The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Maddie, you know what I like about summer vacation?

Not being locked up in a stuffy school till noon every day.

London, some of us actually come back to school after lunch.

And I suppose you go on Fridays, too.

Ha, ha, ha!

Yeah. Silly me.

Anyway, I'm spending the summer on my yacht.

- What are you doing? - Working here.

Oh, yeah. And when I get home,

I get to help mom gut fish and apply pimple cream to my dad's hairy back.

Ooh.

- I just had a baby barf. - Yeah.

Woo-hoo!

London!

So, what are we girls talking about?

Fish guts and hairy pimples.

Ooh.

I just had a baby barf.

Well, now, I've come here to talk to you

about a camp counselor job for the summer.

Ooh, I have a summer job.

Doing nothing. Heh.

Ah. Well.

I guess I'm stuck with you, Maddie.

Just take a look at this.

Camp heaven on earth?

Oh, my... goodness! Ha, ha!

- It's beautiful. Is that a waterfall? - Yes.

It flows into a sparkling lake.

Oh! I've never been to camp.

And now I'm gonna get paid to go.

Wait. But I'm needed here at the Tipton.

We'll muddle through.

Ha!

Then I'm going to camp heaven on earth.

- High-five! - Whoo!

Oh!

Ladies and gentlemen of the graduating class.

It is my honor to announce this year's valedictorian.

Okay, who took the envelope?

Anybody?

Oh, Cody, I just know it's going to be you.

No, Barbara. You deserve it.

You're a-plus in every subject, including dimples.

Aww... there they are.

Let's just agree on one thing, my little cotangent...

Whoever gets picked, the winner kisses the loser.

Uh, okay. But it's going to be you.

No, it's going to be you!

Okay, I found it.

Uh, and this year's valedictorian is...

- Cody Martin! - Yes, I knew it!

Ow!

Ow!

Ah, young love.

Uh, Zack, we... we have a little problem.

You seem to have failed English.

Wait, what?

You won't be graduating with your class.

No, no, no, no, no! I need to graduate with my class.

If I don't graduate, I'll have to go to su... su... su...

Mer school?

Yeah, that's it.

Wait till you see your cabin!

Ooh, I must get this fixed. Unh!

Oh, dear!

Ahh! Oh!

And that.

Wow.

This doesn't look anything like the brochure you showed me.

Well, that picture was taken in 1929, before the locust blight.

You might have mentioned that.

And yet, to those inner-city girls, it is a magnificent arcadian retreat.

We're across the street from a slaughterhouse.

At least the meat is fresh.

Now, let me introduce you to your eager young charges.

Come on in, ladies.

Ohh...

Aren't you just the cutest little things?

Aah!

Oh, you must be my co-counselor.

Oh, no, no! Ha.

That's Leah. She's 12.

Well, she can do whatever she wants.

This is Amy, and Jasmine, and...

Oh. Where's Holly? Holly!

Coming, sister Dominick.

I was picking some daffodils.

Hey! I know you.

You're that little girl from the Tipton who conned me out of my watch.

I won it fair and square.

But if you're in the market for a new one, this one's real gold.

Buck-fifty.

Sister Dominick!

- What? - Come here.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but that little girl's a criminal!

We don't like to use the word criminal here.

They're just girls who've had a little bad luck.

Deep down inside, they're sweet and innocent.

All right, girls! Assume the position.

They're clean!

Oh, lunch is at noon.

We're having ham.

All right, girls.

Just so you know, I am not here to judge you.

In fact, I brought each of you a little gift.

All right, which one of you little crooks stole my backpack?

Don't look at me. Amy's the thief.

Am not! I have never stolen anything in my life.

Is that the ham we're supposed to have for lunch?

No.

It's my cuddly toy, Mr. Hammy.

It was given to me by my ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake.

She's also a compulsive liar.

At least I don't have anger issues.

Ha, ha, ha!

I do not have anger issues.

Now take it back before I shove Mr. Hammy up your nose!

Okay, okay!

We are learning a lot about each other.

Is there something I should know about you?

She doesn't talk.

So far, you're my favorite.

You know, mom's really going to be mad

when she finds out you're not graduating.

Well, she can't be too mad when she finds out I saved a life.

Whose life did you save?

Here, choke on this.

Now, why don't you just tell her the truth,

and promise to do well in summer school?

You're right.

Honesty is the best policy.

Give me your water.

Mom's a sucker for a sob story.

Dead puppy...

Dead puppy...

Dead puppy.

Okay, let's do this.

- Oh! Hey, guys! - Hi, mom.

I'm baking a cake for your graduation party.

Is that it on the ceiling?

That was the first try.

So how was your last day of school?

I don't want to talk about it.

Honey...

You sad to be leaving middle school?

- Well... - Would you let me handle this?

Sweetie, no matter how bad it is, you can tell me anything.

- You know that, right? - I know, mom.

Well... the truth is, is... surprise!

- Dad! - Dad?

I thought you were in Hong Kong.

Oh, I was.

But I took some time off tour so I could be here for your graduation.

Hence, surprise!

- Hey, Kurt. - Hi, babe.

That's great, dad.

And you know, speaking of surprises. Zack?

Gee, dad, it's sure swell of you to come.

But, you know, we're only graduating from the eighth grade.

It's not worth leaving a tour where you're making millions of people happy

with your unique brand of bluesy folk rock.

Are you kidding?

I am certainly not going to miss seeing my two boys

walk across that stage getting their diplomas.

Uh-huh.

So, Zack. What were you upset about?

Uh...

That dad wasn't gonna be here to see me graduate.

But it's all good now.

Mm. A little too much plaster, but not bad.

For our next activity,

I was thinking we could do something to make this cabin more attractive.

- You're leaving? - Ignoring, ignoring.

I was thinking maybe we could make some curtains.

Sounds great.

But first, we just wanted to give you a little gift.

It's just our little way of saying, welcome.

Thanks, you guys.

Oh, is it furry slippers?

Aah! Aah! Ahh!

It's a rabid raccoon!

- It's clawing me! It's biting me! - It's not real!

Not funny, girls.

I'm laughing.

Wow!

You talked.

I also sing.

I said clap!

So, Moseby. Which one do you like better?

This island with this yacht and this bathing suit, or...

This island with this yacht and this bathing suit?

Well, frankly, I don't give a hoot.

Hello? Oh, hey, Maddie. How's camp?

Terrible. These girls are savages.

- Come rescue me. - Don't worry.

I'll get the Tipton helicopter and be there right away!

- I'm proud of you. - Really?

- Missing a massage to help a friend. - Ooh!

I forgot about my shiatsu.