Gary and His Demons

Come on, Lads. Let's wish this little buggera McTipsy style Irish happy birthday.

Well, it's birthday time in Ireland and joy is all around. On this day your birthday wishes are come out.

Oh potatoes grow abundantly than one year they did not.

Okay, that's plenty. Thank you. Thanks guys. Going out, going out, going out.

Okay, listen everyone. I am going to make a toast to Gary.

You may be another year older, but you're not any closer to retiring.

Thank you, guys. I'm going to go play some pinball.

Well, because I was going to say another year bolder and then I was going to kind of go,

Oh, I say bolder. I meant bolder.

You know that's amazing. That would have been incredible if you wouldn't doubt that.

Okay, what do we got here? Drumming game, dancing game, puzzle bitch.

Hey pussy, stack these blocks.

Okay, I guess so.

It's sir coins, bitch.

I did insert them. It's sir coins, you weak bugger.

I did insert. Oh, puzzle bitch.

Oh my god, why is there a baby on the floor?

Oh, oh, oh.

Ah.

Ha, ha, ha. Anybody lose a baby? Here you go, man.

Thank you. Can I get you anything else?

Okay, well, if you need anything, let me know. My name's Tucker.

That, that, that, that.

I'm telling you, Essie, this Tucker kid is the new chosen one.

You should have seen the way he moved.

A lot of waiters have good reflexes, Gary.

Besides, we've been down this rope before.

I'm not a boy you thought was the chosen one because he beat you at squash.

Kids aren't supposed to be good at squash, lass.

It's a professor's game. It was weird how good he was.

Dexterous and had the mind for it.

Listen, I've got to get back to the minister and explain to accounting why we owe $50,000 to an Irish bar.

Why don't you take the rest of the day off? Enjoy your birthday.

Mmm.

Come on, family, we got to go.

Gary, what the heck? Wait, wait, my car door is still open.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!

So this kid has all the signs, eh, Gary?

The mole of Brad, the dewey stash of Gendadish?

Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure about those ones, but he does have like super strength, super speed.

Oh, the mean ones.

Well, actually, Gary, those traits don't usually manifest till later.

In the presence of extreme danger.

It's the mole. That's the biggie.

The mole, huh?

I guess I'll have to see you naked, Tucker.

Yeah, so I definitely heard what you said there.

Did Leslie sign off on any of this?

Yeah, I think so. I don't really remember. Oh, shit. Football practice.

You're gonna go keep it, Tucker. Well, he's changing.

Not even gonna try and sugarcoat the way you say that, huh?

All right, team. Before we head out there, I just want to say a few words.

Now, a few months ago, I was just a former NFL player, J.D.D.

Due to a career ending injury, and addicted to pills.

But being sentenced to coach you, kids has given me a duly-sund life.

But it was touch and go there for a bit, you remember?

We didn't get along at first, didn't we?

No, there were days when I was like, these guys really hate me.

And then my wife, Karen would say, oh, they're just showing you tough love.

And I'd say, no, Karen, they hate me.

I think I know the difference between tough love and hate.

And she'd say, don't yell at me, Carl. I'm not the one you mad at.

And I'd be like, I think I can be mad at one of one person, Karen.

It's called multitasking, ever heard of it.

And she'd say, if you're gonna yell like that, then I'm going to my mother's.

That's a guy, man! Maybe I can get the piece of water!

Oh, my gosh, coach. Look.

Jesus, will we go to Parliament? Get him, kids!

Oh, crap, go, Hanley. Go, go, go, go.

Go where, gear?

Go to the car, obviously. You fucking moron.

Oh, oh, shit.

What the hell's going on here?

You spiced from the rich team and just run to the mill, Proverts.

Listen, we're from the demon ministry, and we're fairly certain

that one of your players is the new chosen one.

We just need to get him naked so I can check him from all.

Please. Ah, screw it.

Tuck her! We'll start with the shared bad.

I'm not here!

Oh, good God.

Hey, this is Junior Football, mister.

This sort of behavior was barely tolerated, Eddie Boy.

Let me show.

Oh.

Oh, yeah! That's how you doggle.

So, our son is some sort of superhero?

Well, actually.

Yes, absolutely. Your son is like all your favorite superhero's combined.

Superman, Batman.

Oh, the flash?

Sure. Yeah. The flash. Sure.

Oh, the flash. Hanley, we love the flash.

Oh, yeah, I love the flash. He's so fast.

I love how he's fast.

So, yeah, your son is an actual hero.

So, let's focus on that.