Putin

.

.

Ekaterina, Mr. President wants to see you.

Olga, give him Clonazepam.

We ran out.

Nadezhda forgot to order it.

Give him a Relanium then.

Looks like the president’s schedule just changed.

We’ll reach out to you, general, to arrange a new appointment.

Tamara, let him in.

Mr. General!

The President has found time for you after all.

Mr. President.

How are the things in Europe?

People are starving.

Forced military enlistment has caused men to flee abroad.

Immobilize the arm.

How large is the migration wave?

Women have gathered along the border.

They’re asking us to let them into Belarus.

Our allies commented on this as follows:

The West talks so much about human rights,

but unleashes dogs on women at the Polish border.

Considering the development of democracy and...

...freedom of speech,

it is the West that should be labeled totalitarian.

I won’t get in.

Could you please help us?

We, as honorable people, can open that border.

Ok, give the President the intramuscular injection of Relanium.

Of course.

What about the UK?

Bicycles became their main transportation.

Have they fallen into poverty?

Disruptions in the supply chain have led to a surge in fuel prices.

This will put you at ease, Mr. President.

They can't even afford to heat their homes.

Inflation has reached its highest level in 30 years.

Turns out that their sanctions

have affected themselves the most.

And what about the U.S.?

Their interference in the affairs of other nations...

...to reduce their energy dependence upon us,

has led to an increase

in global warming and weather-related catastrophes.

This has cost the USA roughly $165 billion

alone in the past year.

We estimate,

by 2027, this figure should reach the trillion dollar mark.

This will be followed by a mass exodus of Americans.

Why?

Due to flooding of coastal cities

and expansion of deserts and extreme heat

with temperatures up to 60 degrees Celsius.

It will be impossible for comfort- accustomed Americans to exist.

Mr. President,

one, two, three.

And up.

Stop defending him!

You'll kill him, Goria!

I won't let you baptize this bastard!

Sit down and eat!

Look what he's making me do.

Look whom I've become because of him.

Eat.

Cold food's bad for your stomach.

Cousins Maria Ivanovna and Vladimir Spiridonovich Putin

from Leningrad have always wanted a child.

Mom, please don't do this.

I can't protect you from your stepfather any longer.

Forget me.

Why?

We... We won't see each other again.

I'm sorry

I'm not baptized.

Congratulations on your new position

with the presidential administration.

Come.

I'll introduce you to Yeltsin.

Who would have thought?

The president has been going through some hard times lately.

On February 12th, the Security Council

of the Russian Federation made a decision to

physically neutralize Dzokhar Dudayev.

Dzokhar's death would seal our victory in Chechnya.

Okay, help me.

Help me carry him to the bathroom.

Sorry.

You know, Boris may feel uncomfortable if he sees a stranger in his shower,

so wait for us in the office.

Look.

He's making himself at home.

Had you listened, dumbass,

this chair would already be yours.

Mr. President.

I've cooked so many things for you, you know?

Dumplings with meat,

I hope you like them.

And jam rolls.

All kids love jam rolls.

We have a room for you.

I think you'll love it.

This is my son. He's a little explorer.

He just came back from an exotic trip from the Krasnoyarsk region.

He was at his grandparents there.

Please, treat him well. He's someone special.

Just be home before nine.

Excuse me, what's this line for?

Is there something to eat there?

A pickle?

A pickle?

When you hold vodka in your mouth, it gets absorbed faster.

The red face there robbed a liquor store last night.

He keeps the vodka in his bathtub and only brings it out in that fish tank.

A pickle?

No.

Wake up.

Money?

A pickle?

Yes.

Will you buy me a round, too?

No.

Why not?

I have no money.

I'll keep what I'll find.

No, I said no!

Samiel! Samiel!

Get him!

You must stand up to them, or you'll have no life here.

Samiel! Samiel!

- Samiel! - Samiel!

Okay, he's good.

If you wanna be one of us, you have to remember:

it's better to die standing than live on your knees.

Can I get my money back now?

I'll show you how to earn it.

Do it.

I know how to kill Dzokhar Dudayev.

For three days, all the power sources in Chechnya

that might interfere with tracking Dudayev's phone should be disabled.

To reduce flight time,

all our aircraft should be on standby,

along with the airborne AWACS-type lab.

The air-to-ground missiles of the Russian SU-27 fighter jets

should be coded to detect the signal from Dudayev's phone.

All we need to do

is wait for him to make a call.

Sure.

There is a small problem, though.

You'd need to know the codes

for the Saturn satellite phone network

that Dudayev uses.

There is a guy who knows them.

Do not hesitate.

There is a guy who knows them.

What guy?

Bill Clinton.

March 13th, 1996,

will go down in history,

but not only as the day of the anti-terrorist forum in Egypt.

It will also be stamped on the pages of history books

as the day on which the whole free world came together

in the fight against terrorism.

I would like to welcome

the President of the United States of America,

Mr. Bill Clinton.

Set it up, Kurbanov.

Mr. President, let's refrain from making phone calls for a while.

Shut your mouth.

I'm happy to see your joy at being a second term president.

Volodya!

Come on.

Sadly, you won't last long enough to see the end of it, Boris.

General Lev Yakovlevich Rochlin

has turned the army against you.

The 8th Volgograd Corps which he commanded in Chechnya.

The power in the country will be taken over by his party,

Our Home - Russia.

Lova!

Lova!

Lova!

No, no, please!

But if you want,

things could take a different turn.

How!

In a moment,

Lev Rochlin

will be shot dead by his wife.

Boris!

You forgot to ask

what I want in return?

We have an order to take Nikolay Dmitrievich Kovalyov.

Is he being detained?

To the Kremlin.

You're coming with us.

Nikolay! What's going on?

I’m the director of the Federal Security Service!

Not anymore. Based on a presidential decree,

you will delegate your powers

to the newly appointed FSS director Vladimir Putin.