Evil Eye

-(tires screech) -(car door opens, closes)

My darling.

No. Don’t come near me.

I’m asking you nicely.

Come with me!

Stop fighting me!

Hello.

Hello?

Are you asleep?

-(match strikes) -PALLAVI: It’s 7:00 in the morning, Ma.

Fine.

I’ll call you later.

No, it’s okay.

What’s up?

Shobha Aunty just called.

Abhishek got engaged.

Mm-hmm.

Did you hear what I said?

-Mm-hmm. Yeah. -(phone beeps)

Your youngest cousin just got engaged.

You’re the only one left.

Oh, what a shame.

I should never have left America.

I should have only come back to India

after finding you a husband.

-Uh-huh. -What "uh-huh"?

Just let me be, Ma. I’m okay.

I’m not cursed. I keep telling you.

How can you say that?

You’re turning 29 soon.

Yeah, last year of my 20s.

No. You know what your horoscope says.

If you’re not married by 29,

then you won’t be married at all.

Won’t get married at all-- what a tragedy.

Tell Pallavi what you think.

Astrology is unscientific nonsense.

Love you.

You’re both gonna torture me to death.

A good marriage doesn’t happen just like that.

You have to take this seriously, okay, Pallu?

If you’re not careful...

...bad things could happen.

Ma, why do you always assume the worst?

Ma? Hello?

I’m your mother, no? That’s my job.

-(sighs) -Are you wearing your bracelet?

Yes, I am wearing it.

Good. It will protect you

from the evil eye, darling.

Good. I love it.

Can I go back to sleep now?

Yes, yes.

Sorry. Take rest.

Okay, sure.

-Talk to you soon. -Bye.

I can’t believe you’re gonna be a mom.

I feel like one already.

I’m so in love with this little goblin.

I’d do anything for her.

Can I help with anything, Malik?

-Nah, I got it. -Good,

-’cause I don’t know how to make chai. -Oh.

-(chuckles) -(phone vibrating)

("Really Made It Man" by Spencer Wilson and Emerson Ware playing)

It’s like she heard me articulate my failings as

-an Indian woman. -You want me to teach you how to make chai?

-Hi, Ma. -Hello, darling.

What’s that music?

: Oh, you wouldn’t know it.

I like it.

Look who I’m with.

Hello, Kelly.

You look so beautiful.

Aw, thanks, Mrs. Khatri.

Where’s Malik?

Oh, he’s in the kitchen making chai.

-Hi, Mrs. Khatri. Sweet boy.

Even Pallavi doesn’t know how to make tea.

What’s up, Ma?

So, Pallu, okay, I wanted to...

No.

I’m not meeting another boy.

That is not why I called.

Uh-huh. Sure.

Well, since I’ve got you on the phone...

Look, darling. He looks handsome, no?

Oh, yeah, he’s very professional.

See? Kelly also likes him.

He lives in Houston, but he’s going to New Orleans

this weekend, and he said he could meet you.

Wait, you’ve already arranged this?

We have to move fast.

He doesn’t even live here.

There are no Indians in New Orleans.

-What am I supposed to do? -(chuckles): Ma.

Okay, we talked about this.

I can’t do these setups anymore.

I’m not saying marry him. I’m just saying go for coffee.

What are we saying?

I’m trying to talk to your daughter.

What is she saying?

Oh, trying to find Pallavi a man who can make chai.

Amma, these things never work out.

But what if it does this time

and then you say no without even trying?

How’s the chai? It’s not too hot, is it?

(conversation continues indistinctly)

Fine.

The things I do for you.

So, what’d your mom say about this one?

The usual: engineer...

-Mm-hmm. -...hikes on the weekends...

-Mm. -...likes music.

-Likes music? -Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Okay.

-Is he in there? -Oh, yeah.

-(clears throat) -How bad is it?

-Oh, shit. -(groans) Great.

He’s hot.

What?

(gentle pop music playing over speakers)

-That’s not him. -Mm. It should be.

It could be.

-Hey, just... go with it. -(chuckles)

Honest mistake.

-All brown dudes look alike. -(Pallavi laughing)

Right?

Oh, come on.

Hey.

Have we met?

Wow. Use that line a lot?

: Uh, sorry.

Uh...

you are waiting on a setup, aren’t you?

What?

You’ve been looking out the window

for a while now, waiting for someone.

But if it was a regular date, you might have bailed by now.

So I’m guessing you probably have to report

back to your parents, so you’re sticking around.

Is that right?

God, setups are the absolute worst, aren’t they?

Yeah.

: Yeah.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to...

-No. Yeah. -Sorry. Yeah.

Take care.

Well, I mean...

...he’s not here yet.

No, he’s not.

I’m Sandeep.

Pallavi.

Beautiful name.

Thank you.

(pop music playing over speakers)

Hey, sorry.

Was there an Indian girl waiting here?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, she left a few minutes ago.

He was over an hour late, Ma.

Of course I left.

Just like that?

Where are you now?

-With Sonia. -You can see Sonia anytime.

How can you do this, Pallu?

He’s a decent boy from a good family.

I didn’t even want to meet him in the first place.

It doesn’t matter.

How does it not matter?

’Cause we are doing this for your happiness, for your future.

When your commander says drop to the ground,

you drop to the ground.

Ma, this is not the army. You are not my commander.

I don’t have to blindly obey you.

I’m asking you to trust me.

-Why can’t you just... -(bell jingles)

Why can’t I meet someone on my own?

Ma?

Hello?

-Hello? -Yes.

Yes.

Of course you can meet someone yourself.

I just don’t want you to...