The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Quiet! Somebody might hear us!

Turn out the lights.

I'll get it. I'll get it.

I got it!

Now I can't see anything!

You'll get used to it in a few seconds...

Ya-hoo!

Uh-oh.

Yee-haw!

What is going on up there?

It's the captain!

If I catch anybody up here... I'll be very surprised.

I wonder...

This should keep a lid on things for the rest of the night.

He's gone. Take the lid off.

Yeah, this is hard.

I wanna get out and play!

Okay creep... gimme.

I don't have any money!

If he ain't got money, he ain't got nothing.

- You're running out of time, creep. - No, please!

Little baby gonna cry?

Wally.

Let go!

Those are my kind of guys... real psychos.

Stop it Blythe... Juice is mine.

Come here... right here.

- What are you doing? - Put him down.

What are you gonna do to me?

Drop him.

No no no!

Thanks a lot, kid. We appreciate the donation.

Okay baby, let's go.

Good lord! You smell like a fire hydrant.

I had an accident.

Come, boy.

We'd better clean you up before the flies get to you.

Captain Manzini, when do we ever use that garbage pail?

- How long have you worked for me, boy? - Couple of months.

Have I ever forbid you to touch any of my treasures?

- This is the one exception. - Yes, sir.

Did you get the blood of a toad and the eye of a newt?

Nope, pet shop's out of unicorns, too.

No wonder there's no magic in the world today.

You can't get the ingredients.

- Here, try this on. - A dress?

Only to western eyes. This is a dashiki.

Given me by the great African tribal leader from Tuh-Tuh...

in gratitude for making his mother-in-law disappear.

You were in Africa?

Actually, I was on my way back from Egypt.

I was doing a split week in Cleveland and Cairo.

But that's a long story.

Are you gonna tell me what happened?

I got in a fight. I lost.

Losing is relative, my dear boy.

What matters is conceding with grace.

Huh?

- Who did this to you? - Some guys.

Some guys... Did you report it to the police?

Last guy who shitched on Juice

got poured into the West Side highway.

Really?

Witch's broth and vampire's brew,

make these clothes as good as new.

Let's go do some work.

Do you sell much of this stuff?

We've only had two customers, and they didn't buy anything.

Patience is a bitter vine, dear Dodger,

but it bears sweet fruit.

Huh?

That's from the Greek;

it loses a little something in translation.

Now, let's add a little sparkle to our merchandise.

Funny people should call this junk, isn't it?

When every single piece, is a... is a diary of the human spirit.

Take this, for instance.

"To my darling Mary, from Herbert."

This is more than a book. It's a testimony to love.

And this?

Did the child who slept with this...

grow up to shape the world?

Tell me about this, Captain Manzini.

An early form of air conditioning.

Also a tool of romance.

It could beckon or rebuff.

Did you ever get beckoned?

Yes. I also got rebuffed.

But, like me, this is a relic from a simpler age.

When good and bad was black and white,

and a man could settle all his differences with one of these.

Then some damn fool invented gunpowder

and a bigger damn fool split the atom.

That's when I decided to leave mankind to its folly,

and retire here into this world of memories.

- Touche! - Dodger, no!

Have you ever heard of Pandora's box?

Never heard of Pandora.

Right. Clear this up.

According to legend all the troubles in the world

were once squeezed into one tiny little box.

Oh, you got it?

Along came this nosy little girl named Pandora,

opened it up...

and let them all out.

- I don't understand. - Think of this... as Pandora's pail.

Look at that!

Look at that...

- It's so pretty! - Look at that.

What's this thing here?

That's pretty cool.

Tangerine?

Hey, Tangerine, you got a minute?

You want to come inside and take a look?

Why would I want to?

Um...

Captain Manzini's got some great stuff,

well, stuff you can use for your creations.

Come inside.

We got buttons.

We got medals too.

They're really, really great medals.

Put them on, it's just... Ow!

That's great, kid. What do you do for an encore?

Open a vein?

We got beads, we got great beads.

We got a whole bunch of little things here.

How much is this?

You touched my woman, creep.

No, no, no. I was just--

Baby, come on, he's just a kid.

He's about 12 years old.

I'm 14! I'm almost 15!

He's not worth the time it'll take to beat him up!

Forget him.

Come on, et's go have some fun. let' h f

I wish I could help you, baby.

But the little creep's gotta be taught a lesson.

It's a matter of principle.

Oh, yeah?

I think it's just a matter of you liking to see people bleed.

Ew, yuck, like an elephant blew his nose!

You made a monkey out of me, kid.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna send this scuzzball on a little journey.

Oh, come on Juicy, baby, no... Let's go play.

What are you gonna do?

Why won't you just leave me alone?

Shut up. Get down.

No! Put me down!

What are you doing?

Why won't you just leave me alone?

Don't touch me! What is wrong with you?

Ew! Oh, gross!

See you later, creep.

Hey, guys! Turn off the water.

He looks pretty bad!

Yeah. He don't smell too good either.

What if he needs a doctor?

Hey, got any iodine in there?

Let's see.

Yeah. Looks good, too.

- Don't! That's poison. - Hey!

Drink the red, and you'll get dead.

Poor little guy, I hope he doesn't have to have a shot.

Hope we can help him!

This will make him wake up!

- Pee-yew! - Ew, gross!

Put a cork in it!

Are you okay? You sure took a bad fall.

What are you?

What are we?

Same to you, buddy.

- Let's get out of here. - Yeah.

Let's go.

Hey, get out of that chair. It's the captain's chair.

Leave the chair alone.

Stop that, please.

Stop it you guys! You guys, stop it! Hey!

You leave me alone.

Put the stuff down, it's not yours.

- Hey, put these back! - Hey, back off!

- Don't touch that! - This is my turf!

My God! It's cousin Charlie!

Put this back!

Please, don't touch this!

What are you doing?

You did this? How'd you like to get stuffed?

- La-la-la-la-la... - Mommy?

Here. You take it!

Hey, this is fun!

Oh my God.

Attention!

You let them out! You let them out of the garbage pail!

- I don't know what happened, honest! - You don't?

- Hi Captain, long time no see. - La-la-la-la-la...

Alright, children, we've had our fun.

Come on, back into the garbage pail.

- No way! - Uh-uh.

- That pail be jail. Uh-uh. - Yeah!