Romance on the High Seas

Did you see that, uncle?

Did you see the way he looked at that bridesmaid?

Oh, no, he was just looking around

and accidentally there was a bridesmaid.

- Why doesn't he look at me? - Oh, he has seen you.

Did you catch that? Flirting right up to the last minute.

Oh, don't be silly.

I'll never be able to trust that girl.

Oh, I won't need you anymore today, Thompson.

- Good morning, Mrs. Kent. - Oh, good morning, Charles.

We've booked passage for you and Mr. Kent

on the Southern Queen sailing next Tuesday.

Good. Did you get us a stateroom on the promenade deck?

Naturally, we've also arranged for your accommodations

in Rio, at the Hotel Atlántico.

- The presidential suite? - Of course.

- How do you do? - Good morning, Dudley.

Don't worry about a thing, when you arrive in Rio

our man will escort to the hotel.

Fine.

Uh-oh! Here she is again.

Take care of her, Dudley, in a nice way. I got stuck last time.

Quite a character. Comes in here every few months.

'Loads up on literature, plans elaborate tours.'

- Never goes on one of them. - Really?

Why is that?

Well, she's just a singer in a honky-tonk. Hasn't got a dime.

'Now, there are some papers here for you to sign, Mrs. Kent.'

- How do you do, Miss Garrett? - Oh, greetings, chum.

My, we haven't seen you... since, you didn't go to Switzerland.

Yeah, I gotta big kick out of planning that trip.

What looks good this time of the year?

How about The Canadian Rockies?

Canadian Rockies? Don't you remember?

- I already haven't been there. - Oh, of course, I'm sorry.

Oh, what about a cruise through the Canal

and return home by train from Los Angeles?

The Canal's for schmoes.

Come on, what really looks good?

Well, South America's getting a heavy play.

We have some literature on it if you'll just step over here.

- Sure. - 'Here are the papers.'

- Hello, Miss Garrett. - Hi.

"South America, the seat of ancient cultures."

"Museums, missions, archeological ruins abound."

South America.

Mañana, that fractures me.

Hey, what has South America got besides romantic ruins?

Let's see, it says here

there are approximately four men to every woman...

That's enough. Doesn't hurt a girl to be outnumbered.

- Pardon me, Mrs. Kent. - Yes?

We're all set up to take your passport photo.

Oh, thank you. I'll be right in.

As long as I'm handy, I might as well have one taken too.

But, Miss Garrett, you've already

had seven passport pictures taken.

But never as a blond.

Are you going to tell your husband?

Oh, not yet. I want some time to prepare him for it. Well..

Now, before you go, there's just one more thing.

- Uncle. Uncle. - Yeah.

- What happened? - Do you see what I see?

- What do you see? - Isn't that Elvira down there?

Now, Michael, don't tell me you're still jealous of her.

Well, why did they raise the top?

I don't know. Maybe, they are afraid it will rain.

O-o-oh!

Let's face it, uncle. Elvira's a flirt, always has been.

Thought marriage would change her, but it hasn't.

Just the opposite, my boy.

When a woman is married she has to flirt twice as hard.

To prove she's still got it.

Yes?

- Yes what? - Whom do you wish to see?

Mr. Michael Kent.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Mr. Kent's secretary.

Oh, since when?

Since 9 o'clock this morning.

- Who are you? - Mrs. Michael Kent.

Since three years ago.

Oh, really?

Why do you say, "Oh, really"?

Well, I didn't know Mr. Kent was married.

Well, you've only been here since 9 o'clock.

He couldn't have gotten very far in the story of his life.

Shall I announce you to Mitch? Uh, I mean, Mr. Kent?

Ah, never mind.

I'll just walk in on Mr. Ke.. I mean, Michael.

- Hello. - Oh, hello, darling.

- Your hat's on crooked. - It's supposed to be that way.

Oh, is it?

Looks very cute. Very cute.

We'll take care of that a little later.

Uh, who was that you just drove up with?

Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't see me.

Well, it was an automobile salesman.

Two of you looked so chummy, I'm sure he was an old friend.

He was showing me how the car worked.

You didn't tell me you were getting a new car.

You didn't tell me you were getting a new secretary.

Where did she come from?

Oh, from the Acme Secretarial School, I suppose.

By the time we get back from South America

she'll be able to type with all 10 fingers.

Oh, South America. Oh..

- What's the matter, dear? - Oh, nothing, nothing.

Oh, excuse me.

- Mr. Kent, you wanted to see... - Fine, fine.

Put them on the chain. I Want all in America to smell good.

- Yes, sir. - Oh, ah..

Michael, every time you say, "Oh, uh, um" like that

I know there's something on your mind and not in your throat.

- What about our trip? - Well, darling, this is it.

I'm afraid we're going to have to postpone it again.

Postpone it? Why?

Business. Something came up this morning...

About 9 o'clock this morning?

Yes, yes, about 9.

Phone call from the West. Great chance for a merger.

Listen, marriage is a merger too, you know.

- And a darned important one. - I know, I know.

If we grab the Great Western Drug Company

every hot-water bottle in our nation will have our name on it.

That's a comfort.

Tell J.B. to put the hot water bottles on the national network.

You wanted me to remind you of your lunch appointment.

Oh, yes, yes, thank you, Miss Medwick. Bye-bye, dear.

May see you at dinner. Glad you see it my way.

Miss Medwick, bring your notebook.

This is not only lunch, it's business.

- Would you please sign these? - Oh, yes, yes.

Mm... that's a wonderful perfume.

Don't believe we carry that in our stores.

Would you mind telling me what it is?

It's called Tonight or Never.

It's your passport photo.

A messenger just brought it from the Baker Travel Agency.

A lot of good it'll do me now.

- We'd better put it in stock. - Oh, yes, sir.

If you don't want it, I'd be glad to keep it as a souvenir.

'You're sweet.'

Excuse me.

- Would you mind finishing? - Oh.

- Hello, dear. - Hello, Uncle Lazlo.

Your-your hat's on crooked.

- It's supposed to be that way. - Oh.

I guess you heard Michael cannot go to South America.

Uncle Lazlo, couldn't you handle this deal yourself?

No, darling, I cannot do anything without Michael.

I am the President of the company, but he is my..

My brains in the drugstore business.

When I started in this business nobody was helping me.

'No. I was a soda jerker.'

Pssh.

I was such a thin boy, my boss was such a guy.

One mistake, I got a punch in the nose.

But now it is different.

I am the success, so he does all the work.

No, no, no, I cannot let Michael go, not for a day.

'He's the great business head.'

I didn't marry Mike for his business head.

He's so attractive, but he's such a wolf.

Uncle Lazlo, don't you think it's a little strange

that this business deal should pop up

the same morning he hires a beautiful new secretary?

I know what you are insinuating, but you are 90 percent wrong.

Oh... what about the other 10 percent?

Oh, well, I'm not saying that

Michael has not looked at another woman.

Who hasn't? I have looked at women.

And the few that looked back, I married.

That cured me of looking.

I will tell you what, I still like women

but I-I stopped looking.

Well, that isn't me.

Is there a phone number on the back? Let me see.

- A nice girl. - Thought you'd stopped looking.

Why, I know who that is. That's that girl in the agency.

She's quite a character.

Elvira, dear, why not forget about Michael

and take this trip yourself, why?

And leave him here with a free hand? Oh, no.

Don't be silly.

Even if you were here, if Michael wanted to play around

in a city like New York, with a little caution.

If he thought I was away, he wouldn't bother

about being careful.

How I'd love to go to South America and catch Michael here.

My dear niece, not only is it impossible

but it cannot be done.

Uncle.

- What? - I think I have an idea.

What? What idea?

Get me the Baker Travel Agency

and I wanna speak to Charles, please.

Uncle, we're going nightclubbing tonight.

Night-nightclubbing?