3rd Rock from the Sun

- We mustn't do this here. - Yes, we must do it.

- We can't! - We can. I measured.

Oh! I have an early class tomorrow.

You hear what she said, Dick?

She's got an early class tomorrow.

Will you be quiet?

Can't you see I'm trying to get to second base here?

Things have really changed since she entered the picture.

Now we even have to act like humans when we're by ourselves.

She's like that Yoko woman

who ruined her husband's band.

Oh, yeah.

You remember that episode where she convinced Ricky

that she could play the bongos?

This bites.

So does she.

What?

The crust in your eyes, it's still there.

Oh, no! No, don't touch it.

It's beautiful.

My god, you're a morning person.

No.

No, I'm a Mary person.

Oh! Oh, that's so sweet.

I had the strangest dream that your brother Harry

was curled up at our feet in the middle of the night.

It won't happen again.

- I'll finish dressing. - Can I help you?

No.

Do you mind?

I am trying to sleep.

- She slept over again? - Slept? No.

Well, eventually, but I think the innuendo

is delightfully clear.

Don't you see what's going on here? She hogs the bathroom.

She leaves stuff in the sink for me to wash.

And last night she forced us to watch

an a&e biography on Susan saint James.

- What's your point, lieutenant? - You let in an outsider.

- She's getting in the way of this mission. - I'm giving you

an opportunity to observe her up close.

Well, she's no Jo Anne worley,

but quarters to her.

Hello, Tommy.

I really want the two of us to be friends.

Don't you have any friends of your own?

You're probably very confused

about what's going on between your father and me.

No, not really. I have excellent hearing.

I just want you to know that your father and I

- are going to be seeing a lot more of each other. - Oh, wow.

How much could possibly be left?

Well, gotta go. See you at the office.

I have an idea. Why don't I ride with you?

I think it would be a better idea

if we rode separately, if you know what I mean.

- I don't know what you mean. - People might start thinking

that we're sleeping together.

- What?! - We are.

We are, I swear.

Why can't you two just ride together?

- I need the car to go shopping. - I need a ride downtown.

It's just not a good idea.

- Why not? - This is exactly what I was talking about.

- She has a car... - It's really none of our business...

you know what?!

I don't want to start a fight here.

It's okay for you to ride with me today.

- Yes! - Come on.

What's this?

I won. I won $150!

You don't understand, lady.

You owe us $150.

Oh, I see. So you lure me down here to collect my prize.

Then you pull the old bait and switch.

- I'll take care of this.

Sally?

Hello, Don. It's been a long time.

I thought you walked out of my life for good.

I'm back. I ran into trouble out there in the city.

- The city is full of trouble. - I found this on my car.

Parked in a handicap zone.

I'm sure you had a good reason.

Yes. It was the closest spot to the store.

Works for me.

- Consider this taken care of. - Just like that?

Just like that.

Wow.

Sally, can I take you out tonight?

'Kay.

- No. Stop it. - We're not in the office.

- Behave yourself. - Let's go back in the car.

- No. - Not in the car, not in the bar,

not in the house, not up your blouse.

I cannot touch you here or there. I cannot touch you anywhere.

Judith! Father rice.

- Hello, Dr. Albright. - Dr. Solomon and I

just ran into each other on the way in.

Dr. Suter.

- What? - I said, Dr. Suter!

- You again! - Do you need any help?

Get away from me.

Good for you! Stay independent!

Dick, rumor has it

that you and a certain anthropology professor

are, uh... going at it pretty good.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, right.

- I gotta get me an anvil.

Harry, I need a ride.

- No. - You know, I outrank you.

Oh. Well, in that case, no, sir.

Please? Just give me a ride.

Look, come on. Can't you see that I'm busy?

What, is it too much to ask

for a little time for Harry?

I'll tell you what.

If the roadrunner wins this next one, you take me.

But if he doesn't, I'll never ask you again.

Okay, you're on.

I've seen this next scheme before,

and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.

Let's go.

- Dick: you're wrong. - Judith: I'm right.

- You're wrong. - I'm not wrong.

You're wrong about that, too.

There's no way to observe a society without intruding.

- One can't help but leave footprints. - Of course not.

I've seen your bipedal gait.

So let me get this straight.

You're saying that you could drop right out of the sky

into some strange culture and walk amongst them unnoticed?

Yes!

Hypothetically.

Mary, you're an anthropologist. Back me up.

I'm afraid I'd have to agree with Dr. Solomon.

Of course. What was I thinking?

You're sleeping with him.

This is a disaster, Dick. Everybody's talking about us.

Oh, we're back to that again.

You just don't understand.

I've worked hard to be taken seriously.

- There was a time when I had a reputation. - For excellence?

Well, yes,

but in a very specific category.

When I was a young professor on the fast track,

- there were things that I did. - What were you doing?

The Dean.

Is that like the Watusi?

Sometimes.

- There was this very prestigious job opening. - Did you get it?

No, I didn't get the job,

but I did get a nickname--

Dr. Mary slutbunny.

Well, there's your silver lining.

You just don't get it, do you?

When a man has an office romance, it doesn't affect his career.

But when a woman has one, no one takes her seriously.

- I don't understand. - I don't expect you to.

I need to be alone tonight.

But I'm not like that.

- I take you seriously, Dr. Slutbunny.

Sally, you look beautiful.

Oh, Don, that's just the doughnuts talking.

What you did today was really powerful.

You just snapped your fingers , and things fell into place.

Let's just keep that our little secret, shall we?

Okay.

Would you like another doughnut?

I don't know. Are you sure you can afford it?

I get 'em for free,

all except the cream-filled,

but all that will change when I make detective.

That day will come, Don.

We'll make it come.

And then...

we can eat cream-Filled

together.

One-David-niner. One-David-niner. Copy that.

2-18? 2-18.

- What is it? - It's a 2-18.

- I have to go. - Take me with you.

- I can't. - Please?

- Let's ride. - Oh, goody!

That was so exhilarating, Don.

I've never been on a raid before.