Sweet/Vicious

Did they see us?

Just keep going.

I have a text from Tyler.

Open it up. What did he say?

You can't be serious.

Come on, it'll take our minds off our impending doom.

"What's up?"

Wow, solid question. What is up?

Well, we're in a cemetery burying your step-brother.

Cops are here. FML.

I can't say that.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Say nothing.

- Okay. - Oh, God.

No, you dense flower.

Answer by saying nothing. Type nothing.

No, I see now how that sounds confusing.

Just give me the phone.

Is that "Infinite Jest?"

There's no way he's read that whole book.

- Yes, he did. - No, he didn't.

No one's read that whole book.

David Foster Wallace didn't even read that whole book.

Out in the open.

Keep your hands where we can see them.

Um... where is the car?

!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- It's gonna be okay. - Nothing about this is okay.

Will you stop saying that?

Oh.

He was definitely dead, right?

He couldn't have, like, climbed in...

Driven my car away? Unlikely.

Did you park in a loading zone?

No.

This is a loading zone.

Then yeah.

It's clearly marked everywhere.

Okay, your tone right now is really hostile,

and I feel like you're attacking me

for something that is equally your fault.

- My fault? - We were both in the car.

I mean, you should've told me

that I was parking in a loading zone

that just kind of comes out of nowhere.

If anything, it's, like, 80% your fault.

- That math is ridiculous. - I agree.

It is ridiculous, so you should have told me

I was parking in a loading zone.

And another thing, who takes their bright pink

sorority backpack to vigilante target practice?

Wow, you know, sorry I'm not an expert.

I would've been fine had you not murdered him

with a wrench with your bare hands.

Oh, this is my fault? You got knocked out cold.

You probably would've died.

You're welcome.

Oh, also, when are we gonna talk about the fact

that your boyfriend back there is related

to the... later, got it.

Okay.

How long does it take for a body to start to smell?

Hey, Siri.

How long does it take before a body... oh.

What is wrong with you?

Me? Why don't you just call up the police and ask them?

I mean, that's basically what you're doing

by keeping a digital record of that question

on anything less than an unsigned IP proxy.

- What? - Give me your phone.

Secure network now.

Just call the tow place.

Oh, hi... yes.

You might have a car there that is an Impala.

Yes, that's correct.

That's great.

We can come and pick it up.

Oh, it's not there?

Oh, could you give me the address?

140 Union Avenue.

Okay, that's great.

Oh, and how much is that going to be?

Um... okay, great.

Thank you.

It's going to be $2,000.

How can it possibly be that expensive?

You know, I should just call my dad now and just tell him

- that I'm going to jail. - Whoa, whoa.

Don't go looking up the recipe for toilet wine yet.

I...I can cover this.

Sorry. Just me.

Hey, where you been? I've been so worried.

I've been calling and texting.

I'm sorry, we're not open yet.

- Oh, she's with me. - Oh?

New friend.

What kind of friend?

Not that kind.

- I... - She's my tutor.

What in God's name are you doing?

My car got towed. I need some of my bud fund.

Ophelia, what if someone tries to buy one of these albums?

Yes, I see what you did there.

Is everything okay?

O, I've never seen you this rattled about

your car being towed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm... I'm good.

Didn't sleep much. Feeling cool. Feeling alive.

Did you fall asleep working again?

Yeah, I was prepping for my Law Journal interview.

Finished writing my essay last night.

Wrote about the Darlington Slasher case from '82.

Figured it couldn't hurt

to throw some school history in there.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, I'm gonna need to take all of this.

No.

O, I said no.

I will pay you back. I swear.

So, you are gonna crush that meeting today.

See you later.

It was nice to meet you.

Even with the register cash, we're still 500 short.

How is this store still in business?

I mean, I guess that we could use the sorority petty cash.

We have, like, $1,000 at my house.

- Oh, like a drug fund? - No, no, it's for necessities.

Like, supplies for parties. That kind of thing.

Yeah, drug fund.

Yeah, let's go get that.

Oh, baby. So good.

- Was that Jules's room? - I don't know.

Come on. I'm so close.

No, I think it was her.

You know, she didn't come home last night,

and I just need to see if it's her.

I'm worried, you know?

I'm sorry. I'll be back.

Fine, but bring that fine ass back to bed ASAP.

Okay.

I'm not done with you.

Hey, Jules.

I'm going to need all of that money back tonight.

Sure thing.

Are you sure this is the right way?

Wait.

No way.

Okay, all right, so what's the... what's the plan here?

Just let me handle it.

- Jules. - Hi.

What can I do for you, doll?

My friend over there?

She got her car towed.

Give me just a minute, girls.

Great.

What the balls is going on right now?

Why are you Princess Police?

My dad is a cop.

I'm sorry, my brain just shorted out a little.

Your... your father is a police cop?

Yeah, well, technically he's a sheriff,

but he made friends with Ballard when I moved to college

and told him to watch out for me.

My dad's a little bit overprotective.

Oh, fantastic.

Really, I didn't think this was gonna get any worse than murder.

Thank you for proving my thesis wrong.

Can you not say murder in this police station?

You two are in big trouble.

20 outstanding parking tickets?

Yep. That's on me.

That explains why it's so pricey.

Hello, I'm Ophelia Mayer, automobile owner.

Yeah, so we have the cash.

If we could just get the car and leave,

we will... get the car and leave.

That sounds like a plan, ladies.

So it's the 2,000 quoted

plus an additional 200 for processing.

- We only have the 2,000. - Unfortunately,

I can't bring you the car until everything's paid up.

I have cash in the car.

But, Jules, I bet if you asked the boss personally,

he'd let it slide this once.

Of course.

No, Mom.

I know, but I can't sit here anymore.

I keep playing it back in my head.

It's like I'm watching it like it didn't happen to me.

I didn't even want to go to that party.

I feel so helpless, Mom.

I'll call you back a little later.

I love you too.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

Ophelia Mayer.

Hailey McMahon.

Look, I'm sorry.

I...I've been here all morning,

and I still haven't filed my complaint.