Desperate Housewives

Previously on... "Desperate Housewives"

Renee had good news.

We're getting married.

Oh, how wonderful.

Gaby's talent for shopping became an opportunity.

The personal shopper job?

For you, my dear, it is a calling.

Things heated up between Tom and Lynette.

- Oh, my God. I'm on fire! - Oh!

Aah! Oh!

M.J. and Susan began their recovery

after Mike's death.

Oh, sweetie.

The police questioned Bree and advanced their case.

Judge Kemp just signed off on that warrant.

That was fast.

Sooner I can prove she's guilty,

sooner I can watch her pay for it.

When it came to throwing a bridal shower,

Bree Van de Kamp believed

that everything should be done with taste and dignity.

There should be personalized party favors...

Delicate pastel flowers...

elegant refreshments...

and she insisted on traditional gifts,

even if they received an untraditional response.

What the hell? Mixing bowls?

Nesting mixing bowls.

Come on. This is a shower.

Isn't there one gift over there that's, uh,

you know, buzzing?

Oh! I know just the one.

Oh, here we go.

I use mine all the time.

I used to do it by hand,

but this gets the job done so much faster.

Ah. Now we're talking.

It's a brand-new...

immersion blender?

Now you can puree soups right in the pot.

So is every gift gonna be kitchen-related?

Well, that's the theme

that I had letterpressed on the invitations.

Okay, I might have to send someone out on a beer run.

Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, but if you're looking

for that kind of shower, you're in the wrong place.

Oh, Bree, can I talk to you for a second?

Okay, so I had a feeling your shower might be kind of a dud,

so I may have sort of hired a male stripper.

Gaby, you didn't.

There he is, so yay!

No. Male strippers are beyond degrading,

and I don't choose to be humiliated in my own home.

Now please, get rid of them.

Bree Van de Kamp, we have a warrant for your arrest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She also has the right to remain horny.

Listen, change of plans...

Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to stand aside.

Just take the money and go. And tell the agency

three dumpy strippers does not equal one hot one.

What?

You're under arrest for the murder of Ramon Sanchez.

What? Oh, my God.

Bree, what's going on?

Oh, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.

Is there anything we can do?

Yes. I just put the mini quiches in the oven.

Would you be a dear and take them out before they burn?

Yes, Bree Van de Kamp believed

in doing everything with dignity...

Even in the most undignified of circumstances.

Sometimes no matter how much we plan...

things don't turn out the way we expect.

A sterling reputation...

may become tarnished.

A clear explanation...

might get messy.

An ideal arrangement...

could fall apart in a flash.

And one person may end up paying the price...

for a crime that everyone thought was shared.

Honey, are you okay?

Yeah, thanks to Bob. He bailed me out.

- What happened? What do they have on you? - Very little...

Orson's ridiculous letter, which is inadmissible in court,

since he's... gone,

and a very cryptic phone conversation

which can easily be explained away.

Oh, thank God.

Well, they also have Bree's fingerprint.

On what?

A button on the victim's shirt.

When we were wrapping him up in the tablecloth,

I noticed that his shirt was unbuttoned.

You tidied up the dead guy?

I felt it was respectful at the time.

Obviously, I see things differently now.

Wh...

Well, we're not gonna let her take the blame for this.

- Yeah, we're all in this together. - Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

If we confess, they'll find out about Carlos,

and they could put him away forever.

So what? We let Bree take the fall for us?

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

- No, I'm just saying, we should think this through. - Well...

Ladies, stop.

Nothing is gonna happen to me. The police have no case.

And of all of us,

I am in the best position to take this on right now.

I have no job, no small children to look after.

But you do have a halo over your head.

Yeah, Bree. It's incredibly generous.

Bob, you swear you're gonna get her off, right?

Actually, she needs a criminal defense attorney.

I know the perfect guy. He's a real shark.

He's not cheap, but he's worth it.

Well, obviously, we're gonna pay for it.

- Yes. - You don't have to do that.

No arguing. You are doing something huge for us.

Well, thank you, but I promise you, it's not going to be huge

because nothing is going to happen.

I swear to God, this woman is guilty.

If she walks, I am gonna lose it.

You don't have to convince me, but a jury's a whole nother story.

There's no motive, no connection to the victim.

Then we have to find one, all right? Fast.

Are you sure you're not overreacting because she dumped your partner?

I don't think she just dumped him.

I think she might be the reason Chuck's dead.

Come on.

We need to keep digging.

No. No way.

Carlos!

I am not gonna let Bree

take the fall for a crime I committed.

Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Before you do anything stupid

and macho and Noble, just sit your ass down and listen to me!

Or stand your ass there and listen to me.

You can't turn yourself in.

Why not? I'm the one who did it.

You've already been to jail twice.

You get a third strike, they're gonna put you away for life.

So what, I'm supposed to send Bree in my place?

Bree's not going anywhere.

The evidence against her is very flimsy,

and we're getting her some hotshot defense attorney.

We?

Who is "we"?

The girls and I.

We decided since Bree's in the hot seat, the

least we could do is pay her legal fees.

Yeah, a... and I'm all in favor of that, but...

How are we supposed to afford this?

I just quit my job and I have a lead on a nonprofit,

but it is hardly gonna pay anything.

Okay, relax. Relax. Sit down.

Look...

I'm working now.

No offense, but I don't think personal shoppers

make hotshot defense attorney money.

Okay, seriously, you need to keep your mouth shut and lie low

until this Bree thing plays out.

I just wish that there was something I could do.

Carlos,

look...

this is one of those times when the best thing you can do

is do nothing.

What about his suits?

I'm giving it all away.

It's what Mike would've wanted.

I think I'll keep these.

M.J. always says he's gotta fill daddy's shoes.

So if I save a pair, someday...

he will know that he did.

Are you crying?

No. No.

- Can you grab that stuff on the shelf? - Yeah.

What's this?

I don't know.

Never seen it before.

Hmm. I'll grab Mike's keys.

Um, maybe you opening it is not a good idea.

Why not?

Because it's in your house, in your bedroom, but it's locked.

So maybe Mike didn't want you to know what was in it.

That's ridiculous.

I have a box like this in my house

that I would not want Bob to see.

Why? What's in it? No. Don't answer that.

It's probably just papers and stuff.

You're probably right,

but if it's something else, you may not want to know.

Well, what do you suggest I do?

Throw it away?

Keep it on the shelf?

Okay, how about this... you go make yourself a nice cup of tea,

I will open it, and if it's just papers, I'll tell you?

And if it's something else?

I will decide if you should see it.

I'm just trying to protect you, Susan.