Desperate Housewives

Previously on "Desperate Housewives"...

I'm done feeling sorry for myself.

Lynette made an announcement.

I need to start dating again.

- But her first attempt... - Oh, the salmon looks good.

At a steak house?

Was a disaster.

The stress of covering up a crime...

You told us that as long as we trusted each other,

everything would be fine. You're on your own!

Drove a wedge between Bree and her friends...

A night out is exactly what you need to lift your spirits.

Leading her back to an old addiction

and down at very dangerous path.

Being in love can bring out the worst in people.

They may become stingy...

Or hostile...

Or simply indifferent.

But in the beginning when love is still a promise,

people bring their best to the table.

Here's to second chances.

Oh, here's to you for giving me a second chance.

I really... didn't expect you to be so nice on the phone.

I guess you were charmed by my groveling.

But now I'm kind of in a pickle.

I spent the last week complaining

about the crazy bitch I went out with.

Now I have to go back and tell everyone

this is one of the best dates of my life.

Aw, that's so sweet.

Ah, not so fast. We haven't had dessert yet.

We still could blow it.

Oh. I hadn't thought of that.

Well... how about we get outta here?

We could have dessert at my place.

That sounds great.

So I have half an apple pie.

I've got some of those little pudding cups,

and I think there are some ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.

Oh.

Come on. Who can resist a pudding cup?

No, I-it's just...

I didn't realize that you actually invited me over here

for... dessert.

Oh. Dessert.

You thought I meant...

Sex.

Right. That's... why you ran all those red lights.

I figured you had a sweet tooth.

Yeah.

So just the three choices?

I think so.

Don't get me wrong. I love dessert... both kinds.

It's just so soon,

and it's only our second date.

Only the first one that's gone well...

I get it. No problem.

Plus there's a certain... Amount of prep work involved

that I would have done had I known

we were thinking of... and I didn't make my bed,

and there are no clean towels.

I misunderstood.

And now I've made you feel uncomfortable.

- I'm so sorry. - No.

We had a great night.

Yes.

I look forward to doing it again.

Oh, yes. Sounds good.

Okay.

Just... please don't think that this means

I never wanna have sex with you, 'cause you're great,

and... and sex is great. I love sex.

I always have. I was a total whore in college.

All right, well, I guess this is good night, then.

Okay. Good night.

Yes, the promise of love can bring out the best in us...

Unless we find that we're a little out of practice.

After a disaster,

every housewife has her own way of coping.

Some turn to drink...

Some turn to sweets...

And some turn to the people they trust the most.

So then I said I'd love to have sex with him,

but I'm not sure I'm ready yet, and now we're going to have

this awkward thing hanging over us.

Nobody expects you to hop right into bed with someone new.

Why not? Tom did.

I'm just trying to motivate her.

To do what?

Have random sex with the first guy she meets?

You don't wanna be that girl.

Yeah, because that sounds like too much fun.

Susan, Lynette is pushing 50.

With a very long stick.

Point is, she should be out there getting some

while she's still limber enough to enjoy it.

Are you supposed to be on my side here?

Of course.

First things first... do you really like this guy?

Yeah, I think I do.

Then what's the problem?

Well, for starters, I'm a little rusty.

It's been a while.

The last guy who saw me naked

told me not to wait so long between pap smears.

Oh.

Okay, you're putting too much pressure on yourself,

and if you really like this guy,

you should take it slow.

Yeah, but not too slow.

You're starting a new relationship,

and sex is a big part of it.

You don't buy a car without giving it a test drive.

So drive this guy, Lynette. Drive him hard.

So... how much longer is Carlos gonna be in rehab?

141/2 days.

I don't know. The first time with somebody

is always awkward and weird.

And exciting and great.

Come on. In 20 years of marriage,

you never fantasized about being with someone else.

Constantly. Sometimes during.

Well, here's your chance.

Huh. I guess this is the upside

to having your marriage collapse.

Okay. I just have to figure out how to make my first move.

I know who could give you some tips.

Oh, my God. Is that another one?

I know. What happened to the blond guy from last week?

Blond guy? The guy I saw had dark hair and a sports car.

The guy I saw drove a motorcycle.

What is that, five guys in a week?

Is she starting a basketball team?

Should we be worried about her?

After the way she treated us, unh-unh.

She's not our problem anymore.

Who are these women staring at us?

Nobody I know.

Juanita, why do you insist on giving out Valentine cupcakes

when I bought you a box of perfectly good cards?

Store-bought cards are lame.

Who cares? I could be watching TV right now

instead of trying to cram the name "Harrison"

onto a cupcake.

I wish daddy was here. He always helps me with stuff.

You really miss him, huh?

Yeah. Why'd he have to go to stupid Europe, anyway?

Well, you know, business trips are very important.

That's why they call them... Business trips.

But he's never been gone this long.

It feels like forever.

I know, but when he gets home,

everything's gonna be great again.

Do you have any more of those sprinkles?

You're spending a lot of time on that one cupcake.

Is it for someone special?

No, it's for nobody.

Juanita, what's his name?

He doesn't have a name.

Ha! So you admit he exists.

Fine.

His name is Ryan Vayo.

He's so cool. He can dislocate his shoulder

so it looks like he was in a car accident.

Mm. You and me... we go for the bad boys.

So I just want it to be special. Do you think that's dumb?

No. I think you need more candy hearts.

Hey, I've been, uh, I've been meaning to ask.

Do we have any cereal?

It's for Julie.

For the rest of her life?

When she was a kid,

our favorite thing was to have cereal dinner.

But I couldn't remember her favorite, so I got 'em all.

I can't believe it's been six months

since she's been home.

Yeah. Why the visit?

I think she just misses her mom.

She sounded a little blue on the phone.

Well, we should think of some stuff to cheer her up.

Way ahead of you.

We are gonna do all the things

she loved to do when she was a kid.

Oh, hey. Do we still have that trampoline in the garage?

She would jump on that thing for hours.

I would be up in my room, reading,

and her head would keep popping up in the window.

"Hi, mom. Hi, mom. Hi, mom."

- Hi, mom. - Oh! Julie.

Hi. Hey, Mike.

Hey, kiddo. You look great.

Oh, you do. You look wonderful.

Can I get you something?

Uh, yeah, sure, some water.

- Oh. - Here.

We are gonna have so much fun this week.

I thought we'd start at the amusement park

with some high-risk roller coastering.

Uh... Susan?

And then I am gonna take you