Metalocalypse

I am a gear in the wheel of the clock. I fear not my mortality.

Approach us.

Everything to your liking, my lords?

Are you aware of the fate of our last restaurant helicopter chef?

- His face was... - His face was smashed!

Yes, I know.

He slipped his hand and face on the hovercraft.

Hovercraft.

- Hov... - Homo...

- Hovercraft. - Hold me.

Hovercraft.

Hovercraft.

They're trying to tell you the guy got his face smashed into a hovercraft.

That's what they're trying to tell you.

- Yes, I know. - And then, from the sorrow...

- He blow his brain in. - He blow his brain out.

- Whatever. - Out.

It'd make a great album cover.

Yeah, all of our chefs, they has died a horrible death.

What of that's do you think?

I would rather have my brains scooped out...

with a melon baller than to miss the opportunity...

to deliver the various cheese snacks to my beloved Dethklok.

Sorry, we are chewing through a few thousand doves up here.

Don't worry, these rotors will grind them into paste in no time.

From the prime minister of Norway.

There are several cases. The finest wine.

No! We never drink before a show. Never!

- I'll have just a little drink. - Me, too.

- But... - Me, too.

Me, too.

Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok

Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok

Do anything for Dethklok

Dethklok, Dethklok Dethklok, Dethklok

I'll teach you

Who rock

Dethklok! Dethklok!

Skwisgaar Skwigelf Taller than a tree

Toki Wartooth Not a bumble bee

William Murderface Murderface, Murderface

Pickles the Drummer Doodily doo

Ding-dong Doodily doodily doo

Nathan Explosion

Live from Batsfjord, Norway...

where over 300,000 fans have travelled to the Arctic Circle...

to see the legendary metal band, Dethklok, perform just one song.

Surprisingly the song itself is a jingle. A coffee jingle.

Never before have so many people travelled so far for such a short song.

A jingle for international coffee moguls, the Duncan Hills Coffee corporation.

Is Dethklok selling out? "No!"

Says band front man, Nathan Explosion.

We're here to make coffee metal. We will make everything metal.

Blacker than the blackest black times infinity.

They're called pain waivers.

Fans are literally signing their life away...

releasing Dethklok from any and all liability.

My eye got tore out and force fed to me at a show.

Dethklok rules!

In London, some dude chopped off my fingers and threw 'em up onstage.

Murderface rolled them up and smoked them!

Murderface!

Dark clouds have rolled in and static electricity is in the air.

Wait! Wait! Wait a minute!

It's Dethklok! It's Dethklok!

Dethklok rolling.

Do you folks like coffee?

Real coffee from the hills of Columbia?

Duncan Hills will wake you

From a thousand deaths

A cup of blackened blood

You're dying for a cup

Guatemalan blend

Ethiopian

French Vanilla Roast

You're dying for a cup

Prepare for ultimate flavor

You're gonna get some now

And scream for your cream

Duncan Hills, Duncan Hills Duncan Hills coffee

As you can see, Dethklok is no laughing matter.

They're the world's greatest cultural force.

In the short time since the Duncan Hills coffee jingle Batsfjord Massacre Fest...

every other coffee company has been obliterated.

- Completely blown out of the water. - Freaks.

These freaks, as you call them, are currently worth billions.

Gentlemen...

Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree.

Toki Wartooth, not a bumble bee.

William Murderface, Murderface, Murderface.

Pickles the Drummer, doodily doo.

Ding-dong, doodily doodily doo.

Nathan Explosion.

I'm afraid that's all we know, gentlemen.

I will remind you again of the Sumerian artifacts.