Marry Me

- A toast - A toast

Thank you all for making this,

The sixth anniversary of our first date, so special.

Who better to celebrate with than old friends

And new acquaintances? Liam, welcome.

Brilliant to meet you all, by the way.

Dennah was right. Bunch of wankers.

- I didn't get a word of it. - Me neither.

Got to admit, when Dennah first told us

She was seeing a doctor, I just assumed

She was finally doing something

About those earrings she swallowed.

Hey, in the middle of the night,

Everything feels like a Xanax.

Oh, that's all right, love.

My mum once sleep-ate a dog's dinner.

Wow, you are hard British.

So here's to our last date-iversary.

Due to our upcoming nuptials, date TBD ASAP, BTW,

We can now finally retire this date forever.

- R.I.P. - Good riddance.

Thank Yeezus, because your date-iversary is cursed as hell.

Whoa. I mean, I know there might have been

The occasional incident through the years,

But I don't think it's cursed.

The soy. I'm...

I'm allergic.

Oh, my gosh! Wait, wait, wait. I have an epipen.

You have a what?

Oh! .

Bruce!

Oh, my god, Springsteen live

Is a religious ex... aah!

Calabasas, baby. Calabas...

- Aah! Oh, my god! - Oh! Oh, my god!

Oh, I can't wait to try this bread pudding.

Oh, we just ran out of bread pudding.

Both: What?

Wow, that dress leaves just enough

To horny up the imagination.

- And your hair... - What?

This little two-hour, $200 Brazilian blowout?

Aah!

- Oh, my god! - Oh, oh.

- Oh, my god! Oh, god! Oh, no! - Oh.

Merely an unfortunate string of coincidental events.

- You're cursed, lady lumps. - Actually, for what it's worth,

That bread pudding bistro closed down

After they found rat droppings... In the recipe.

So us not eating it was a blessing, not a curse.

Not to mention tonight has gone off without a curse...

H-h-h-hitch.

And I even made it through the whole dinner

Without breaking my wedding diet,

Despite Kay bringing these sin-famous oatmeal bars.

Uh, we're not on your wedding diet.

Those were imported.

I saved up all my points for dessert.

It's okay.

Raise your glasses

To our last date-iversary,

And here's to breaking the curse,

Not that there ever was a curse.

You'll like this one, Liam.

cheers.

All: cheers.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, Jake, grab a flashlight.

We don't own a flashlight.

- Oh, my god! - Oh, bollocks! My leg!

- Oh! Ow! - Oh, my god. Are you okay?

Ow! Oh, .

No flashlights in there.

Everybody relax. It was just the circuit breaker.

Wow, thanks, Gil. How did you...

I can see in the dark.

Years of light sensitivity training,

Due to years of not paying my power bill.

- You all right, Liam? - Slight sprain, I'm afraid.

Sorry, Liam, I tried to warn you

- About the annicursery. - Whoa, no.

It's date-icursery. I mean, date-iversary.

And despite this minor power outage,

Resulting in little more than...

You eating out of the trash like a raccoon?

Well, they're highly intelligent animals

With opposable thumbs, so I take that as a compliment.

The point is, there's no curse.

"Tornado warning.

Seek shelter now"?

You got to be kidding me.

This says we need to seek shelter below ground now.

- Guys, I'm scared. - Kitten, I'm sure

They're just being overly cautious.

oh, no! Not Treeonce.

Okay, people, please remain calm.

I keep a B.O.B. Strategically located in each of your homes

For emergencies such as this.

- What? - B.O.B.

A bug-out bag? Hello?

Wait, Gil, you're a doomsday prepper?

We prefer "survival-istas."

Okay, everybody, grab bottled water,

Nonperishable food items and batteries,

And let's go before we all end up storm meat.

I can't believe I'm taking orders from a guy

The Chicago tribune called a cab

To get him home safely when they found him

In their lobby on shrooms.

nobody? Nothing?

- No time. - No time for it.

- Now, let's move out! - Okay, let's move.

Come on, go! Go!

Is this absolutely necessary?

- Oh, thanks, Gil. - Don't mention it, milady.

Jake, get out of the way! Get out of the way!

Okay. I already opened it, but...

You know, I've never seen this side of Gil before. He's so...

- Coherent? - Awake?

In charge... like Charles,

The guy who runs my booty boot camp.

Okay, forget about Gil. Let's talk about Liam.

When's the last time you were with a nice guy like that?

Nineteen-ninety-never?

Yeah, seriously, Den, your track record with dudes

Is ah-not great.

The helicopter DJ, the hologram denier, Lamar Odom.

D-bags, degenerates, D-listers.

stop it!

Hilarious.

Is anybody getting reception down here?

- - Damn curse.

Hey, no. We're not gonna let a little storm get us down.

You guys, let's have fun.

Oh, I know. We can play candy land.

Aah! More like spider land.

Oy! Ah!

Okay, everybody, let's get down to business.

We're going to be here a while,

So this is your toilet.

This is the kitchen.

Do not confuse the toilet and the kitchen,

Or you're going to have to go running to this guy.

Puke bucket.

Maybe we should slap a label on those.

- Get a marker. - Something.

I don't know. I think it's pretty clear.

Got the kitchen, toi...

You...

Kitchen, toi...

- You already mixed them up. - Okay.

Whoever needs to go to the bathroom first,

Go in one of these.

And then that'll be the toilet from here on out. Yes?

Is there a chance we would eat our own ?

You know what, let's just start using them,

And it'll organically sort itself out.

Now, we need to do a complete inventory of our supplies.

- Okay. - So fan out

And look for anything we can drink,

Eat, or sharpen.

I found something we can drink, I think.

"Cabernet soy-vignon"?

America's first and last soy protein wine cooler.

I stocked up after the FDA banned it on trumped-up charges

Of causing something called "super puberty."

- Let's drink. - Yeah, let's drink.

This is fun. We're here to party.

Hey, Jake, Jake! No, no, no. It's got soy.

- You're allergic. - Oh. Right.

Not exactly.

But at our last date-iversary...

Yeah. I flat-out lied.

Oh, that's good.

Five years since our first date.

Five years.

You don't meet many couples that just date for five years.

Well, no.

oh, my gosh! This is it.

oh, my god! Jake!

oh, my god!

Yes!

What are we doing, Jake, seriously?

Because I have waited... no.

Soy... the soy. I'm allergic.

- I have an epipen. - You have a what?

- Ah! - Oh! .

I mean...

Thank you. Oh, thank you for that.

Do you want me to pull it out?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Annie, I was in an impossible spot.

I mean, there was no way out without you dumping me

Or me spoiling the fact that I was already ring shopping,

And I was planning on surprising you.

You were going to go your whole life avoiding soy

Just to keep the proposal a surprise?

Well, I love my edamame, but I love my Annie-mommy more.

anybody? No?

Come on, that was gold. God, tough storage room.