Martha Speaks

Martha Speaks with captioning is funded in part

by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting

and by a cooperative agreement

from the U.S. Department of Education's

Ready To Learn grant.

Additional funding provided by:

Chuck E. Cheese's, proud supporter of PBS Kids.

Helping children discover the fun of developing their bodies

and their minds.

PBS Kids, where a kid can be a kid.

And by contributions to your PBS station from:

* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...

* When she ate some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened was bizarre. *

On the way to Martha's stomach, the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain, and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks

* Yeah, she speaks and speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks.

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right, but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there.

* She's got a voice, she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong, but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates and... *

* ...hyperventilates!

* Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks! * Martha speaks.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen and preschoolers of all ages.

Today, we present an exhibition

of one-of-a-kind artworks for your appreciation,

a mixture of paint and canvas that can be both delightful...

...and dangerous.

The two extraordinary objects

we've chosen for you to observe today are studies

in the art of correcting your mistakes.

As you observe our paintings,

be sure to watch out for words

like "considerate" and "inconsiderate,"

"forgive" and "regret."

I'll see you at the end of the show.

Skits, go home and play with Martha.

Dogs make the janitor unhappy.

We can play later.

* J-A-N-I-T-O-R

* It's the greatest job by far. *

Ah! You're making a big mistake.

Get your hairy dog face out of here.

Or you're going to regret it.

Didn't you see the sign?

That means, "No dogs allowed."

We don't teach dogs here.

Oh, man, I just taught you what the sign means.

I regret doing that, which means I wish I hadn't done it.

Agh! Now I taught you something else.

Go away.

It's not Skits' fault he's hairy.

But it's his fault for bringing his hair here

for me to clean up. Look.

That's at least four, five dog hairs,

all extra work.

No dogs allowed!

When magma reaches the surface, we call it...

VaDINCI: Hey, kids!

Why does everyone look surprised?

What have you been talking about? Magma?

You all have that "Oh, no, magma" look

on your faces.

I like magma.

Class, get out your art supplies.

It's art time!

It's art time!

It's art time...

BC...

TD.

You look miserable.

I mean, you really look unhappy.

Art's not for me.

I make too many mistakes.

TB, there's no such thing

as making a mistake in my art class.

Then saying I make mistakes was a mistake.

See? That's why I'm miserable.

I can't help myself.

Hey, make some art.

You'll feel better.

Here's today's assignment:

I want you all to draw something you see every day.

VaDINCI: Very nice.

Thanks!

CD, did you draw simple shapes

because you're afraid of making a mistake?

No. It's exactly what I see every day:

the back of Chuck Smith's head.

I watch it six hours a day.

: Psst! Want to see my first drawing?

VaDINCI: I regret I must announce

the end of art time.

Hand in your work; I'll be hanging

these in the hall.

I'm going to get it this time, Skits.

I got it! I got it!

I'm so glad you're home.

I don't know how much longer

I could keep those two entertained.

I drew a picture of you today.

Where is it? Let me see!

Sorry, Mr. VaDinci took our art to hang in the school hall.

Where everyone will see and admire me.

Now I know why the Mona Lisa was smiling.

TD drew one that he couldn't hand in.

Show it, TD.

This is hilarious.

Hmm, that's not funny.

It looks like the back of Chuck Smith's head.

You accidentally swapped the drawings?

You gave the teacher a picture of himself

with the body of a duck to hang in the school hall?

Okay, that's funny.

What should I do?

And by that I mean, should I move

to the North Pole or to Moose Jaw?

Travel is expensive.

How much money do you have?

32 cents.

You could hide behind the sofa.

Nobody ever finds me there, and it's free.

What a dilemma.

If by "dilemma" you mean a big, big problem,

then yeah, this is a dilemma.

How do I solve it?

Here's how you solve it: go right back to Mr. VaDinci,

swap this drawing for that one, and apologize.

I'd rather hide behind the couch.

He's going to be unhappy, but just do it quickly,

the way you pull off a bandage.

This one's from last summer.

And this one's from Valentine's Day.

I peel them a little every day.

Ouch!

Ouch! Okay, that's enough for today.

Just apologize quickly.

Then we'll solve your bandage problem.

Guys, he probably went home.

: Hide!

He didn't see it yet.

There it is, underneath my Martha drawing.

Ooh! I want to see me!

Hmm?

Go in and swap the right one for the wrong one.

That'll solve your dilemma.

Miss Clusky's in there.

Oh, man, this dilemma's the size of the North Pole now,

which is where I should go.

Do you need more time?

No. I can finish this tomorrow.

If we don't get to that ball game on time,

we'll be really unhappy.

: My one big regret in life

is that I'm such a good duck artist.

Okay, they left.

Now all we have to do is walk in

and swap the art in your backpack

with the art in the red folder.

School is closed, you know.

TD just needs to get one thing.

Is that a hairy dog?

Out! Now!

I'm taking this personally!

I don't get paid extra for sweeping up

hairy dog hairs!

Can TD go in?

He's not hairy, see?

No one's allowed in while I work.

This is my alone time.

Nothing makes me as unhappy as picking up dog hair.

Hairy.

Sorry, TD.

My idea failed.

I feel miserable.

Hey, I know how to get it!

We build an exact duplicate of the school,

then tomorrow when everybody goes into the fake school,