We Found Something

OK.

Hello, my name is Jeremiah.

And I found this camera out in the woods when I was hunting,

and, well, I just thought you should see it for yourself.

You know, originally, when I found the camera,

I thought maybe this just belongs to some kids making

a YouTube video or...

Heck, maybe I'm even got myself lucky

and found someone's homemade porno.

But, yeah, that wasn't the case.

So I've been taking some time to look through all the footage

and by no means do I consider myself an editor

or anything like that.

I basically just put all the footage in iMovie

and try to make sense of it all.

And what I saw, well, that's just the thing,

I don't exactly know what I saw, but I

do know it's important for other people to see it.

Hey, Ted, there's something I've been trying to tell you

for a while and I keep chickening out

so I figured I'd make you a video

and then I couldn't chicken out because you'd find it.

It'll be on your camera.

So listen... look, you're my brother.

You know I love you, right?

Like, I really do.

And, Jenny, Jenny loves you too.

I promise, like, she really does.

But the thing is Jenny...

Hey, Matt, done pinching your loaf?

Come on, they ain't waiting for us.

What the fuck are you doing?

I'm just... I'm just checking the settings.

It's too early for bathroom selfie's, isn't it?

I'll be right out.

I'll be right out.

You can do that on your phone.

You don't need to use my...

I was just checking the settings so you get the...

camera.

Right stuff later.

Just... I'll be right out.

And wash your fucking hands.

Early before.

Never.

Yeah, that's because I have never have been.

I never have been.

That's what happens when you put me

in the hands of my tyrannical sister, who wants to take me

on a climbing expedition...

Hi, Jenny.

That's like three hours away.

Hey, Matt.

OK, well, you know...

You know the spot we always go to?

That's where I'm taking him.

Oh, yeah, that place is...

He's acting like it's a...

Yeah, he's acting like it's a crazy spot.

It's a good spot for new beginners.

I know why you're doing it.

I mean, we're going to be like I don't know,

100 miles from any other like, living human

being so to minimize the risk of embarrassment...

Exaggerate much?

I promise you I will still find a way.

Oh, OK, I need more coffee.

You've had three cups.

You're right.

I don't... don't... Yeah, I'll be...

He's going to take a poo poo.

That is not a big enough word to describe

what is about to happen.

I keep trying to tell him.

Dude, I feel so guilty.

Every time I go to tell him, I just...

Just wells up and I just, I don't want to...

I just wish there was a way to spare him.

Either way it's going to hurt him.

I just tried to record it on his camera,

so that he would find it later.

And he interrupted me right when I was about to spill the beans.

That's Ted, great timing.

Yeah.

I'll try and tell him today.

You need to tell him.

Yeah, I'll try today.

If he's able to climb that wall, he'll be in a great mood,

right?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, that... that'll be the perfect time.

Shit, he's coming back.

So how long till you come back?

I don't know.

I'm hoping two days.

We'll see.

Yeah.

That's good.

At least that's when my dad will get his blood results.

Well, we're all praying for him.

How's your dad doing?

How's the fam?

Everybody cool?

No, he's... they're OK.

I mean, I know it's not like a big deal, but I don't know,

I still want to be here just in case something happens to dad.

Yeah, we understand.

Well, send him our love.

Thanks.

Yeah, tell him I said what's up.

I guess, I don't know, we should probably start...

Packing up?

Packing shit up, yeah.

Yeah.

Got that lovely three hour drive.

Oh, Yeah, it's going... It's going to be a...

A beaut.

Do you want to say goodbye to your girl?

I guess.

Bye, babe.

Love you.

Bye.

Love you too.

Wish me luck.

Wish me luck.

Luck.

Thank you.

Jesus, what do you fucking have in this thing?

Bye.

Maxie pad, you picked a hell of a day to hit up the forest

and do this climbing thing.

It's cold.

It's raining.

It's not supposed to be raining on the other side

of the mountain where climbing, don't worry.

Yeah, well, it's still in Bakersfield,

so that's bad enough.

Have you been just living in a closet?

I mean, look at...

Oh, I'm out of the closet.

Look at... well, we know that, but look

at our comparative skin tones.

I can't believe we're related...

It's called sunscreen.

You should really try it.

Are you sure?

Because you look like the ghost of someone who drowned.

Why drowned?

Because they get all like pale and pasty

when they find their body in the water.

I mean, I guess...

Are you saying I'm bloated?

Because they get bloated.

Well, I'm saying that too.

I'm just saying you're pale.

Anyways, Jenny, I'm doing this for you.

I'm doing this for you.

So is Maxie because she sure as hell wasn't doing it for me.

But yeah...

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm trying to help you overcome your fear.

How am I not doing that for you?

No, no, I just mean you're like, you're not...

You're not doing it for me personally.

Like you're just not doing it for me.

You're my brother so I hope I'm not doing it for you.

All right, that's fair.

I feel like you can use that in other contexts.

Like this movie isn't doing it for me, or like this...

OK, whatever, just drop it.

I can't...

I forgot how annoying you are in the mornings.

I mean, I think anybody who has to wake up before 5:00 AM is

perfectly entitled to be...

Well you're entitled already.

Annoying.

OK, anyways, Jenny, doing this for you because you

need a strong man in your life who isn't afraid of anything,

including...

Including ladders and tall rocks.

And I don't want to make you clean the gutters by yourself

every time.

I mean, I do, but only because I get to look at your butt.

But anyways...

Jenny, it's all for you.

It's all for you Jenny.

OK, I'm not... I'm not going to talk to Jenny anymore

she'll see the...

She'll see the video, and she'll get the proposal,

and, well, I think by the time I edit this into something that's

decent she might even say yes.

Yeah, maybe.

Oh, man...

I mean, yeah, totally, she'll say yes.

Who couldn't say yes to this?

Do you...

really need to document the whole drive?

Do you wanna...

Want me to eat my banana?

I mean, I don't...