To Jennifer

Hey, Jennifer.

I'm making you this video, and I know what you're thinking.

You're watching it, and you're thinking why?

Why, why is he making me this video?

And it's because,

it's because, Baby, I know.

I know you've been cheating on me.

So, I got your text.

Come over and finish what we started last night.

Hey, Dude, it's not really.

There.

Can she see it? Can she see it?

It's kind of out of focus.

We're gonna have to, uh.

Know what, we'll put it in post.

Yeah, we're gonna have to put it in in post.

I'll cut this video together for you, Jennifer.

Because, I want you to know

that I know...

We're gonna go over,

we're gonna go over to your place tonight, and

we're gonna stake it out.

And, we're gonna catch you

in the act, so that you know

that it wasn't my fault that any of his happened, Jennifer.

That any of this stuff that's about to happen

happened, it's your fault.

Because you can't be a cheating whore and

have no repercussions, Jen, Baby, come on.

So... This video's for you, and

I think you're gonna like it.

And through the magic of editing,

here's your fucking text message.

So, is the light on?

It's on.

So, Jennifer, I bet you're wondering.

Get that shit outta my face, Dude.

Come on, Steve, just look at the camera for a sec.

This is my cousin, Steven.

Fucking woke me up at like four in the morning, Dude,

to film some stupid little fucking video for you.

Steve, this is important.

The fucking light is in my fucking face, Man.

We need to see you.

So this is Steve.

Steve is gonna help me catch you in the act, Jen.

He's gonna be filming us.

Yeah, I am.

He's gonna be filming us, and we're gonna wait.

It is so cold, Man.

We're gonna wait all night.

In the cold.

Until... Until we find you.

Well we gotta fucking fly back

to fucking Bumfuck, where you fucking live.

Well, that's right, Jen.

Steve's gonna hop on a plane with me.

And we're gonna go back.

We're gonna go back to catch you, both of us.

Yeah, we are.

And the whole world is gonna know

that you shouldn't be a skanky ho,

because you got caught.

Yeah.

Fuck, Dude, it's cold as fuck.

Go inside?

Yeah.

I don't know if you can see me.

So, um, I just,

I just booked our flights.

And we're coming back.

And I'm listening to the song that I wrote for, for you.

And, you know, I just,

I guess it's making me realize that, um,

that maybe I always cared more for you

than you did for me.

It's not a surprise, I guess.

It's not a surprise that

you would do something like this.

Joey, you gotta turn the shit off, Dude.

Sorry, Man, sorry. Sorry.

Go to bed, Man.

I'm going, I'm going.

You know, I know I was kind of asleep, Jennifer, but, um,

you know, I'm trying to be strong here.

I really am, but this is,

this is pretty messed up.

And, um, you know, I just, I really hope

that this just ends well and that there's,

it's just a misunderstanding.

Because,

I don't know, I don't know what I'd do without you.

Okay.

I don't know.

Joey, Joey.

Joey.

What?

Wake up, Man.

Wake up, Bro.

Come on.

Stop, Man.

Why are you so sleepy, Dude?

Stop it, Man.

Didn't you sleep last night, Dude?

Yeah, I slept last night.

Yeah.

Why you poke me, Man?

Gosh, you know I hate flying, Man.

Yeah, well, we gotta get boarding soon, Man.

I'm just trying to wake you up.

Do you wanna get something to eat or drink or something?

Yeah.

Want some coffee?

Yeah.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is our final boarding

call for Flight 2430, Dallas Fort Worth.

All passengers with boarding cards must now proceed

to 47B for final boarding.

That's us, Man.

All right, let's go.

Dude, turn it off, turn it off.

Turn it off, turn it off.

Turn that thing off.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Man.

Aw, Little Joey's scared. Look at his hands.

It's not funny. Just shut up, Man.

Shut up.

Look, he's so scared.

We're gonna take off, he's so scared.

Shut up.

You know the plane's gonna crash, Joey.

Turn it, turn it off.

I'm not turning it off. You're scared.

Fuck, Man.

Look...

Hey, Man, the plane's gonna crash.

The plane's gonna crash.

You're making me believe that. Stop it.

Just stop saying it. No we're not.

Oh no.

Oh my gosh.

Jesus Christ, Man.

You can't be in there right now.

You need to go back to your seat.

Just leave me alone.

Fuck, what the fuck is this bitch doing?

Don't talk to me like that.

Just leave me alone.

I'm fine in here. Just go away!

I just need a second.

Open the door, or I'll get the Air Marshal.

No, this plane is gonna go down.

I know it, I know the plane's gonna go down.

Air Marshal!

So,

Joey had a panic attack

because of the plane as well as I guess, um,

the things that are going on with Jennifer.

And we had to take him to the ER.

I wanna get outta here, Man.

It's actually kinda funny.

It's not funny.

He was like, I'm dying, I'm dying,

and then we brought him here.

It's not funny.

The airport people almost arrested me.

We got off the plane, and he had a panic attack.

It was hilarious.

I guess it's jet lag at its finest, right?

Dude, let's just skip that.

We need to go, we need to get home now,

so let's just get outta here.

Well, we gotta wait for them to release you.

All right.

We'll check back when they release him.

All right.

Don't put that in the video to Jennifer, Dude.

That's not going in.

You see what you do to him, Jen?

Four, fucking, days later.

Fuck.

Dude, I'm gonna call Martin over.

No, Man, no.

I already fucking called him, Dude.

Seriously, he's gonna be here soon.

Okay, well where is he?

Just let me call him then.

No, Bro, like seriously.

I'm sorry, like, you kinda fucked up.

Like I already told him they released you.

It's cool. You don't need to call him.

This whole situation's so fucked up, Man.

Yeah, well, you shouldn't have fucking been all

like Joey Bin Laden up in there,

and fucking getting us put on a fucking no fly list.

I told that you that I don't like flying.

I told you.

I might even be on a fucking no fly list.

Thanks for that, Bro, seriously.

Next time, we'll just take like a train or something.