Ted Lasso

Tartt, edge of the area.

He has options. Chooses Rojas.

What a goal! Great finish.

You have to say, Chris, from where they started the season,

this Richmond team is unrecognizable!

What a turnaround for AFC Richmond!

And with that Dani Rojas goal, Richmond are now on a four-game winning streak.

They've certainly turned things around

since adding their former captain to the coaching staff, Wrighty?

Absolutely, Seems.

And watching Richmond play, you could definitely see the Roy Kent effect.

And that leads them nicely into Saturday's FA Cup quarterfinal clash

against Premiership side Tottenham Hotspur.

Yeah, good luck with that.

It kills me to say it, but Tottenham are a top top side.

Unbelievable team.

Coming up next, we'll preview the quarterfinal

between Bournemouth and Southampton.

-Do you want a cup of tea? -Yes, please.

-Sugar? -No, thank you.

Luca, do you believe in guardian angels?

Are they like Guardians of the Galaxy?

Wait, are you naked in my kitchen?

Wearing a smile.

Put some clothes on!

Mina the cleaner will be here any second.

Mina. Do you want some tea?

Will there be biscuits with that?

Mother.

Hello, darling.

I've left your father.

Wait, your mum's your cleaner?

No.

He doesn't listen to me. He doesn't respect me.

And Esther Perel says it takes two people to create a pattern

but only one to change it.

I am that change.

Good for you.

Luca, will you please put some clothes on?

I'll start in the study.

Yes, thank you.

Hey, Liza. Saw your Instagram post on Sunday.

Way to keep that ice bucket challenge alive.

-Morning. -Hey, Derek.

Great morning, Isabelle.

-Yes. -Hey, Ted.

Hey, Liam. Hey, tell your mom happy birthday for me.

And whatever gift you end up getting her, let her know it's from both of us, huh?

-Morning. How y'all doing? -Morning.

You're doing great work, Colin. And I love your new mantra.

I'm a strong and capable man. I am not a piece of shit.

-You don't need the second part. -Right.

-Morning, Colin. -Hey.

Hey, Doc. You get in any trouble last night?

Nothing I care to speak about at work.

Doc, you are more mysterious than David Blaine

reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51.

Well, Ted, make an appointment when you need to talk.

Hey, I talk all the time, Doc.

Just let me follow you around for ten minutes.

After five, you'll want me to hush my butt.

-Lookee here. -Morning, Ted.

Hey. I tell you what, I'm shipping the heck out of you two.

I'm calling HR.

Yeah, well, tell Mr. Pufnstuf I said hello.

That is a joke for people born in the early to mid '70s.

And then they just changed the shape of the tortellini…

Well, I don't know about you fellas, but I am fired up for this FA Cup thing.

I mean, come on.

A March Madness tournament in the middle of our season

featuring every dang team in the country?

Yes, please.

I mean, what we got? Davids versus Goliaths, right?

You know? Rockys versus Apollos. Steve Wiebes against Billy Mitchells.

-What's another one, Coach? -Pearl Jam versus Ticketmaster.

Classic battle of art versus commerce right there. Yeah.

I got a question for you though.

Has a team not in the Premier League, à la us, ever won the whole chimichanga?

-Eight times. -Eight times. Really?

But not for 40 years.

What have we got here?

Uh-oh. You back into floating office mode, huh?

Yeah. But it's no bother.

I'm a flaneur by nature.

I get that, yeah.

Hey, Coach, what's a flaneur?

A wanderer.

-What the fuck's wrong with you? -Nothing.

Jane and I got back together.

-Great news. -Well, that's nice.

-Fantastic. -How about that. Look at you guys.

Do you really think that's a good idea?

Shit. Two missed calls from her.

Be right back!

I'd like to request an emergency meeting of the Diamond Dogs.

Diamond Dogs, mount up.

-Hey, Roy, you wanna sit in with us? -No.

Okay. Yeah, shut that.

He looks a little bit--

Yeah, you're gonna come in through here. That's fine. I got you.

Just-- Do you wanna--

Dukes of Hazzard style,

or as you guys probably call it, "the Earls of Risk."

-Just go round. -Yeah. Why don't you come legs first?

You wanna-- You wanna jump in?

You'd be in here if you just went round.

-Ready? Here he comes. Right-- -I'm just gonna stay here.

That's fine. Good idea. Probably best.

All right. Okay, Higgiebottoms, you called this puppy, so start barking.

Well, I'm just not sure that Jane and Beard are very healthy together.

And I'm a little bit disappointed

that neither of you backed me up when I just said so.

Okay. Calling us out.

I appreciate that and I hear you, but--

I mean, in my defense, I know why I didn't say anything.

-And why's that? -'Cause you should never say anything.

And look, man, I learned that the hard way.

One of my best friends growing up was this fella, Marcus Girard.

He dated the same girl from grade school to high school to college, whole time.

And she could be a little bit of a pill, if I'm being honest, you know?

No reason to start lying now.

And, well, I let him know that. I told him so.

And he was not too pleased, all right?

And that is the last time I ever gave a best man speech.

I mean, yeah, I try to be outwardly supportive of all relationships

due to my dad sabotaging one of my first loves.

In year four, he sat me and my classmate, Nadia Shookums, down

in the living room and said he thought we could both do better.

Well, she listened to him.

Boy, that's a heaping spoonful of truth soup right there.

Yeah. I know.

Look, Higgins, I just think it's bad business

to get all up in anyone else's business, you know?

Okay, I understand.

So even though this is an unsanctioned meeting because Beard wasn't here,

let's just go ahead and Diamond Dogs dismount.

Stupid barking means it's over, right?

Yes, sir. Welcome back.

-Ay, ay, ay. That was a doozy. -What's wrong?

Jane's roommate flipped out on her.

-Kicked her out of the house. -Oh, no.

So now she's moving in with me.

That's good.

That's great news. Congratulations.

Thanks, guys.

All right. Chin up, lads.

Come on, Colin. You dolt.

Colin, you're leaning too far back.

Head down, fucking whip it.

I am a strong and capable man.

Thanks, Roy.

Bumbercatch, great pass,

but it don't mean shit if they see it coming.

The rest of you in the box, when the shot goes,

you fucking follow it in.

Yeah, you smell that, lads?

That's the Roy Kent effect.

-Roy Kent! Roy Kent! -Roy Kent!

Anything for me, coach?

All right, let's go again.

Hey, Roy. You know you're paid to coach the whole team, right?

No, no, that's fine. Just take 4% off my paycheck.

Ted!

-Ted! -You hear that?

Hey!

Do you have lunch plans?

As a matter of fact, I do, yeah.

Coach Beard and I here are doing Secret Sandwich Switcheroo

every other Friday.

-What we do is I make a sandwich-- -I don't care, Ted.

You're coming to lunch with me and my mother.

Okay. Sounds great.

Spoiler alert. I made you a BLT.

-Samesies. -What?

Crown & Anchor at 2:00.

Okay.

I look forward to lunching with you, Ted.

Hi, Rebecca's mom.

Hey, fellas. Say hi.

Hi, Rebecca's mum.

Hello, boys.

And the name's not Rebecca's mum, it's Deborah.

I'm a work in progress,

a voracious book on tape listener

and a staunch believer that if you get dealt lemons in life,

then you should make lemon lavender mojitos.

Mum!

Nice to meet you, Deborah.

Boy, I love meeting people's moms.

It's like reading an instruction manual as to why they're nuts.

Let's go!

How's Mrs. Beard doing, by the way?

-Full-blown QAnon. -Yep.

-Hey, look alive, Coach. -Thank you.

-No horseradish? -I thought you were allergic?

To horses and radishes.

I'm sorry.

-Hi, guys. -Hey.

Ted. Do you reckon you'd be up for driving us back from lunch?

Sure, I'll give it a shot.