FP 4EVZ

(dopest/sickest theme song banger ever)

So the story goes,

that once upon a yesterday,

way back in the dry ages,

ducks ruled the Earf until some Beat God dude named

Beat Massa X came down from the stars

and brought the blood sport Beat-Beat Revelation

and a comet full of booze to our world.

He enslaved the ducks with the fear of being flipped

straight edge again on the spot.

Because as we all know, without no booze,

they would become un-drunk.

The Beat Massa descended upon them with his unstoppable

army of L Black D's and 187ed the known duck world,

in what we now know as the Beat Wars.

And when da land was sucked dry of all of her fossil boozies

the Beat Massa began the cycle anew.

The Wet Shit swept across the land.

187-ing all the peeps,

And 911-ing Mother Earf,

refilling the fossil boozies

for the new race of enslaved peeps to mine for him

all over again.

Us.

In the Wastes of the old world, Beat-Beat Revelation

is still the only way of life.

Where the ultimate prize is the Quatro,

or booze as it was once known.

Whoever controls the Quatro, controls the Wastes.

And only one Quatro oasis remains; the FP, our home.

My name is JTRO.

I'm a RE-NINJ.

A Beat Warrior like my father before me.

In the many battles we fought,

beating off the rage fueled followers of Beat Massa X,

we lost many loved ones.

Until I met CHAI-T,

The Beat Battle Queen from the Wastes

who strengthened the FP with her tribe of Warrior Ninjawas

and helped us finally bring peace to the FP.

Shit was chill.

We threw some pups.

Our daughter, CHAI-TRO grew into a strong young Beat-offer.

But sadly, due to some health politics,

her brother, JR-TRO took a dirt nap at birth.

Time passed

until CHAI-TRO discovered she could beat through time

with her feet on her 18th BD.

She ventured into the past,

helping us destroy Beat Massa X's booze comet

that was poisoning our Earf.

And together, as a family, we defeated L DUBBA E.

Finally eliminating the Beat Massa's only remaining weapon

from the Beat Wars.

But our cycle's time has finally come.

The Wet Shit,

a never ending storm of sobriety from which

there ain't no cure,

has swept across the entire Earf

and is on the FP's doorstep.

Can we save the FP in time?

Or will we become stone cold sober 4Evz?

(synthy debatably ethnic fantasy music)

Duck marks the spot.

- So this is CHAI-QUACK-TICA, huh?

What's left of it.

- It's thought it would be a little bit bigger

considering it used to be the most advanced civilization

on Earf or whatevz.

- Well, it was once upon a long ago.

- Yeah. Now no one even remembers 'em.

(dope AF rock-synth title sequence music)

Ducks marks the spot.

(dope AF rock-synth title sequence music continues)

Follow my beats, carefs.

(suspenseful ass beat-puzzle music)

- Stank! Whoopsiedooz!

Floppy twat step!

Balance, yo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So do you really think what we're looking for is here?

- The prophecy was hided here by the Way Backs.

And only the descendies of the Way Backs can find it

here again.

Oh boy.

(ethereal shit's about to go down music)

Okay, so now what?

Two, four, eight.

Two pads.

Two peeps.

Too easy.

Left arrow, right arrow.

Interesting.

Three, two, one.

Okay, well that sounded good.

Now what, four?

Left arrow, down arrow.

Right arrow, up arrow.

Okay, I'm picking up what you're laying down.

Copy-roo.

Eightses.

All.

All.

Two, four, eight.

Combo mode unlocked.

That means don't miss any.

Yeah, I know what that means.

Three,

two,

one.

Beat-Beat.

Here goes nothing!

Easy. We're on the same team!

Then keep up.

Ahh, fuck me.

(H.O.T. ass af synth music continues)

Chill.

You gassed?

I'm not gassed,

I'm just breathing.

You look gassed.

JTRO, my youngling.

You has finally come.

Mom?

I am her memzies.

Left behind to guide y'all when the time came a-do.

Time for what a-do?

Your final battle.

The one that decides the fate of all our peeps.

- Stopping the Wet Shit, right, I know.

Faleses.

There is no stopping the Wet Shit.

The Wet Shit is the planet's defense system

leading to a wet age that reboots the Earf

and refills the Quatro.

It 187'd the ducks

as it will y'all if you fails.

How do we save our peeps?

- There is hope. A cure for your peeps.

The Fountain of 4Evz,

where Bloody Quatro brews with the power of re-life, yo.

- Wait, so where do we find this Fountain of 4Evz?

Not, wherezies.

Whenzies.

Okay, then whenzies?

The Zero Dark.

The futies.

Correcty.

Beyond your time.

It hasn't activated in yours yet,

but take heed, unlocking the Fountain of 4Evz

will also unlock him.

Who?

Take the Quad-Force.

It will show you the way.

Only the Duckborne can save the Earf.

Take the Quad-Force, it will show you the way.

Only the Duckborne can save the Earf.

Mom!

Mom!

(magical shit distorting 'n shit)

You fresh?

- I never even knew what she looked like before.

- She had a pretty cracking rig for a holo-do.

Yeah, she did.

So, do you know what any of that means?

Just the hot goss.

We should get this back to DC.

(somber ass sadzies music gets sadziers)

(double serious bad guy synth music intensifes)

Ducks in a barrel.

(super spooky foreboding AF sound design)

Chromedome,

come on back.

Trailer Henge, hola.

Anyone at the 248?

Anybody in the 2-4-8?

Fuck.

(super spooky foreboding AF sound design continues)

(thunder storm going all overtime 'n shit)

Hasta la vista.

- She's so jealous of my hot looks.

She's always fucking worried that I'm hotter than her.

She's right!

Fokliff!

- Time travel? How 'bout I go back, time travel to my

trailer and fucking kick your ass the way I should have!

- So you sent me back in time so I could tell younger youse

and dadzies that y'all got 10 365s to find a way

to stop the Wet Shit?

- Well, technically you sent yourself back through time.

But, yeah, paraphrase.

Hevz.

Did it work?

TBD, yo.

Well, now what?

- Now we wait for Uncle DC to interpret the prophecy

and then we does what we always do.

The impossy.