Krypton

Zod's plan is to conquer the entire universe,

colonize other planets, rule over their people.

We already have a plan.

Wegthor, home of our resistance.

- If Brainiac escaped... - Then maybe Seg did, too.

You killed Brainiac?

All my life, all you have done is made me afraid.

Jayna, Vidar, you will follow in the footsteps

of those who have come before you,

or you will die trying.

Don't leave me here! Jayna!

Jayna, Jayna.

How long do we wait for Nyssa?

We don't. She's either captured or dead, Val.

It is time for this resistance to end,

and I need you to convince him of this.

- And if I refuse? - I will raise young Cor-Vex myself.

No, no!

Shithead detected.

You little candy asses ain't felt nothing yet.

It's been six months, and we are still

no closer to locating Doomsday.

Where are we looking?

Sensors picked up something around Sector 2...

Probably nothing.

Let's get in closer.

Hold on, I think I have something.

Where'd it go? Did we lose it?

I can't see it on the...

- It's Val-El. - That's Jax-Ur.

- Sir, thank you. - Commander, thank you.

We're glad you're here.

Sir, thank you.

Commander, sir.

That bastard down there has stolen our better tomorrow.

We're stealing it back!

Adam. Adam.

Adam.

Adam!

Wouldn't bother trying to get out of those chains.

Never going to happen.

This one? Nah, you're right.

Not disco enough for a big boy like you, is it?

Ah...

This one.

Oh, he's awake.

Shh.

He's having one of those happy dreams.

Wakey, wakey, hands off snakey.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, ain't you a little cutie?

Oh, well, thank you. I like to think so myself.

What's this?

- That's my... - Don't care.

Right, what do you say there, numbnuts?

Ready for some fun?

I think we should define fun first.

Uh, and also, my name is Seg-El, not "numbnuts."

Anything you say, Seagull.

So I was thinking of getting my machete

and cutting a teeny. Tiny little hole

right there next to your teeny, tiny little belly button.

And then I was going to rip out

those pesky intestines of yours,

'cause, I mean, who needs them?

Uh, yeah, no, yeah, I need them.

Listen, uh, I don't know who you are...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a joke, right?

He's a funny guy, right? He's a funny guy.

Yeah, he is.

Doesn't know who I am. That's good, I like it.

Almost had me going there for a second.

No, I'm being serious. I don't know who you are.

You're in the presence of The Main Man.

The Main Man? Really?

Come on!

Assassin to Royalty? Scourge Of The Cosmos?

The Last Czarnian? Ultimate Bastich?

Machete Man, Mister Machete, Master Machete?

Mister Frag, Master Frag?

Archbishop of the First Celestial Church

of the Triple Fish-God?

None of this is ringing a bell?

Son of a bastich!

Everyone knows who I am.

Wow, okay.

The name's Lobo.

Thank you!

So you have heard of me, yeah?

So then you'll know what my name means, yes?

No?

It means "he who devours his enemies' entrails

and enjoys it."

I'm just jerkin' your gherkin, man.

I have no idea what it means.

I killed my parents before they could tell me, so...

Listen, uh, Lobo.

Uh, we don't want to waste your time.

So I got to tell you, I think you got the wrong guys.

I know I've got the wrong fraggin' guys!

I know.

It's why I'm going to use your intestines

to strangle this saucy little minx.

And then I'm going to crack open his head

and drop a big old dirty deuce inside his skull.

I'm... I'm sorry. I'm having a really hard time here

understanding how those connect.

I mean, just the sheer fraggin' spectacle of it all

ought to loosen up old Seagull's tongue over there

so he can tell me where the frag the Green Gooch is!

Wait! Wait. Let me say just one thing.

Is it good-bye? Better make it good-bye.

It'd make more sense if it was good-bye.

How about Brainiac?

That's who you're looking for, right?

The Green Gooch? It's Brainiac.

You know, I've been spending a long time

looking for that a-hole.

And then something activates

the shithead scanner I left here,

and when I arrive, what do I find?

You two ass-smears and no Brainiac.

Now, why is that? Because he's dead.

I killed him. You?

With your long eyelashes and your beautiful, soft skin

and that beautiful smell... You smell like a meadow, nah.

It's a true story. He really did.

I-I can vouch for him.

I can take you to the body if you want.

Counter proposal... You tell me where his body is,

or I paint the forest floor with your medulla oblongata.

No, no, no, no, no. That's not going to happen.

See, we're going to take you to the body,

you're going to let us go,

and nothing is going to get painted.

Huh? Sound like a deal?

Fine! Have it your way.

But fair fraggin' warning.

If there is no body there when I arrive,

best believe there will be two when I leave...

as in you and pretty pants over there.

- Oh, that sounds fair. - Watch your eyes.

Report just in...

Doomsday took out two of our skimmers in the Outlands.

Both pilots were killed.

Comm chatter suggests they engaged first.

Well, we knew capture would be a challenge.

But at least we have a... A challenge?

They didn't stand a chance, and neither pilot knew

they were signing up for a suicide mission.

They were Sagitari.

Like you and I, they knew the risk.

Speak your mind.

Doomsday aside,

our casualties on Wegthor are absolutely unacceptable.

And it's because they are not Sagitari like you and I,

not even close.

They are ex-Rankless conscripts,

and slapping a uniform on them

and handing them a blaster doesn't change that.

- What do you propose? - Send me up there.

Let me assess their abilities,

better integrate them with more seasoned Sagitari.

Give me a chance.

I can get them into shape, and we can finally end this war.

You're right.

For many of them, basic training was rushed...

by necessity.

That needs to change.

And I agree, you would make an excellent instructor...

but here, in Kandor.

No, no that's not what I'm saying.

I know what you're saying, and this is me saying no.

Yes, General.

Lyta.

I can't have anything happen to you up there.

I need you close.

Besides, with the plan we've put in motion,

the battle for Wegthor will soon be over,

and the Resistance will be shattered.

So you can breathe on the surface.

You've got a long hike ahead of you.

The Rebels are that way.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I stutter?

Move!

And not a word of a lie...

That mother-fragger gets my entire city

and puts it inside a fraggin' bottle!

A bottle. Yeah, Brainiac will do that.

I ain't finished. I ain't finished.

So what happens next?

Oh, well, that's a great question... thank you for asking.

After that, the moldy douche-baguette

proceeds to destroy my entire fraggin' planet,

and then... get a load of this...

Then pisses off in his massive,

clearly "overcompensating for something" ship.

Wait, Brainiac killed your entire race?

Exactly. Well, ye... no.

Truth be told, they were already dead.

I kind of created a swarm of scorpion-rattlers