Golden Arm

You got it.

Yeah, yeah, you got it.

Come on!

Where's your pink pussy hat, princess?

It's at home, covering up my giant dildos.

Where's yours?

Winner!

Suck my tits!

Suck her tits!

Yeah!

Oh shit, I'm just getting warmed up!

Now which one of you buttholes is next?

This butthole!

Fucking Brenda.

Hey, Danny.

Jerry.

Oh shoot, it's Bonecrusher

versus the Dominator!

Ready, go!

Crush those bones!

Come on, you got 'em.

Come on, you got 'em, you got 'em.

God, oh fuck!

Jerry, flip this table over!

You dirty cheat.

Oh, looks like you won't be going to Nationals, Danny.

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Ice, ice, ice, ice.

Oh god.

I think it's broken.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

There's no fucking way

that she broke my wrist.

I mean hey, if it was broken, could I do this?

Oh, fuck!

Jerry, crush that can, fuck.

She tore the ligament in my shoulder.

This is just like Pittsburgh a month ago.

She's getting rid of all the competition

so that she can get the grand slam.

You were the best chance we had of beating her.

And now your arm is fucked.

Yeah, and there is no way in hell I'm gonna let her

win this tournament.

We need somebody new.

Somebody she's not expecting.

We need a ringer.

That should do it.

Oh, great.

I don't get these going in the next 10 minutes,

I'll lose the day.

She's back up and running.

Awesome, thanks, Sue Ellen.

How much do I owe you?

Wow, that's more than I was expecting.

Sorry, sweety.

It's on its last legs.

I did what I could.

Or I could get you a new one for 8,000.

Okay.

Okay, so you can run all three of these.

I only need one.

No, you'll need to run all three.

Sorry.

Hey, ex-wifey.

Steve, what are you doing here?

Don't freak out, I just came by to say hi.

Oh, and these finally came.

I asked you to mail these to my apartment.

Ugh.

Well, I was in the hood

and I wanted to make sure you didn't burn the place down.

If you do, we could split the insurance money. (CHUCKLING)

I'm not gonna burn the place down.

Ah, you wouldn't do it.

Someone else would do it.

And noone'll be in here, noone's gonna get hurt.

It was a joke.

Whatever.

Please, don't.

Have you washed your hands?

What, no, why?

You're touching food that I'm going to serve.

If you're gonna have a fit, okay?

I'm not having a fit,

I'm just asking you to have clean hands.

If you're gonna be hysterical, I'm gonna leave.

Okay, I don't need this anymore.

- Okay. - All right, fine.

- Okay. - Jeez.

Thank you for dropping these off.

Yeah, you're welcome.

Ugh, what?

What is going on here?

That donut sucks.

That's not a donut, that's bread.

A donut is bread.

Boo!

- Oh, ow! - Oh, Danny!

- Oh, shit! - Oh my god.

- I'm so sorry. - My titty!

I'm so sorry.

Oh my god.

- Hi, Mel! - Hi!

Hi, Danny.

- Oh, you really scared me. - Oh, shit.

No, it's fine.

Oh sorry, you spilled your papers.

- Oh. - I'll take those.

- Give me the papers. - What papers?

- I don't have any papers. - Give it to me.

Please give it to me.

Whoah.

Decree of dissolution of marriage?

Holy shit, that's awesome, Mel!

Waacking.

And it's fucking shitty.

But in the long run it's awesome,

but right now it's gonna be awful.

Sorry, Mel.

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you too.

Sorry I punched you in the breast.

No, it felt really cool.

It did?

Yeah.

I'm so glad you threw the trash out finally.

I've been back there for like six hours.

I'm sorry I haven't called.

Are you okay?

Oh yeah, this is nothing.

I'm sorry I haven't called.

I've been just as bad.

What have you been up to?

Oh, man, Mel.

I've been doing this like transatlantic route

and I was able to get myself my own rig.

That's so cool!

Yeah, right? (CHUCKLING)

Ugh, this lady's the worst.

Who is she?

Hi, how are you?

Hi, super busy.

Oh yeah.

Well I have your small cappuccino with extra foam.

And where is my scone?

Oh.

Are you sure?

I'd like to have my scone that comes free

when I order.

Mhmm, okay.

God.

Mhmm.

Okay.

Ugh!

Have a great day.

Have a great day?

What the hell, Mel?

What am I gonna do, fight her over it?

Yeah, you're gonna go out there and kick her ass

and then slash her tires.

Danny, you know the customer is always right.

You know what would determine

who's right and who's wrong?

A good old-fashioned arm wrestling match, huh?

What, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Oh, come on, you used to do it all the time.

Yeah, when I was a kid!

Or as a goof in college, you know,

when we couldn't decide what to get for takeout.

- Calzone wins again, yeah! - Dammit.

Please don't tell my mom I look like this.

I mean you always won.

Well, arm wrestling isn't gonna solve

my problems anymore.

I don't know.

I still think you should arm wrestle her.

I don't know, it's not worth it.

Oh, what?

Mel, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm great.

You know what?

You need to do like an eat, pray, love thing.

Come with me on the road.

I got a shipment to Detroit.

Oh, it's been so long since we've gotten to hang out

and you could see me in action!

Yeah.

Think about it, just me, you and the open road.

It'll be fun.

I wish I could but I can't.

Mel, you gotta get outta here.

You gotta go see things and try things.

Rather than just hiding behind that apron

like a depressed, underweight Bobby Flay.

Hey, if anything, I'm a depressed,

underweight Barefoot Contessa.