Kendra and Beth

Beth?

Is that you?

Yeah, Mom.

Get my lo mein?

Yeah, Mom.

You tell 'em to put an extra soy sauce packet?

They do every night.

My AcuRite says the real feel is negative 13.

Oh, yeah?

Did you have a good day?

I guess.

Slept a lot.

Anything good on TV?

I watched two episodes of the Hot Bench

and they let that new urban judge hog up too much screen time.

Mom, how many times do I have to tell you

that you can't use the word "urban" to describe a person?

I'm trying to paint a picture here, Beth.

I don't know what you want me to say.

Do you want me to say I don't prefer Judge Joseph?

- Does that make me racist? - Yes.

It sort of does.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- You wanna watch a movie? - Sure.

Will you read me the titles?

I wanna make an informed decision.

Okay, we've got...

Mystic Pizza.

Steel Magnolias?

Pretty Woman?

Mmm.

Flatliners?

Mm-mm, no, I don't wanna watch Flatliners.

Okay, I'll keep going, then.

Uh, Sleeping with the Enemy.

No.

Uh, The Pelican Brief.

- Yeah, put that one on the "maybe" pile. - Mom, come on.

I am so tired.

Can we please just watch My Best Friend's Wedding?

I know this is not the best time,

but could you please pick me?

Pick me to be your wife.

Beth, come here, come here, come here!

- Can it wait? - No, no, no, no.

It'll only take a sec. Come here.

So I'm going through all the Sausage Messages today.

You wanna see my favorite one that I've ever seen probably in my entire life?

Beck, these messages are private.

Yeah, I know, but you gotta see this one.

She sent this to her co-worker

she's cheating on her husband with.

Aw! Huh?

Isn't this like a major breach of trust?

Yeah, of course.

I could ruin these people's lives,

but, you know, whatever, it's kinda cool.

Okay. Thanks, Beck.

Yeah, okay. I'll see ya.

None of your fucking business.

None of your fucking business, okay?

Like, how would you get that?

I'm not gonna tell you exactly where I am

at every fucking moment of the day.

That's psychotic.

Do you hear yours-- are you--

are you not even hearing yourself?

No... fuck off.

Will you do me a favor, hon?

Will you go check on the memorial?

Hey, Robbie.

- Hey. - Hi.

What ya up to?

Just working on some drawings.

Did you get a chance to eat dinner?

Mm, no, no yet.

Well...

I could bring you some Lo mein if you want.

I don't. But I'll let you know.

Okay.

Tomorrow morning, could you take me to Target?

Oh, sure.

Sure, yeah.

You know I'm also happy to drive you

to the DMV whenever you want,

so you can take your driver's test.

Now is not really a good time.

I'm pretty slammed with all these art projects.

Okay.

Hey, could you close the door on your way out, please?

Yeah.

You got it.

Beth.

Beth.

Beth.

Beth!

Yeah.

It's your turn.

- Huh? - Marry, fuck, kill.

Catherine Zeta-Jones, Huey Lewis, Kate Upton.

Who's Kate Upton?

Uh, who is Kate Upton?

You feeling okay?

Sorry, I think I need some fresh air.

Hey.

I didn't mean to scare you.

No, you didn't scare me.

Really? 'Cause you literally screamed.

What? No.

So, do you like listening to strangers' conversations?

No, that's not what I was doing.

I'm sorry if it seemed that way.

I didn't...

I'm fucking with you.

That was some loser from Chaska who took me on one date

to see the Blue Man Group

and now he thinks we're like married.

Oh.

I mean, he wore Sketchers, so...

Mm.

I work at a Thai restaurant down the block.

Oh, Mai Thai?

That's the one.

I had to work a double today, because my co-worker

had to go home and take care of her daughter who has like,

a dent in her skull or something.

And like, I'm not trying to be insensitive

about people with disabilities, but like,

I had to work 12 hours straight, you know.

And I don't even get overtime.

Oh, my God.

Also, this huge vat of sweet chili sauce

flipped and it got all over my phone.

And now my phone's like sticky and my eyes burn when I use it.

It's terrible.

Okay, I can tell that this story is boring you.

You obviously don't give a shit.

No, that's not... I'm sorry that...

Oh, sorry. Do you want some?

I actually work inside.

I think I should probably get back in there.

Do you wanna get a drink or something?

Like I could really use a drink.

What can I grab you to drink?

I'll just have whatever you're having.

Okay, I'm gonna get a Tequila Sunrise.

Sounds fun.

Okay.

- What are you doin'? - Oh, hey. Nothing.

Hey, alright.

Um, bottom's up.

Bottom... oh, okay.

Mmm.

So like what's that place you work at?

It's a warehouse for Talcott Sausage.

It's a sausage company.

I work in the shipping department.

Cool.

Is it?

Yeah, I mean, we manufacture and send sausages to people.

My department is kind of like, um, the middle man or woman.

I guess, but I'm the only woman that works there.

So...

So who like buys sausage?

A lot of people.

The owner's son just moved back from Boulder

and took over operations.

He's kinda trying to rebrand us like a cool brewery.

But it's like, sausage, you know.

He started this new program

where we send sausage baskets to people.

Um, it's called "Sausage Messages"

where you like, include a message with it.

- Sorry, Sausage Messages? - Mm-hmm.

That's fascinating that he came up

with literally the worst name

and then like still decided to use it.

He's got a pretty limited imagination.

And what kind of pathetic loser

would like send a sausage message?

There is this option to include a photo

and it's supposed to be...

like to show us how you want the basket arranged,

but people seem to think that we include

the photo in the basket,

so we get a lot of pretty perverted photos

that people don't realize we see.

Like dick pics?

A lot of women, actually.

Not as many dick pics as you think.

Nobody's ever asked me this much about my job before.

Mm, I've never met anybody who works at a warehouse.

Your fingernails must be like fucked up.

So like, do you like it?

It's not bad.

I mean aside from the light sexual harassment,

all the guys are pretty nice.

Wait, so they sexually harass you?

I-- I can't tell if you're kidding.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.