NCIS

-(birds chirping) -(panting)

*

Hey! Don't get...

-Wrong woman, jackass. -(groaning)

Stop. Stop!

Stop! There's someone in the back of your car!

* *

* *

-(low chatter) -(phone ringing)

Jimmy, hey.

Why the, uh, fancy clothes?

-Don't tell me it's picture day. Oh, I wish.

I-I still think you can see a little piece

of kale stuck in my teeth in this one.

Nah. Barely.

Ah. Well, I was wondering

if there's still a stash of shoe polish in, uh,

-Tony's secret desk compartment? -No.

HR cleared that out years ago.

All I got in here is, uh, some allergy medication

and nasal spray.

I'm not sure Tony would approve.

Oh, the tuxedo's out.

Finally awarded you Dad of the Year.

Come on.

You guys know why I brought the tux.

Tonight is the night.

Barbara from accounting, it's her community theater gala.

Oh, that's right.

She's on the board or something.

Yeah.

"An Evening of Gilbert and Sullivan."

And we all bought tickets and we said we'd go support her.

We sure did.

But I guess I didn't think that we'd actually...

-you know, like... -Go?

That's, like, the main part of supporting her.

Sure, and I would love to support her,

but Delilah's teaching tonight, so I am on kid duty.

Yeah, and I'd love to support her, too,

uh, but Tuesdays are, like, super packed for me, so...

I just don't like musicals.

Really? Like, any musicals?

Why do they got to sing? Why can't they just talk?

This is such a bummer, and not just,

not just for Barbara, but for you guys.

I mean, Gilbert and Sullivan are hilarious.

And they are the forefathers of musical theater.

I'm feeling so good about my choice right now.

I love a little GandS.

In high school, I was in The Pirates of Penzance.

Didn't peg you as a musical theater guy.

Guidance counselor gave me an ultimatum,

either a semester of Saturday detention

or a semester in a tricorn hat and pantaloons.

Well, all right. It looks like I have found my plus-one.

Definitely not.

I'm, uh, also in a new era

of detention called "paperwork."

-(phones chiming) -(McGee grunts)

Possible abduction of a Marine.

Got an eyewitness in a parking lot.

And MPD found the Marine's abandoned car

-off of Route 29. All right, go ahead.

Okay, well, uh, you guys break a leg.

They say in the theater, right?

There's no civility in the world anymore.

-Not like there used to be. Yeah,

as you keep mentioning.

Uh, so what happened with Sergeant Delgado?

What happened was I tried to be a Good Samaritan

and got my clock cleaned. Look at my face.

You'll heal. Uh, but can we circle back to Sergeant Delgado?

I pulled into the parking lot

to meet with the board of directors.

That's a euphemism for...

Yes, I know what it's a euphemism for.

But when I got out of the van

to head to the bathroom,

I noticed some creep in the back of her car, hunched over.

Can you be more specific?

I guess you could describe it as crouching

or maybe kneeling.

Uh, I meant height, age, race, tattoos.

I didn't get a good look.

The moment I saw him, I went to grab Old Babe.

That's what I call my...

Your baseball bat. Yes, I got that.

Then the lady was coming out of the woods,

and I walked up behind her.

So you crept up on a woman

in a secluded parking lot wielding a baseball bat?

I mean, when you put it like that...

McGEE: Clump of hair.

Signs of struggle.

Looks like Sergeant Delgado put up a fight.

Well, I expected nothing less from a Marine.

It looks like, uh, she tried to make a run for it,

the suspect grabbed her and put her in a different car.

Ooh, hello.

-McGEE: Got something here. -You got something good?

McGEE: Yeah, something strange.

-Whoa. -Yeah.

Come on, that's got to be from, like, an old Halloween costume.

I don't think that's an old toy.

No, that's a dueling pistol.

Thing's got to be from the 1800s.

Our Marine got held up by Yosemite Sam?

Doubtful.

Well, it looks like there's fresh blood on the barrel.

Yosemite Sam is more Wild West.

This thing's got to be older than that.

-Yeah. -(clicks)

What, are you sending a picture to Looney Tunes?

No, it's an app used to identify antiques.

Wow, that's like the saddest thing I've ever heard you say.

-It's for Delilah. -Oh.

-She collects porcelain figurines. -Okay.

We use the app to find out how much they're worth.

That's cool.

-It's a good investment. -Mm.

McGEE: Ooh.

This isn't any old dueling pistol.

-This thing is priceless. -Why, because it's so rare?

Because it's the pistol that Aaron Burr used

to kill Alexander Hamilton.

What?

Like the actual one?

The actual pistol.

Sergeant Molly Delgado, originally from

Houston, Texas, enlisted in 2015.

Joined the Marine Raiders three years later.

Oh, the Raiders are no joke. Very elite unit.

Yeah, not many women, which makes

Sergeant Delgado extra-elite.

She just returned from a counterinsurgency deployment

in Syria.

Maybe she pissed off the wrong insurgents,

and they came looking for revenge.

ISIS doesn't tend to use, uh,

famous Revolutionary War pistols in their operations.

Guess they don't want to sacrifice their shot.

Hello? Hamilton, the musical.

Let's dig into Molly's personal life.

See if she's got any enemies closer to home.

I'll head over to her apartment and poke around.

I'll check with her C.O.,

talk to the other Raiders in her unit.

All right, Nick, see if you can get an update

on your, uh, Hamilton pistol from Kasie.

Cool. Maybe I'll be in the room where it happens

when she gets a hit.

: Guys, come on, it's-it's, like,

the most successful musical of all time.

-Yeah, we all know Hamilton, Nick. -Actually, I don't.

McGEE: If you like musicals so much,

how come you're not going to Barbara's gala?

Oh, because I don't like musicals so much.

-I like Hamilton. -McGEE: Oh.

Gilbert and Sullivan were the Lin-Manuel Mirandas

-of the Gilded Age. -Look,

I would love to go, okay?

But Tuesday night is cold plunge night.

-(scoffs) -And, you know...

Seriously?

That's why you're not gonna go?

Cold plunge night is sacred.

I'll explain it to Barbara. She'll understand.

Hey, uh, lucky for you, you won't have to wait.

-(Knight gasps) Whoa.

Barbara, you look so beautiful.

Thank you, Agent Knight.

I wanted to bring your paystubs personally

on my way out for the big show.

Glad you stopped by, Barbara.

Nick has something he wants to tell you.

Please, let me go first.

I want to say how touched I am

that you are all attending the gala.

Yeah, so, uh, about that, uh...

Knowing the team will be there for my first solo performance...

Oh, wow. I didn't realize you were singing.

...it's just confirmation of what

I already believed:

NCIS isn't just a workplace.

It's a family. (chuckles)

Yeah. Uh, yeah.

Well, we all cannot wait to be there.

Okay.

Okay. (chuckles)

Well done.

I'm just saying, you didn't have to commit all of us

to an evening of musical selections

from the Rutherford B. Hayes era because you felt guilty.

Oh, come on, Kase, it's Barbara's first big solo.

I can appreciate that. I love Barbara.

She's the one who leaves the little mints

in the ladies' room.

Wait, you guys have mints in the bathroom?

Yes, right next to the fresh flowers.