The Baby

Oh, hello. Sorry, uh.

Decaf oat milk flat white, please.

- Thanks. - Your baby's well cute.

Yeah, thank you.

Oh, uh, and one of those, please.

-Yeah, sure. Thanks.

Where is she?

What? No.

You tell me where she is.

Do you do this on purpose 'cause, honestly, I can't tell.

Excuse me?

We are meant to be on stage

in 45 minutes for the "Illusionists" audition,

- and she won't pick up her phone. - Yeah?

Well, she's just taken a baby from my flat.

- She's gone West! - What do you expect?

You appear out of nowhere with an elderly girlfriend,

dangle a baby in front of her,

and then disappear without a word of explanation.

And now I'm somehow meant to perform

the Assistant's Revenge trick

without a fucking assistant!

She's skiving your audition.

Maybe it's 'cause she's finally got wind of the fact

that you're just usin' her to get your spandexed arse paid.

Good luck getting the producer

to put your sparkly cameltoe on a poster.

- Yeah, fuck you. - Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Pick up, Bobbi! Where are you?

What you playing at? Call me back, now!

"Gone to Mum's...

bumblebee, love-heart, rainbow, shooting-star"?

Bobbi!

Welcome to Jupiter House!

We're going to have so much fun.

Wanna see my favorite spot?

I know exactly what Bobbi's playing at.

We go in, we get the baby, and we leave.

I'm not saying one word to that woman.

When did you last see your mother?

My gran's funeral, about 15 years ago.

She tried to lead a gratitude circle,

and I told her she's a narcissist.

She lives in this whack commune.

The whole place smells of nag champa and chicken shit.

Okay...

Oh!

Bobbi, I swear to god, I'm gonna fucking kill her.

What if he tries to hurt her?

Should've killed him when you had a chance.

He's trying to send you a message.

Hmm?

What message?

Shit. I know where they are.

Bobbi!

Bobbi!

Sorry... went down the wrong way.

What the fuck... were you thinkin'?

You said I could help.

A-And you seemed a bit s-stressed.

And you thought

coming here...

was the solution to that?

Well... I thought it could be good for you,

and Mum hasn't met him yet.

This is the last place I need to be.

Natasha, slow down.

Natasha... s-stop running away from me.

I'm worried about you.

I, I, I just want to know that you're okay.

- Are you okay? - I'm fine.

No, you're not. You're terrified.

Something's really wrong. Just... talk to me.

He's not my baby.

He fell off a cliff... and I caught him.

And now, I can't get rid of him.

He's dangerous, Bob.

And if you try and take him... he'll kill you.

I'd, I'd forgotten how mean you are.

Is your sister okay?

She's fabulous.

She's gonna stick around and play happy families

with my mum.

Let's go.

Hmm.

Jesus.

He's trying to keep us here.

Why?

Someone will come and take a look at the car.

Might take a while.

You and your friend can wait in the house if you like.

I know you didn't come here to see me...

so I'll do my best to stay outta your way.

Bobbi told me about this one.

You were exactly the same.

Could never get you to settle.

I'll make a bed up for you in case you need to stay.

Is there a lake here?

- Yeah. - Good... we'll do it there.

Why're you doing this?

I'm trying to save your life.

No. Tell me who you are to him.

Tell me why someone would spend 50 years

livin' in a car, eatin' rank-ass apple pies.

'Cause right now, all I see is a batty old lady

telling me to throw a baby in a lake,

and to be honest, I'm not feelin' it.

Nothing?! Okay, fuck this.

Whatever your plan is... clearly isn't working.

Where are you going, you stupid girl?

Don't walk away. We're, we're so close.

If you don't wanna tell me what the fuck is going on with him,

I'll figure it out for myself.

You'll be dead this time tomorrow.

I'll be following some other stupid girl.

Stupid girl!

What do you want? Are you hungry?

Bloody hell, you're a unit.

What d'ya want?

Maybe you can give me a break, yeah?

Get you some food, keep our heads down,

then find a way out, all right?

Hi, Ma!

Honey says the cider's ready for tonight,

if you wanna try it.

Precious Bobbi!

Aww!

I am so happy they're here.

And I'm so happy you're here, too.

Yeah...

Aww!

You've become an Aunt... and I've become an Elder.

So, whatever the circumstances,

that's a blessing, isn't it?

Mm. -

Now, pump up your bed, will ya?

This is my bed.

- Oh, Bobbi. - Right.

- I'll see ya at dinner. - Yeah.

Come on.

Come on.

He's crying 'cause you're tired.

You need to sleep, he needs to cry it out.

Hello, I'm Honey.

And you must be Natasha.

And this must be your lovely baby.

Oh, y-you've caught us in the middle

of slightly glorious chaos.

Gosh, they are wonderful at that age, aren't they?

Do you do skin-on-skin?

- What? - Oh.

You put them just here, on your chest,

until your heartbeats are in sync.

The bodily connection between a mother and her child

- is quite extraordinary. - Right.

Are you staying for the Solstice tonight?

- Sadly not. - Oh, you must!

Maybe, if we're very kind to Bobbi,

she'll give us a magic trick.

Then, it's all hands on deck for the bonfire.

Alright, alright, alright.

Um, what... have I got here?

Chocolate coins!