Avengers: Infinity War

This is the Asgardian

refugee vessel Statesman.

We are under assault.

I repeat, we are under assault.

The engines are dead, life support failing.

Requesting aid from any vessel within range.

We are 22 jump points out of Asgard.

Our crew is made up of Asgardian families.

We have very few soldiers here.

This is not a warcraft.

I repeat, this is not a warcraft.

Hear me and rejoice.

You have had the privilege

of being saved by the Great Titan.

You may think this is suffering.

No.

It is salvation.

Universal scales tip toward balance

because of your sacrifice.

Smile.

For even in death,

you have become Children of Thanos.

I know what it's like to lose.

To feel so desperately that you're right...

yet to fail, nonetheless.

It's frightening.

Turns the legs to jelly.

But I ask you, to what end?

Dread it, run from it...

destiny arrives all the same.

And now, it's here.

Or should I say...

I am.

You talk too much.

The Tesseract.

Or your brother's head.

I assume you have a preference.

Oh, I do.

Kill away.

All right, stop!

We don't have the Tesseract.

It was destroyed on Asgard.

You really are the worst brother.

I assure you, brother...

the sun will shine on us again.

Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.

Well, for one thing, I'm not Asgardian.

And for another...

we have a Hulk.

Let him have his fun.

Allfathers...

let the dark magic flow through me one last...

time.

That was a mistake.

No!

You're going to die for that.

Shh.

My humble personage...

bows before your grandeur.

No other being has ever had the might...

nay, the nobility...

to wield not one, but two Infinity Stones.

The universe lies within your grasp.

There are two more stones on Earth.

Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan.

Father, we will not fail you.

If I might interject.

If you're going to Earth, you might want a guide.

I do have a bit of experience in that arena.

If you consider failure experience.

I consider experience experience.

Almighty Thanos...

I, Loki, prince of Asgard...

Odinson...

the rightful king of Jotunheim...

god of mischief...

do hereby pledge to you...

my undying fidelity.

Undying?

You should choose your words more carefully.

You...

will never be...

a god.

No!

No resurrections this time.

No. Loki.

Seriously, you don't have any money?

Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual.

I'll tell the guys at the deli.

Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham on rye.

Oh. Wait, wait, wait. I think I have 200.

Dollars?

- Rupees. - Which is?

Uh, buck and a half.

What do you want?

I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt.

Thanos is coming.

He's coming.

Who?

Slow down, slow down. I'll spell it out for you.

You're totally rambling.

- No, I'm not. - You lost me.

Look, you know how you're having a dream,

and in the dream you gotta pee.

- Yeah. - Okay.

And then you're like, "Oh, my God.

"There's no bathrooms. What am I gonna do?

- "Oh, someone's watching." - Right.

"Oh, I'm gonna go in my pants."

And then you wake up and in real life

you actually have to pee.

- Yes. - Yeah.

- Okay. - Everybody has that.

Right, that's the point I'm trying to make.

Apropos of that, last night I dreamt we had a kid.

It was so real.

We named him after your eccentric uncle.

Uh, what was his name?

- Right. - Morgan! Morgan.

- So you woke up... - Naturally.

...and thought that we were...

- Expecting. - Yeah.

- Yes? - No.

I had a dream about it. It was so real.

If you wanted to have a kid...

you wouldn't have done that.

I'm glad you brought this up, 'cause it's nothing.

It's just a housing unit for nanoparticles.

You're not helping your case, okay?

No, this is detachable. It's not a...

You don't need that.

I know, I had the surgery.

I'm just trying to protect us...

and future usses and that's it.

Just in case there's a monster in the closet.

- Instead of, you know... - Shirts.

You know me so well.

- God. - You finish all my sentences.

You should have shirts in your closet.

Yeah.

You know what there should be? No more surprises.

We're gonna have a nice dinner tonight.

Show off this Harry Winston.

Right? And we should have no more surprises. Ever.

I should promise you.

- Yes. - I will.

Thank you.

Tony Stark.

I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me.

Oh, uh, congratulations on the wedding, by the way.

I'm sorry, you giving out tickets to something?

We need your help.

It's not overselling it to say that

the fate of the universe is at stake.

And who's "we"?

Hey, Tony.

Bruce.

- Pepper. - Hi.

- Oh. - You okay?

At the dawn of the universe,

there was nothing. Then...

Boom.

The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals...

hurtling across the virgin universe.

These Infinity Stones

each control an essential aspect of existence.

Space.

Reality.

Power.

Soul.

Mind.

And Time.

Tell me his name again.

Thanos.

He's a plague, Tony.

He invades planets. He takes what he wants.

He wipes out half the population.

He sent Loki.

The attack on New York, that's him.

This is it.

What's our timeline?

No telling. He has the Power and Space Stones.

That already makes him

the strongest creature in the whole universe.

If he gets his hands on all six stones, Tony...

He could destroy life

on a scale hitherto undreamt of.

Did you seriously just say "hitherto undreamt of"?

Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?

Is that what it is?

I'm going to allow that.

If Thanos needs all six, why don't we just

stick this one down a garbage disposal?

No can do.

We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives.

And I swore off dairy...

but then Ben & Jerry's named a flavor after me.

- Stark Raving Hazelnuts. - Not bad.

A bit chalky.

A Hunk of Hulk of Burning Fudge is our favorite.