think it's exactly what it means.

Yes?

Randy? Just so you know, Ven is in.

Original Brewsters are go!

Okay, good. That's great news, Souperman.

I am en route, but I am in meetings, so...

Copy. - Okay. Bye-bye.

Yes. So, I've got everything, and I've reviewed.

But is everything in order?

Because my previous medical team were--

Well, I prefer

the unfashionable Victorian taxonomy,

oaf, simpleton, imbecile, moron.

Dr. Tofler was certainly an oaf, very likely a simpleton.

I know, James. But, um...

uh, in terms of the facts, the diagnosis. Um.

We all agree.

- There is no cure, per se. - (WHISPERS) I don't believe you.

But with good care,

you're looking at certainly five,

probably ten, maybe 15 years, before--

You're not a very intelligent person,

are you, Dr. Phipps?

All the things we can do, and we can't fix

one tiny, little piece of gristle inside of me?

Incorrect.

Sayonara, team!

"No droids in the cantina," enjoy the bunkhouse!

Do better!

I just want him to be comfortable.

And he's the richest man in the world,

so, you know, he has a high threshold.

So, yeah. I think, Venis takes mine here,

the master. And I go guest. Yeah?

Oh, you relocate?

Yeah, yeah, it's nothing. Just expunge me from here

and I hop over to Guest One.

Hmm? And we down-low that information.

Not because it's humiliating.

Just because it's boring. Thanks, P.

Um, your first guest has arrived, Randall Garrett.

Oh, cool. Great.

Oh. Tell him I'm coming. Can't wait to see that asshole.

Just be a moment. Just quickly see something.

"Slowzo. Welcome to Slowzo.

Not just a meditation tool. It's a lifestyle super-app.

The cool thing about jumping in with a bill,

dropping a bill chunk, a chunk o' bill. A b-nut.

Popping a b-nut.

If you bust a b-nut into this app,

it will give birth to a unicorn."

Human rights workers in Libya say

they believe there is a direct link

- between the violence... No.

...being unleashed on migrants

and deepfakes generated using new content creation tools

unlocked last week by social media giant Traam.

One expert claimed today's release

of additional features globally

was like pouring gasoline--

(SIGHS) Shut up.

Hello!

Is the owner of this terrible monstrosity home?

- (RANDALL CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES)

- Rand-O. Papa Bear. - Mm, mm, mm.

Dark Money Gandalf in the flesh.

Jeffrey. My love.

- (JEFF CHUCKLES) - How is your heartrate?

- Seventy-three. Hmm.

I have a sleep score of 80.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Oh, no. - The Brewsters are crowing!

Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - Cock-a-brewdle-doo!

Ugh.

All right, come on in, come on in, come on in.

- Look at this fucking place... Right?

- ...Souperman. - Thank you.

Wow. - No, no, no,

I... I just said look at it. No compliment implied.

Yeah, it was an incredible value proposition.

Had to shoot a few puppies to get Mountainhead ready

- for the weekend, but you know. - Mountainhead?

- Yeah. - Oh. Like, "Fountainhead"

Mountainhead? Was your interior decorator Ayn Bland?

Oh, my gosh, here we go.

All right. You see Nikkei is suspending?

- Oh, yes, and so it begins. - Right?

No, Randy loves this shit.

You rubbing your hands in glee or anticipation?

Change. - Change?

Change! Things can't get any worse

- for the working man, Jeff. Really?

What do you think the minimum wage is

in South Sudan?

Ah, it's-- Come on. What's the square footage?

Twenty-one thou. Ah.

Construction tripled,

but I'm like, you know what, quality is quality.

Hmm. Yeah. I mean,

you only build a pedophile lair once,

- so you gotta get it right. - (CHUCKLES)

No, seriously, make those kids happy, buddy.

- Are you guys seeing this? Jesus.

Panic buying in Tokyo? Shanghai might suspend.

Oh, the Japanese are freaking out

about nothing again.

Right. No, seriously, Soups, man,

uh, this place is just fucking ugly.

Like... like, really, just like, objectively...

Yeah. - ...a terrible design.

What exactly are the objective criteria

for aesthetic judgment, Jeff?

Hmm, that's true.

I did meet your first wife, so...

Oh.

Oh, and I fucked your girlfriend.

Oh, wow!

I'm sorry. That--

- (STAMMERS) Just nasty. - Nice.

So, seriously, Jeff, you're making crazy dollar.

Yeah, I mean, dude, you know, you build the great AI

and then let the AI do everything else.

- Yeah. - A lot of opportunities

in this fucking shitshow if you know what you're doing.