Atypical

In 1910, Robert Falcon Scott set out to become the first person

to reach the South Pole.

A year and a half later, he arrived, only to discover

that Roald Amundsen had beat him by 34 days.

And if that weren't bad enough, on the journey home,

Scott and his entire team froze to death on the punishing tundra.

You asked me what this makes me think of?

That's what it makes me think of...

freezing to death under the night sky.

I want you to take me to Winter Formal.

What? Think about how much fun

we would have with all the music

and dancing and wearing fancy clothes.

Those are three of my least favorite things.

Oh, and raisins, because I don't like to eat things with wrinkles.

Okay, but, Sam, this is really important to me.

I've never been to a dance with a date that wasn't a relative,

and now I have a boyfriend.

It's like the stars have aligned for us, you know?

I guess I could sit in the hallway

outside of the gym with my headphones on until it's over.

I'll bring a Ziploc full of crackers in case I get hungry.

What? No, that's boring.

Not to me. I like crackers.

Did you know that Ritz Crackers have seven holes

so that they don't get air bubbles during baking?

You know, my parents are gonna be out of town that night.

So I was thinking that maybe afterwards, you could...

come over?

Why would I want to go to your house? You have terrible snacks.

Plus, I'll probably be tired and ready for bed.

Come on, Sam. What do I have to do to get you to go to the dance?

If you ask them to turn the music off so that it was silent, that would be nice.

A dance without music.

A dance without music would be a dance without people.

That sounds pretty good, too.

It took all my imagination

Just to make a bit of observation

And if I'm not you and you're not me

Who the hell we're supposed to be

Now get on

What?

It's the middle of the day.

So?

So you're using drugs in the middle of the day.

It's pot. It's not drugs.

Ah.

You want a hit? Oh. Um, II can't.

Ah, come on. Have some fun.

You deserve it.

I do?

More than anyone I know.

Oh, I can't. What if somebody needs me?

Do they?

Lovestruck

Oohoohooh

Oohoohooh

You're lovestruck

Elsa Gardner, you dirty dog.

Hey, April.

Look at you, shopping for lingerie. Is Doug the luckiest guy ever or what?

Barry hasn't touched me in months.

Not that I want him to, fat piece of shit.

How are you?

I'm good.

Yeah, well, you certainly are.

You're glowing. What's your secret?

I don't have a secret.

I'm just... you know, I'm an open book.

Yeah, so...

Hmm.

What are you doing in this neighborhood?

I'm sorry? Well, you don't

you don't live anywhere near here.

It's awfully far to come.

A sale.

Oh.

They're having 40% off.

I have to get Casey so many white shirts, you know, for her Clayton uniform.

You wouldn't believe how many white shirts. I couldn't resist 40% off.

Clayton Prep? Mmhmm.

Wow. Uh, well... well, that's... that's big news.

It's not a sure thing. I mean, she hasn't even gotten in yet.

I'm just jumping the gun 'cause of the sale and...

Well, I should... I should run.

Okay.

Bye. Bye.

Hey, this is Miles. You know what to do.

Hey, it's me.

I'm calling to say

in case you were thinking of calling me, don't.

I am much happier

since you left suddenly, with no warning.

I am great.

And even though you managed to take the TV,

you left a bunch of other stuff that I don't want:

your humidifier, your panini press,

like, 15 kinds of hair gel.

You should probably come and get it.

Your hair looks kind of thin without product in it.

Anyway, I'll just leave it all outside.

Hope it doesn't rain. Don't call.

Ow!

I'm fine. Goodbye.

What's up? What are we talking about?

Hope it's the lacrosse team getting their eyebrows pierced; that's hilarious.

We got to go. Come on.

That was weird. What's up with them?

Sharice, let's go!

Sharice!

What the hell? They're upset you're leaving for Clayton.

How did they know about Clayton?

No clue, but I've been getting emails

all day from the mothers asking if we're still going

to make it to the finals without you. Spoiler alert... nope.

Anyway, just try to take it as a compliment.

Yeah.

Totally feels like a compliment.

I can't find my work pants.

You know where my work pants are?

They're folded in a pile on the bed.

Okay.

What, are you still mad at me?

What, for having so much shame about Sam's autism

that you never mentioned it at work?

Yep. Good to know.

Oh, that's nice. Do you want to talk, honey?

Nope, I don't.

The track team is freezing me out, and it's your fault.

Um, how is it my fault?

You blabbed to JJ's mom about Clayton. April?

Did I? I ran into April at the mall. Uhhuh.

I don't know if... I can't remember... Mom?

Okay, I mentioned Clayton.

Now the girls are pissed at me for betraying the team.

And I'm probably not gonna get into Clayton anyway.

Why wouldn't you get in? Wait, Casey, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a secret.

I will try and smooth things over with the other moms.

No, Mom, don't call anyone. Okay, I won't. Maybe just April.

Mom! Okay!

Ow.

Paige is making me go with her to the Winter Formal Dance at school.

Sounds dumb.

That sucks.

And after, she wants me to come over to her house

because her parents are at a wedding in Pittsburgh.

Back up.

Paige's parents are gonna be gone, and she wants you to "come over"?

Yes. Dude, that's awesome.

Why? Because it means she wants to get down.

Sex, dude.

II don't think so.

Paige didn't say anything about having sex.

Well, of course she didn't say anything.

Girls don't say stuff like that. They use code words.

I'm telling you, "come over" is lady talk for "have sex."

I'm still skeptical.

Trust me, she wants to take the DTrain to Bonetown.

Sex again. Just always assume I mean sex.

I'm gonna ask her. Don't ask her.

Excuse me, Paige? Mmhmm?

When you said that I should come over after the dance,

did you really mean have sex?

Uh, uh, maybe.

She said maybe.

In this case, maybe means yes.

I'm gonna ask her. Don't ask her, dude.

When you said maybe, did you mean yes?

Yes, Sam.

She wants to have sex.

I told you, dude!

Yes, you did.

The proposition of sex makes the dance seem much more worthwhile.

So what are we waiting for, Cinderella?

Let's get you ready for the ball.

And by "ball," I mean ballsdeep.

Knockknock. I solved your problem. I called JJ's mom.

I specifically asked you not to call anyone.

What are you doing? Why are you lying down?

Turns out, someone made a mountain out of a molehill.

Seriously, you're weirding me out. The girls are not angry at you.

They're just sad that you're leaving.

No, I'm telling you, they're being assholes.

All right, whatever. Some lady you barely know

says that it's not true, you listen to her.

Um, April Turner is not someone I barely know.

We almost shared a room together at the Ramada Inn

for one of your outoftown track meets.

And we would have, except I had a scratchy throat.

Okay, whatever. I...

I don't know why I assumed you would listen to me anyway.

April assured me that JJ's dying to hang out with you.

She said the girls are getting together to go dress shopping for the dance.

Mnhmnh. Pass. Mnhmnh. Call her.

Sweetie... listen to me.

I know teenage girls can be mean and bitchy.

I was actually like that myself sometimes.

You? I don't care about the other girls,

but you and Sharice are best friends.

Don't let this get between you two.