Sonu Ke Titu Ki Sweety (सोनू के टीटू की स्वीटी)

"You get me Golden earrings."

"I'll kiss them and wear them in my ears."

"You get me Golden earrings"

"I'll kiss them and wear them in my ears."

"You get me Golden earrings"

"I'll kiss them and wear them in my ears."

"Please agree," You call this an arrangement?

"Take me shopping.." Everything is so dull.

Our reputation is at stake.

All the guests are just eating and leaving.

At this pace, by the time the ceremony starts, there will be no guests left.

How can you blame the arrangements for that, sir?

Did I ask you to invite boring people?

If your guests are irresponsible and don't care about your respect.

How is it my fault?

The DJ is blasting his speakers.

New, old English, he's got all kinds of songs.

But it is your guests who have to dance, right?

This is neither a movie nor am I Ranveer Singh..

To start dancing at your wedding.

Imagine how stupid I will look dancing over here.

The wedding got delayed because of the beautician.

Because at the last moment Pinky decided..

To go for the platinum package instead of the gold one.

How is that my fault now?

We have planned everything according to the gold package.

Tell me if there is anything lacking in my arrangements.

Sir, we are running out of plates.

What do you mean?

Uncle...

Your relatives sons are standing right there.

I asked them to count before I placed the plates there.

It was you who thought that 700 plates would be enough for 1200 guests.

Others will only hog on snacks.

Now make them eat snacks.

Okay, don't look so distressed.

I will place some more.

But I will charge 400 per plate for these.

400 per plate?

What kind of a person are you?

I am charging you 400 instead of 1400 at the time of your need.

If it were someone else, he would have charged 2000.

What now?

Sonu!

Sonu...

Sonu, Pihu...

Is she dead?

Why are you saying that?

I am already crying.

Did I make you cry?

You can at least stop me.

For what?

She'll just make you cry again.

She should make you cry, I should make you stop.

She should make you cry, I should make you stop.

She should make you cry, I should make you stop.

This girl has this vicious circle going forever!

There is a limit to being stupid!

We have been doing nothing but this since the past two years.

You started crying on the first month anniversary...

And you still haven't stopped.

She didn't do anything.

It is my fault.

What an...

What's your fault?

I checked her Tinder account.

You checked her Tinder account, that's the issue?

I apologized to her as well.

But she feels that I don't respect her privacy.

And that I doubt her.

Please talk to her.

You fool, why does she have Tinder account in the first place?

How does that matter?

Talk to her, please.

I swear, if you weren't my childhood friend..

I would have disowned you long back.

How did you become such an idiot?

People become blind in love, not stupid in love.

I mean, how?

I don't even control myself as much as she controls you.

From your food, to clothes, even our toothpaste is of her choice!

We have been using Colgate since childhood..

And now because of her "herbal" nonsense.

My mouth tastes like mud all day.

She takes care of us.

Otherwise, you know how I hog at the shop.

That's grandpa's Kurta, isn't it?

Yeah, I flicked it.

It's nice, right?

Get more Kachoris.

Okay, sir.

It's very nice.

You should wear such Kurtas, grandpa types.

Why wear t-shirts?

They'll have good fit, make you look young.

Yuck!

Shouldn't we just eat Kachoris instead?

Listen...

Also get Jalebis for him.

Okay, ma'am.

This is how she takes care?

She could have mentioned health or cholesterol.

She could have said that you'd get a heart attack.

But no, she isn't worried about your health.

She is more worried that if she's seen around with a fat guy..

Then her image will get ruined.

Hmm?

But it means the same.

There is way of saying things.

Those who have to take care don't taunt to do so.

She manipulates under the disguise of taking care of you, Titu.

She is not at all manipulative.

Don't make me say it.

I didn't want to go that way, but let's go there as well.

'Scoundrels, no one at the police station could find my uniform?'

'Shame on you!'

'Sir, you are the one who is naked.'

'Why should we feel ashamed?'

'Bloodshot eyes and an officer...'

- He means... - Please.

I'm glad I don't understand.

She grew up in Jalandhar, right?

She attended college in Delhi.

Then how can she not know Punjabi?

She understands Honey Singh perfectly well.

But she scrunches her nose when it comes to Malkit Singh.

It is all a pretense, Titu.

I am telling you, she is a liar.

And that day...

Which day?

You know very well know which day.

Not that.

Don't go there.

Why not?

Because you know that I am right?

You will have to come along.

Come on.

Come on!

Hi.

Hey, hi.

- How are you? - What's up!

Good, good...

My friend Sonu.

Hi, Anshul.

My friend Titu.

Hi, Anshul.

What's up!

And... how are you?

Not too bad. You were leaving?

No.

You know why a girl Introduces her boyfriend as a friend, right?

Don't say anything.

I am not saying anything.

Now her Instagram will do the talking.

Where are you in this?

Where?

Tell me.

Yeah?

Where?

Just show it to me.

I will shut up.

You have even given her the keys to the shop.

She also knows the code of the cash counter.

And she doesn't let you check her Tinder account?

So, what should I do?

What do you mean by, what should I do?

End it!

Call her up and ask her to return the keys.

I will change the code.

I should break up over such a small thing?

Small thing?

In two years, 24 months, 104 weeks...

She has made you cry for a 102 weeks.

What kind of a relationship averages one week of happiness per year?

We don't need it, bro we don't need it.

It is not like that, Sonu.

Things will get better.

Look, I was hoping that you would understand.

But I have no other option.

I can only let you jump into ditches I can get you out of.

I waited for two years.

But not anymore.

I never wanted to do this in life.

But I have no other option to save you.

Think of it this way, it's either her, or me.

"Boy, you don't have to be the last one standing."

"Boy show me, you could be the one, one, one..."

"Look into my eyes... and come closer."

"You wear high heels... and I am crazy about you."

"You make tall claims... prove it to me."

"Come closer, handsome."

"I wanna see you whine like Rihanna..."

"Get all the pounder, Bom Diggy-Diggy, Bom Bom."

"She burnin' up like the summer..."

"She'd tell me, I'm good at Bom Diggy-Diggy, Bom Bom ."

"You've got me like crazy."

"That you callin' me..."

"Bom Diggy-Diggy, Bom Bom!"

"You've got me like crazy."

"That you callin' me..."