Fallout

The audience...

they want to see that even

a good man as yourself can be

- driven too far. - Yeah, I understand that, but that's not really my thing.

Why can't you move?

Someone stole my fusion core.

What are you suggesting?

We travel together, get the head and take it to the Brotherhood.

In exchange, you'll lend me the services of your knights to save my father.

You know, I've never done an advertisement before

in my life.

I wonder if anyone survived.

I did.

Lucy!

Where are we?

We're in the best place in the world.

We're in a vault.

Oh.

Hello there.

Yep, it's me, Cooper Howard,

star of stage and screen.

But I'm not here today to talk to you about my latest picture.

No, today I'm here to show you a vast and wonderful place,

not made by God Almighty but the working man.

A veritable Camelot of the nuclear age.

Now, how 'bout we turn on some lights.

There, that's better.

Now, I'm speaking to you from deep inside the fully-livable

Model 96JQ1164.

And what a beaut she is.

And what a song she sings.

Now, that right there is Vault 4's three-foot-thick lead casing.

Strong enough to keep out the rads

and the Reds.

Each one of these underground burghs

comes with all the modern amenities you've come to expect

from our rip-roarin' republic.

Now, this corridor here is Sycamore Street,

where you'll wave howdy to any one of your 200 neighbors

on your way home for an enchanted evening with your loved ones.

Mm.

Meet the Hawthornes.

Now, this isn't just your average all-American family.

No, Lloyd and Cassandra here are both scientists,

specializing in the effects of radiation on human DNA.

That's right.

And we'll be living and working right here in Vault 4,

leading a community governed entirely by scientists.

Wait a second, did you say "living down here"?

Well, there hasn't been a nuclear incident, has there?

Uh, no, not yet.

But, uh, our family and a group of 80 volunteers

will be conducting a five-year trial of Vault 4.

To demonstrate to the world that,

no matter what comes our way,

America will be ready.

Five years.

Well, I may play a hero in the movies, but...

you all are heroes in real life.

And now you can be a hero, too.

By purchasing a residence in a Vault-Tec vault today.

Because if the worst should happen tomorrow,

the world is gonna need Americans just like you

to build a better day after.

And cut.

That was a great take. You happy?

Fellas, are you happy?

All right. Gary, I'm wrapped, right?

- Yes, sir. - Uh, how'd we do?

- We were so nervous. - Aw, you did great.

Yeah, it was really lovely to meet you. Thanks for coming out.

Thank you so much. Good to meet you.

- Mr. Howard, great work today. - Ah.

Oh, thanks. Thanks, man.

Bud Askins. I oversee our Southern California operations.

- Ah. - I, uh, came over to Vault-Tec

in Q3 after a ten-year stint at West Tek.

West Tek.

It's a defense contractor.

Oh, I'm, uh, very familiar with you guys.

You designed the T-45 power armor.

First of its kind.

No, I-I oversaw the-the rollout.

You know, the design flaws were ridiculous, but...

- they sure looked great. - I wore the T-45

when we almost lost the great state of Alaska to the Reds.

Those design flaws of yours cost a lot of good men and women their lives.

Yeah. Product management was never my bag.

I'm more focused on HR R&D now.

Overseeing workflow optimization of management timelines.

I'm all about scale.

Most people think scale means increasing global market share.

That's thinking in three dimensions, and I'm talking about four.

Because what is the ultimate weapon to destroy your competition?

It's not outselling them. It's not outsmarting them.

It's time.

- Hmm. - Time...

- is the ultimate weapon. - Uh-huh.

- Yeah. - Sounds complicated,

but the future of all humanity comes down to one word.

Yeah, what's that?

Management.

Well, I'm awful happy for you, Buck.

Bud. Bud Askins.

- Hey. - Ooh!

Mmm.

I'm at work.

Oh, how 'bout we clock out?

- Oh. - Huh? Nothing against these colleagues of yours,

but what do you say you and me knock back a couple of piña coladas by the pool,

- listen to the hi-fi. - Mm.

There is a wrap party.

What, a... a wrap party?

- For this? - Yes.

All right. We go for a couple of hours,

we shake a few hands...

It's at our house.

The things I'm willing to do for you

never cease to amaze me.

Mm.

Roosevelt, I'm sorry. You can't come, buddy.

I'm heading into enemy territory.

You be a good dog.

Go to bed.

Yeah, A Man and His Dog... that movie's great.

Mm. Yeah. I love that one, too.

It was my real dog.

Beautiful home, Mr. Howard.

Thank you.

Did Cooper Howard just walk by?

He was so good in that movie.

Oh, it's him!

Mr. Howard. Hello.

Negotiations in Anchorage are having a serious impact on presales.

We'll have to circle up with D.C. about that.

Ideally before our quarterly projection release.

Mr. Howard. Mr. Howard.

Bud Askins.

Right.

Would you mind, you know, doing the butler voice?

- From the show? - All right.

I only do it for close friends and beautiful women,

but you two are already halfway there.

Stop it.

"I, Bartholomew Codsworth, am ever ready to serve."

- Hoo-hoo! - Perhaps

when you finish your shift, we could head up and party in the hot tub.

What do you think of that?

- Oh, no, no. No, thank you. - No?

Okay.

All right.

Excuse me. Your wine.

Well, shit, Seabass.

You might be the only one of my invites who actually showed up.

Yeah.

- Not our usual scene, I'll give you that. - No, it is not.

I think our Hollywood actor friends don't want to be seen

celebrating with the pitchman for the end of the world.

Oh, you don't know the half of it.

You hear I lost a movie over these ads?

Yeah, showed up to set,

the actors wouldn't come out of their trailers.

Bonnie Lewis said it was on moral grounds.

Bonnie Lewis?

She's done more ads than a fucking billboard.

- Yeah. - Fucking Hollywood Reds.

I'm telling you, radicalism is sweeping through Hollywood

like a bad case of the clap.

Even got your friend, Charlie Whiteknife.

Are you kidding me? Charlie?

- Mm. - I served

- with that guy. - They have meetings

and everything.

It's a shit show.

But you, my friend,

you know which way the wind is blowing.

And it's that...

a world run by people who wear pocket protectors to a pool party.

...about delivery platforms.

Yeah, you might be right about that.

I mean, I've dipped my bits in the same gravy train.

Sold my vocal rights to that

spinning robot they sell to housewives and perverts.

Guess how much they paid me for that.

Ten million?

No, I got 186, pre-tax.

Maybe you could've asked for more.

Well, I did ask for more.

And what did they say?

My agent got them to throw in one of those robots.

The fuck

were they thinking? Every time I walk into my own house,

my own voice saying, "Hello, sir, do you want to sit down?"

It's fucking awful!

I thought the studio owned that character.

They did. And then RobCo bought the studio.

- Mm. - Listen to me,

Hollywood is the past. Forget Hollywood.

The future, my friend, is products.

You're a product. I'm a product.