American Dragon: Jake Long

This is your territory, young dragon...

And you alone are responsible

for the magical creatures living within it.

From the centaur herds of highbridge park...

To the floor of the secret leprechaun stock exchange.

On top of the empire state building...

To the mermaids of the east river.

Whoo-hoo!

If you can make it here, you'll make it anywhere.

Ah, no problem.

I am totally on it.

But first, you must master

your dragon training one step at a time.

Even a young falcon

must stand before it can fly.

Check this out, g. Dragon up, yo!

Bow!

I'm not only ready to fly,

I'm ready to soar!

Represent!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

'Cause the American dragon is in the house!

Yeah!

Yeah--

Aah! Unh!

I'm cool. No prob.

Unh!

C-c-could you guys--

A little help down here?

Dragon up!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Freak out with the dragon.

You heard?!

Jake! Get back to work!

Aw, man.

We dragons are creatures of immense magical power.

But to unlock your potential,

you must keep training,

and master the fundamentals.

Dragon fire!

Dragon teeth!

Dragon tongue!

Dragon claws!

Dragon tail!

Yo, I'm all over it, grandpa.

And a dragon student must obey his dragon master,

without question or hesitation.

Totally. I'm all about obeying.

Whatever you say, whenever you say it.

Oh! Blecch!

Blue cheese with a touch of sweat sock.

I'd know that foot stink anywhere.

The huntsman? You sure, fu dog?

What's he doing here?

Ahh, you tell us, young one.

Huntsman's footprints head north/south

on the night of a full moon.

He's hunting unicorns!

Bada-bingo! Give the kid a prize!

Ah, yes. Unicorn horns.

Always a valuable commodity on the magical black market.

Are we gonna crack open a can of smack daddy

on this huntsman here or what?

Not we, you.

Me? As in alone? Solo?

I will not be around forever.

It's time you put your dragon training

to the test.

Right! Ha!

Put my mad skizz-ills to the test.

I'm all over it.

Hey, hey! Make it good, kid.

And laying 50 biscuits on you.

Hey, big Ernie! Ho ho! It's fu!

I need to make a bet.

Give him dragon fire.

Taste my dragon breath, dirtball.

Incoming!

Aah! Aah!

Sorry! My bad, guys!

Whoa! Watch it!

Hot cheeks! Hot cheeks!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Ahh...

Dragon.

Huh?

Oh, come on. Dragon up.

Oh! Dragon up!

Oh! Now would be nice!

Say good-bye, dragon!

Whoa! Unh!

Ha ha! Is that all you got, huntsman?

'Cause I'm about to come over there and--

How was that, huntsmaster?

Very nice, huntsgirl.

Your training has served you well.

Oh...

Hyah!

What's a nice girl like you doing

hunting unicorns?

What's a nice guy like you

doing outside in his undies?

Huh? Oh! Well, I--

You have a golden opportunity

to slay your first dragon.

Finish him!

With pleasure.

Aah!

This is not over, dragon!

Ah, tough break, kid.

Almost as bad as when you tangled

with those mountain trolls last week.

Aah! Ow! Ooh! Ow!

Or the week before that,

when you took on the giants?

Oh! Oh!

Or the week before that,

when those field pixies tossed you a beatin'.

Aah! Oh! Unh!

Young dragon, you must learn

that smack daddy does not come in a can.

Tomorrow, we step up your training.

Be on rooftop right after school.

Ahh, ok. I'll be there, grandpa.

Which brings us to the topic of dragons.

Now, if you'll turn to chapter 237

of my groundbreaking yet unpublished 1984 thesis

entitled mythobiology: A scientific study

of the magical creatures among us,

you'll see that I describe dragons

as an evolutionary offshoot of the dinosaurs.

Thus, what can we conclude

about the size of a dragon's brain?

Mr. Long!

Uh, well, um, I would conclude

that dragons have very large brains.

I mean, they'd probably be pretty smart and cool.

We can assume that a dragon's brain

is about-- About the size of a pea.

Maybe a walnut.

But I thought--

Not with the-- Quiet.

It's certain to be on your final examination.

Aw, man.

Hey, yo, Mr. Rot--

Yeah. Professor rotwood.

This is mythology class up in here, right?

So, how can you know

about the size of a dragon's brain?

I mean, elves, unicorns?

That stuff isn't even really real, yo.

Heh. Yo, yo. Yes, well, you know,

this is certainly the prevailing belief now,

isn't it, you know?

However, some great minds

have devoted the bulk of their careers

and indeed their lives to proving otherwise!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, you know, of course,

this--this kind of academic courage, you know,

doesn't, you know, come without a price, of course.

Not unlike being ridiculed by one's colleagues!

From every respectable educational institution

in the world!

Or even being--help me--

Or even being reduced to teaching

in the public schools!

Oh, okey-dokey.

Class dismissed.

Trixie: Hey, yo, Jake! Dude.

What's crack-alatin', baby?

Yo, what's up, Trixie? Spud?

We cruisin' over to Washington park

we gonna shred some serious asphalt.

Last time we hit that place, spud got a concussion.

Ha ha! No way!

That was totally a case

of subcutaneous occipital trauma.

No worries, bro.

Yeah, whatever.

So, what up? You in or are you in?

Oh, I wish, Trixie,

but I gotta work at my grandpa's shop today.

Again?! Aw, man. That's, like, the--