Friends

- Hey. - Hey.

Wow, you look nice. What's the occasion?

Monica and I are celebrating our 10-month anniversary.

- Got reservations at Jean-George. - Wow.

- How'd you get in? - Oh.

Made a few calls, pulled some strings...

...and they'll seat us if we both have chicken and don't get dessert.

- Hi, Chandler. Hey, Caitlin.

Somebody got a haircut.

Ugh. I hate it. I look like an 8-year-old boy.

If that was true, gym class would've been more interesting.

- It's, uh, $27 even. - Oh, okay. Here you go.

Where's the chicken?

Oh, it's in the back. The duck pissed him off.

He said that eggs came first.

- Ha, ha, thanks. I'll see you later. Okay. Bye.

What the hell was that?

- What? - The flirting.

Aren't you supposed to be going out with, hmm, let's see, my sister?

I was not flirting.

It was totally flirting! "Somebody got a haircut..."

First of all, the impression? Uncanny.

Second, that wasn't flirting. That was just casual conversation between two people.

Oh! Yeah, right.

You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting.

I'm good. I'm okay.

I am so proud of Joey.

- He's gonna be on Law and Order! - I know.

But don't you think it should be called Order and Law?

No, because they arrest the guy and then try him.

Yeah. Don't get me started on that.

- I was not flirting. - And on your anniversary. For shame!

What's going on?

Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl.

I was not. And oh, God! Shh!

I'm sorry, but you were. And besides, if anyone should be hitting on her...

...it's the guy who's single...

...the guy who can do something about it.

Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.

Well...

Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?

Ha, ha, Ross, we broke up two years ago. You've been married since then.

I think it's okay that we see other people.

- I was watching her at the pizza place. - Mm-hm.

And she was just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little...

We don't need her measurements. Ha, ha.

Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni.

I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?

She forgot my vegetarian.

This is perfect. She'll have to come back here with your pizza.

And when she does, I will turn on the charm "au" Ross.

Oh, I am so glad you don't eat meat. Ha, ha.

- See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone. - Mm.

Hey, everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother.

- Big night! - Yeah, it's so cool.

Joey on Law and Order. You must be very proud.

Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.

Ha, ha, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother.

I've done it again.

Nonnie's my biggest fan.

She's the only one in the family who's always believed in me.

Big star.

My big fat Joey star.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I weighed, like, 27 pounds when I was born.

Hey.

- Happy anniversary. - Happy anniversary, 10 months.

- Oh! Mm. - Mm.

Um, in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London.

Oh, uh, Joey's grandmother's right there.

- The one who speaks English? - The one who doesn't.

That was some hot love you gave me. Ha-ha-ha.

- I'll get ready. - Wear those earrings I got you.

Oh, that's a great idea. I was saving them for something special.

Mm.

- You've got to go home. - But I like it here.

Go home and get the earrings you borrowed. He wants me to wear them.

I think they're in my purse. Go get dressed and I'll look for them.

Okay.

Ahem, Rach. Hi.

I need those earrings you borrowed.

Oh. Um...

- Okay. Okay.

- Yeah, I'll be right back. Okay.

Wow, Pheebs, you speak Italian?

I guess so.

- Here you go. - Thanks. Wait, where's the other one?

Oh, what, you want both of them? Ha, ha.

Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?

Okay, okay. Look, just don't freak out, but I kind of lost it.

Oh, I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.

What'll I tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight.

- Tell her to wear her own earrings. - These are her earrings.

No. No.

You lent me Monica's earrings? I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff.

- Why not? - Because I lose her stuff!

He, uh, left a little after 2.

You see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.

Oh, uh, my big scene's coming up. Uh, the big scene coming up.

If you said, "Big lima bean bubbling up," would she know the difference?

Rach, what are you doing?

Oh, I just can't watch. It's too scary.

- Huh. - It's a diaper commercial.

Oh, yeah, well, you know me. Babies, responsibilities...

Pizza delivery. - I'll get it! I will get that!

Hi. - Hi.

- One vegetarian pizza. It's 12.50. - Ah.

Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better, uh...

...I happen to like 8-year-old boys.

What?

Oh, I mean... No, no, no. The, uh...

Your hair. Before. Your hair.

You said you thought your hair looked like an 8-year-old boy's...

...and I'm just saying I like it.

The hair.

Oh. Thanks.

You understand, I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.

All I'm looking for is the money.

Here you go. Now, stop bringing us pizzas, you.

- I'm gonna try. Ha, ha. Okay.

You're welcome.

You couldn't let me have her, could you?

- What? - This is a girl I really like...

...and you had to swoop in there! - What's going on?

Chandler was flirting with the hot delivery girl.

Thank you for that.

I was not flirting.

It's okay. I don't care. Ha, ha. It's fine.

- Really? - Really?

It's no big deal. I do it all the time.

So, uh... Ahem. You flirt with guys all the time?

Sure. It doesn't mean anything. Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you.

But there's a big difference. You're a lot hotter.

True story.

Ha, ha. This actually bothers you?

Yes, and I think it'd bother a lot of people.

When you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?

Uh, no. No, it bothered me when he slept with other women.

And thank you for that.

But I never had anything to worry about.

Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.

What...? What...? Ha, ha.

What are you talking about? It worked with you.

Oh. No, you're right.

We met, you flirted and then, bam, nine years later, you had me.

All right. All right.

You know what I'm gonna do? I am gonna order another pizza.

And when Caitlin gets here...

...I will show you how well I flirt.

- I will get her phone number. - Oh, well...

And not the one on the menu.

- I found it. - Oh, thank God! Where was it?

On your dresser.

- Okay, that is the one we already have. - Oh.

Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here.

- What do you bet nobody heard anything? - No bet.

Anybody home?

- Oh, my God. - What?

Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out. Ha, ha.

- Oh, what is it? - Uh, they cut me out of the show.

What?

- Are you sure? - Maybe your scene's coming up.

Not likely. Because you see that body bag right there?

Yeah. - I'm in it.

This is terrible. What'll you do?

I don't know. But this little old lady lives for my career.

When they dumped me off Days of Our Lives, she almost died.

That's not good.

You're not smiling. Not that face! Smile, everybody smile! Ha, ha.

Why don't you just tell her what happened? It's not your fault.

If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?

Oh, uh, soon. I'm gonna be on soon.

There I am!

No.

Sam Waterston!

Oh, no, no. That's me. That's me!

No. Sam Waterston.

Crime Misdemeanor, Capricorn One.

She doesn't know "hello," but she knows Capricorn One.

- Phoebe. - Hmm?

I need those earrings. We're leaving when the show's over.

But I already gave them back to you.

No, you didn't.

All right, I already didn't gave them back to you. That's what I said.

Ahem. Where's that other earring?

It's not here, Pheebs. It's not here. Oh!

I went to Chandler's last night.

Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.

Wait a minute, Chandler has a jewelry box?

Okay, we have 10 minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?

Hey, Pheebs.

How's that, uh...

...vegetarian pizza working out for you, huh?

You and those, uh, vegetables have a real, uh...

...thing going on, huh?

Why are you being weird?

Do you like it?

No. That would be, "Why are you being cute?"