Cunk on Earth

This is our planet.

Planet Earth.

It's a planet I'm literally on right now,

and unless you're watching this on a long-haul flight

or while falling off a building,

chances are you are, too.

This is the incredible story of how humankind transformed our world

from being a load of pointless nature like this

to full of modern things like this...

CAR BEEPS

..and how it did it using nothing more than its hands...

..and its imagination,

and also tools and electricity

and the internet.

It's a journey that'll take me to every corner of the globe

money and pandemic travel restrictions would allow,

getting up close to some of our species most stunning achievements.

And I'll be asking questions...

Who are you?

..to leading academics, clevernauts and expertists

who will help me unlock the mystery of human civilisation.

Why do they say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built

when it's obviously just big bricks in a triangle?

This is not just the story of the planet we live in.

This is the story of the world we live on. Or both.

So, join me, Philomena Cunk,

for a landmark look at the world we built together.

This is Cunk on Earth!

This programme contains some strong language

For billions of years, there was no civilisation on Earth.

Just animals, plants and gases, getting on and mingling.

Must have been beautiful, but also boring.

Until along came a creature that would change all that -

human man.

Was Early Man similar to us?

I mean, was he made out of the same sort of meat that we are?

You know, did it have a brand name like beef or pork?

As far as we can tell, they were made out of the same stuff as us.

All we have is bones, of course,

and they're exactly the same as our bones.

We can only assume that the bones were encased in flesh,

something like ours, but I'm not aware of any kind of brand name

that they would have had. So it would have just been flesh?

Just flesh, I think, yes.

It would be hard to come up with a brand name for human flesh,

wouldn't it?

"HuF"?

We often assume early men were stupid because they had big eyebrows

and said, "Ug," but in fact they were pioneering inventorers.

They were the first men to use tools, which is something most men

have forgotten how to do today, which is why they have to get

someone in - a real man.

How did Early Man make tools whilst walking on all fours?

Well, we don't think that they walked on all fours for too long.

We're pretty sure they were walking upright for at least

the last two million years.

So, did they make the tools with their front legs

or their hind legs?

Well, I don't think humans have ever been very good at making things

with their feet, so, yes, it would have been the front legs

that they used for making tools. Right.

So, in leg terms, it would have been their top legs? Yes.

I think they would certainly have used the top legs for making tools,

or arms and hands as we call them today.

One thing they did invent was fire,

which allowed them to see at night and kept them warm,

tragically prolonging their already tedious lives.

But they had to invent something to do

during the long, boring evenings, and that something was art.

I'm entering a cave, not by mistake or because I'm a wolf...

..but because I've been specifically asked to come here by the producers

to look at cave art.

Cave paintings like these

are one of the first examples of civilisation on Earth.

Don't worry, it gets better.

Early cave artists started out painting whatever was close to hand,

like their hands.

Then, they branched out into stories.

Initially, just boring stories

about cows standing still.

But soon they began creating

white-knuckle fight scenes like this.

Humans versus cows 2D.

To a caveman, this was the thrilling equivalent

of Fast and Furious Part 7.

Have any of the cave paintings been adapted into films?

Suppose they couldn't get the rights anyway, though, could they?

Film-making, obviously, arose much, much later than the end

of the cave paintings.

So, there hasn't been a cave wall that's been like,

"Oh, my God, that's an incredible story.

"We need to get Steven Spielberg to make this"?

It would be hard to come up with a story that would last

an hour and a half based on just one panel in a cave.

Some believe these violent images were painted as religious acts

intended to bring good luck in upcoming battles.

We don't know why humankind was at war with the cows

and, tragically, we never will.

In fact, we'll probably never even know the name of the artist

or these cows, because whoever painted this

is almost certainly dead now.

Hunting animals every day was a pain in the arse

until someone came up with the idea of also eating plants,

which were easier to catch because they couldn't run away.

This simple act of laziness led to the invention of farming,

a huge leap forwards,

which was now more dangerous because you might land

on one of the farming implements that were suddenly lying around.

The early farmers grew wheat and learned to bake bread.

They also grew barley, peas and lentils,

so they could have made a passable vegan burger

to put inside the bread

but, luckily, they didn't have to.

Because they'd also invented this - the fence.

A high-tech wooden machine for containing animals.

Humans quickly enslaved sheep, chickens, goats

and their number one enemies, the cows.

Farms became a lot like zoos.

Except, of course, in a zoo, you can't pick out an animal

you like the look off and kill it and eat it.

Unless, perhaps, the zoo itself is struggling financially

and the owner's lost all hope.

Humans turned animals they couldn't eat or ride into pets

if they were pretty enough.

Early Man domesticated dogs for companionship...

..and cats for whatever we have cats for.

This was the first time in history life could be described as cosy.

People lived in proper houses,

which soon grew to become cities.

It's hard to believe I'm walking through the ruins

of the first-ever city, because I'm not.

That's in Iraq, which is miles away and fucking dangerous.

But the remains of it look pretty much like this,

so you'd never know I wasn't actually there

if I wasn't telling you now by accident.

Today, it's just a dismal load of bricks and dust,

but if you use a modern computer to simulate what it used to look like,

the results are nothing short of breathtaking.

Civilisation had begun.

Who invented civilisation?

Civilisation wasn't something

that was invented

or something that started abruptly.

We talk about civilisation once humans started agriculture,

once they started building cities

and creating laws.

That was something that happened gradually in different parts

of the world rather than just being invented suddenly. Yeah.

So, it wasn't just one man

who wanted to remain anonymous?

No. Cos that would be something we shouldn't go along with if it was.

Do you mean we shouldn't go along...?

If it was one man who wants to remain anonymous,

there's something a bit shifty about that, isn't there?

So, civilisation was invented in Mesopotamia

by person or persons unknown.

But whoever they were, they were way ahead of their time.

Did the Mesopotamians have any of the same things that we have today?

Yes. Like what?

Weapons, jewellery,

temples, animals.

Right. No, I meant, like, feet and eyebrows and that sort of thing.

Yes, yes. They did?

They had the whole set of organs,

holes, bits that work together,

and bits on the outside, bits on the inside.

So they had the same number of holes and everything?

As far as science is in a position to reassure you, yes.

One of their most significant killer apps

was something we still use to this day - the circle.

Wheels might look complicated to the likes of you,

but the way they work is actually simple.

The circle bit here revolves around a sort of sticky out bit

in the middle,

and then, as the wheel skin here pushes against the ground,

the pressure rolls the entire planet back and away from you,

giving you the impression that you're moving forward,

which, incredibly, you actually are.

The wheel allowed people to travel around trading things,

but first they needed to count how many things they owned,

and that led to the tragic invention of maths.

Let's talk maths and numbers.

Were numbers worth less back in ancient times

or did they have the same value as now only bigger?

Numbers had the same value as they do now

in ancient times, yeah. People still needed to count things.

And did they have the same number of numbers as we do,

you know, from one to 700,

with 700 being the biggest number?

700 has never been the biggest number.

You can count to as many as you like.

No, no. I saw a thing on YouTube -

after 700, numbers repeat.

They just give them different names so you think they're still going up.

Do you want me to send it to you?

With numbers going as high, but no higher than 700,

people needed something to help them count.

That's where this came in.

It's called a bacus.

Using a bacus, our ancestors could count how many