Siva (சிவா)

Moaning.

Moaning.

Dog whine.

Oh, oh, ouch.

It's again

Don't be upset for his feel, you know what I mean?

Yeah, totally.

Hey cousin.

Oh, hey guys.

Surprise to see you in the couch, Jeff

Not.

Oh hey, aren't you supposed to be in a date?

We just were. We went to the range.

Donnie made me shoot his gun.

At first, I was scared,

but then I was grateful he forced me to do it.

- Mm. - Cool.

All right, well, I'm late

for my night watch shift, so, uh...

Call me after your wife goes to sleep.

Bye.

Ooh, come to Mommy.

Does Donnie still not know you smoke weed?

Of course he doesn't.

I can't implicate Donnie.

He's an officer of the law.

No, he's not.

He runs a volunteer neighborhood watch.

You're just a perma-hater

'cause you haven't gotten laid since high school.

Just let me put you on OkCupid.

No, I hate that it's the only way people meet nowadays.

You know, I was born in the wrong decade.

- Born in the wrong decade. - I know.

- Well, I was. - I hate when you say that.

You know what? Let me... let me...

Um, I'll open my mail, and I got to close my...

Jeff!

This is the third time.

This is the third computer you've broken.

What is wrong with you?

Hey, I'm sorry!

It's disgusting.

It's not my fault everything's shitty

and made in sweatshops nowadays

and breaks if a drop of jizz hits it.

Aim, Jeff, or do it away from my computer.

I can't get off without hd porn, Sharee.

It's the only good thing about 2016.

Ew. Please, stop.

And I'm not alone in that, you know.

Did you eat my buffalo chicken bites?

- No. - Well, now you owe me

Buffalo chicken bites, you bitch.

Okay. Chill out.

I'll go to wawa and buy you new bites right now.

Yeah, we will.

But I'm too high to drive.

- Watch out! - Hey!

- Holy shit! - Holy shit! Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!

- And then these two people... - They just came out of the sky.

I mean, they fell, like, smack down on the ground.

They landed... There was all this smoke,

- and they just materialized - out of thin air.

- And they just appeared. - I mean, it was unbelievable.

- It was, like, - extraterrestrial.

Look, I'm gonna write down,

"one white male killed, jaywalking."

Again, there was also a black woman.

And they weren't jaywalking.

They literally appeared out of the sky.

Are you high?

- Definitely jaywalking, yeah. - They were jaywalking.

We're done. Get out of here.

- God, okay. - Okay, Jesus.

Whoa.

Oh, my god.

Hey, hey! Oh, hey.

I found a clue!

- This is from the people. - Evidence!

I said get out of here!

- Jesus! - Jesus Christ.

Whoa.

Looks like Chinese.

I have an app that translates languages in real time.

Look.

Huh, "pencil case."

It was supposed to say "destiny."

I'm gonna kill that bitch.

Dude, just tell people it says "destiny."

No one's gonna know.

It said "destiny" in the catalog.

You know what?

Actually, why don't you just get it removed?

I'm just gonna tell people it's "destiny."

Why are you being aggressive?

I just gave you that idea.

It meant something to me.

Well...

And now it's meaningless.

No, it means "pencil case."

Okay, just look.

"Time traveling bong."

"Smoke once to travel.

Smoke again to return."

You don't think...

That this bong we found on the street

is a functioning time machine?

No, Jeff.

I'm an American citizen. I'm not an idiot.

We got to try it.

Sure, yeah, right.

It's not real, so yeah, fine.

- Great. - That's fine.

Great.

You're gonna feel like a real schmuck pussy

if it doesn't work, so...

I'm not gonna feel like a schmuck pussy

if this doesn't make us time travel.

Fine. Go.

- Oh. - Ah!

Oh. Wow!

Oh, my god!

- What is this? - Oh, oh, what is this shit?

There's a footprint.

I think it's a dinosaur.

Ah! Oh!

- Oh, it's real. - Oh, my god!

It's real.

- Oh, god. - Oh!

- That was insane! - Oh, my god.

I have to call Donnie.

What? No!

No, no, you can't call Donnie.

He's just gonna call the FBI

so he can get a key to the city or some shit.

We should call the FBI or... or NASA or the police or...

I don't know. We shouldn't have this.

What are you doing?

Are you kidding? I'm going again.

Sharee, that was the coolest 12 seconds of our lives.

Sorry, Jeff.

I have a boyfriend, and I have a job.

What, you're not gonna time travel

because of your shift at hertz rent-a-car?

Sharee, we have to. Think about it.

Anything would be better than the twenty-teens.

We could go anywhere!

We could see... King tut, you know?

I don't care!

We could have so much fun, Sharee, like we used to have.

Listen, if you don't go, I'm gonna go,

and then you're gonna miss out,

like that time you blacked out when you were at karaoke

and Britney Spears came in and they didn't wake you up.

Don't even bring that up.

That is so dick of you to bring that up!

I'm just saying, you're gonna miss out big-time.

And we can come right back, right?

Yes, we can come right back,

and it's as if no time has passed.

Okay, okay.

- Okay, I'm in. - Yes! Yes!

I'm in, as long as we come right back.

Yes. I promise.

Maybe I'll call hertz rent-a-car first,

just let them know I'm not coming in tomorrow.

You're gonna be back before tomorrow.

And even if you weren't, who cares, Sharee?

It's hertz rent-a-car.

It's gonna be really fun. It's gonna be safe.

It's gonna be safe and chill.

Just first let me prepare.

Let me prepare.

Ah.

Perfect.

Okay, so how does this work?

Like, why'd we just go to Dino times?

I saw "Jurassic world" last week.

It must have been on my mind. Oh.

You know, like, in the folds of my brain?

Maybe if we visualize where we want to go,

we'll go there.

Oh, my god.

You know where I'd love to go?

Old Hollywood.

It is so glamorous.

I feel like I'd fit right in.

Sure.

Okay, old Hollywood.

Old Hollywood.

- Old Hollywood. - Old Hollywood.

- Old... - Old Hollywood.

Old Hollywood.

Whoa.

Ew. This isn't old Hollywood.

Witch! Witchcraft!

No, no, no, no, no!

Good... good sire,