Living in Peril

#LIVING IN PERIL#

Hello? - Walter? Martin Campbell,

Oh, hi Mr. Campbell. - Walter. I'm nervous. Very nervous.

I don't like to be nervous. I want you to reassure me that you can handle this,

and that we wont have the same problems we had with that Wilson account.

Well Mr. Campbell, it's not my fault we lost the Wilson account.

Those people had unreasonable demands. - Yeah, they were a bunch of Jackasses,

you and I know that, but the other partners dont see it that way.

I'm going out on a limb for you, Waiter. You're a good boy,

but if you screw this one up, we're gonna have to clear out your desk.

I understand that, Mr. Campbell. - Just make the client happy.

The customer is always right.Remember that, if he wants his goddamned toilet nailed

to the ceiling, you just say "yes sir" and do it, no arguments.

Hey. I'll design this house anyway the guy wants it. - Fine.

Good news is all I want to hear from you, I dont want to have to start popping

those goddamned antacids again. I'll talk to you later.

All right. Thanks for checking in.

It's eighty-one degrees in Hollywood, near record heat in downtown LA.

This afternoon and certainly triple digits in the valleys...

On a day like this the heat plus hurry equals a lot of frustration

on Southern California freeways. Especially when the car ahead overheats and stalls.

K.F.W.B's Ron Kilmore reports from Glendale...

Can sum it up in one word...wheeeuuu! It is really, really warm out here...

Hello - Hi. It's me - Hey, honey. - I tried you before but your line was busy.

Yeah, I was on the phone with Campbell, - Is there a problem?

No. I don't think I'd be on my way to LA. for a month if there was. We'li be okay.

If know you're gonna do great. Hey! I felt the baby move today!

Really? - Yeah! - I love you. - Do not. - Do too.

You getting any sleep? - Yeah, sure. Yeah.

You're having those nightmares again, aren't you?- I can't hide anything from you.

You should of come down here with me.- Naw, I got to face my demons

on my own, you know? - Well, I guess that's part of the regeneration process.

Regeneration process? That's a weird word.

Sounds like I'm gonna grow an arm back or something.

Hello? - Sorry. My fault. It's my...

Hello? - Sorry! - What?

Hello? Hello, Walter?

Hey. Come on! I'm Sorry! - What?

All right? Jezus!

What's going on? - Nothing. Just a...

Walter?

Hello? Walter...

Walter, Walter... what's going on?

Walter? - Damn it. You idiot!

Walter! - I gotta call you back.

How am I driving? I'll tell you how you're driving, you asshole!

Hey you bastard! What the hell are you doing?

It's your own damn fault if you dont watch where you're going!

Yeah, you could've killed me! - Well isn't that just tough luck, dickhead!

Well, that's nice. You know what? I'm calling the police!

Yeah? Well you do that and I'll kill you. You little faggot!

Jezus! Hey! What the...?

North 1-5 before Stadium Way, a couple of right lanes tied up around a wreck,

involving an overturned car, and rubbemeckers are really crawling now

in both directions. And north on... - Carnal Transporters? - Yeah. Hello.

I just had an unbelievable experience with one of your drivers.

What happened? - Well he tried to run me off the road! You know what?

I'm calling the police, okay, so just... - Sir.

Can you just calm down and give me your fuit name please? - okay...all right.

My name is Walter Woods. - How do you spell that?

What do you mean, how do you spell that?

It's W...A...L...T...E...R... W...O...O...D...S.

Phone number? - My phone number? It's 2-1-3-5-7-6...

Hello there! Stranger!

Hello! Hello!

Hey! Up here!

Hello there. Can I help you?

I'm here to rent an apartment. - You'll have to talk to the manager.

I'll come down and help you.

Hey, hey, Jezus. Are you okay?

Sure, sure. I'm from East Berlin. I practiced this jump during five years.

Then when I was ready to make my escape, they've torn down the wall.

Dieter Krankbaum is my name. - Walter Woods.

You're name Walter. You are perhaps also coming from Germany?

No, I'm... coming from Seattle. - Well then Wafter...

Welcome to paradise,

Now let's see if we can get this little door open.

The manager wants it to stay locked 'cause there's so many strange characters

running around in this area.

So, are you here on business. - Oh...yeah...

Perfect. I came here two years ago to sell pieces of the Berlin Wall.

So you can do anything you want in this crazy country.

I, myself, am going to become a standup comedian.

You see, I plan to tell East German jokes. Can you imagine.

Jokes that nobody has heard for over forty years,

This, this one for example... Hello Wilfred.

The name is William! - How are you jay?

This is, Walter from Seattle, he's new here so I helped him in.

Hello. - Maybe we should take a look at his apartment.

Which apartment is... - Dieter. I take over from here. Thank you.

All right, If you say so. It was nice to meet you Walter.

And, if you need anything else... - Dieter. Good-bye.

Okay Wilfred. See you later, boys.

Fucking Kraut.

So you're the architect from Seattle. - Yeah. That's right.

Rent and deposit's fifteen hundred dollars, you can write me a check

while I go get your key. Your apartment's on the top floor.

Actually, this is my favorite apartment in the whole building.

I decorated this one myself. Now you're better off turning on the air-conditioning

instead of leaving the windows open this time of year because the smog will be

so gawd-awful it'll stick in your throat if you're not careful.

And for a guy like you that's not from around here

... you could suffocate to death.

Thermostat.

Bedroom.

And, this thing here, on-off-on-off-on-off.

Kitchen. Gas, water. Hot, cold.

There's no pets allowed in here and there's no music to be played after eleven p.m.

and you must keep the entrance door downstairs locked at all times.

Could you do something about this? - About what? - About this.

I'll tell you, the thing about renting out apartments

is that the wear and tear on things is just unbelievable.

So you say you're an architect? - Yeah.

What kind of architect? - I'm here to design a big home in Beverly Hills.

A big shot? - No. But, maybe after this job.

Isn't that swell. I hope you can take care of things by yourself,

cause I get hoards of people pounding on my door

every time a god-damned light bulb bums out.

Wha... what do they think I'm suppose to do about it?

What about my freezer? - I know, I know. Here.

Here are your keys on the table. Have a good night.

Hello? - Hey honey, it's me.

Hey. You there yet? - Yeah, I just got here.

What happened before in the car? - Some idiot tried to run me off the road.

Oh my god, did you call the police? - No.

He had one of those 'how am I driving' stickers so I just called and reported him.

Are you okay? - Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Is that the doorbell?

Yeah. Janet's coming to stay for the night. - Jezus. Hide the valuables.

Walter. - I'm sorry. I know she's your friend, but...

You know, if you want Janet to with you it's, it's fine with me,

I want you to be happy and comfortable. - I know you do.

But she can't stay the whole month, though. - No, course she can't.

I... I'm just trying to take this one day at a time. - All right. Listen.

I got to go. - Yeah. Me too. Bye. - Bye.

So what was that about? - We've been married six months

and I keep trying to explain it to him. But maybe I'm expecting too much.

Maybe... just because we're married doesn't mean he has to feel everything I gothrough.

Linda? Al! right, he's a guy. And you can't exactfy expect empathy.

But a little sympathy from your husband isn't out of line.

I mean, Oliver almost killed you. You don't just...

dismiss something like that. - Maybe he just doesnt want to be

reminded that I was married before. - I think you're right.

I mean, deep down, men all want their woman to be virgins,

untouched by the world and other men.

Who's there?!

Hello?

Hello!

Jezus! Where did you come from?

I was up on the roof. What were you doing?

Well, there was someone at my door. - Really?

Yeah. Was it you? Did you want something? - No.

Well, someone was there. Hey, I heard someone outside here.

Just a minute!

I'm coming!

Housewarming. My, my.

Your apartment is considerably larger than mine.

See, I always say, start the day with a morning beer and a morning fuck;

Unfortunately, the morning fuck is somewhat rare these days. Cheers, my friend.

Holy Schiesse, now this is an interesting gadget. - That's my phone.

What? Did you cry over your drawings?

What the hell?

I don't mean to be rude, but doesnt it smell like piss in here?

There's piss on my plans! - Maybe it's rat piss.

Rat piss? - Sure, they get in through the toilets.

We had a lot of trouble with rats in East Berlin.

They used to snake their way out of the toilets.

Well, this must have been a really big rat. There's a lot of piss here.

Sure. They're toilet rats. They can be as big as you like.

Well, well, what should I do about it? - Buy yourself a pistol.

A pistol. - Sure, it's the only thing that works on these damn rodents.

In Berlin, I had to sleep with a shotgun under my pillow. - What?!?

If you're interested, I have a friend who can get you a gun, right now,

without all that paperwork, and quite cheaply too. I'll give you his number here,

so you can arrange for some... heavy... duty... response.

Fritz. - Yes, he's a character,

Fritz, but he'll get you what you need in an hour. Just say hello from Dieter.

Oh, god, I gotta go! - But we haven't finished our beers!

Yeah, yeah, I know. We'll have to take a rain check.

There's no rain to check. - No, no, I mean, we'll do it another time.

Of course, of course. Can I just tell you one of my jokes?

This is really hilarious. My grandfather, Klaus Krankbaum, always used

to tell me this joke as a little boy. - Yeah. Right. Yeah.

All right my friend. You see there was this man and his parrot, Reginald.

Hi - Hi.

Allo, Katherine. - I guess we must be neighbors.

We should get together some time. - Sure.

Bye.- Good-bye. Holy, holy.

I'd like to tie her up and show her my bratwurst. But she'd be too expensive.

She's a...

I gotta go. - See you.

Mr. Harrison?

Walter Woods. Sorry I'm late.

You know. I know we have a reputation for being laid back here in L.A.

But I like it when people are on time.

I'm sorry, that canyon was pretty confusing, I got lost.

Well I suggest you take some time and look at a map so this doesn't happen again.

I have a very busy schedule, and I do not like to be kept waiting.

I understand... it won't happen again.

Good. All right! Here we are.

What do you think? - a little smoggy.