Codename: Kids Next Door

MATH CLASSES 70% MORE BORING FOR

KIDS.

- OKAY.

NEXT UP... I SAY NEXT UP IS

UH...

SENATOR SAFELY.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME!

AH!

YOU'VE BEEN DELIBERATELY

IGNORING THE VERY IMPORTANT, NEW

CHILD SAFETY LAWS I'VE BEEN

TRYING TO PASS,

MR. SENATE LEADER, SIR.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR LAWS ARE

BORING, SAFELY!

IT'S ALWAYS, "OH, LET'S MAKE

TACOS SAFER FOR KIDS!"

AND "OH, NO, KIDS MIGHT SWALLOW

THOSE FISHING RODS!"

PRECISELY!

VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING KIDS TOUCH

TODAY IS A VIRTUALLY VIRTUAL

DEATH TRAP!

SO, I'VE PREPARED A REPORT ON

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT, WHICH I

WILL NOW READ ALL 60,000 PAGES

OF TO YOU.

OH! OWEE, OWEE, OWEE, OWEE!

PAPER CUT!

AW, CUT IT OUT, SAFELY.

WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE SOME FUN

LAWS THAT MAKE LIFE MISERABLE

FOR KIDS, NOT LAWS THAT PROTECT - THEM.

>> BUT... BUT... BUT WHAT ABOUT - MY REPORT?

LOOK.

HOW'S ABOUT WE GIVE YOU, UH,

"ELEVENTY" BILLION DOLLARS TO

"RESEARCH" THE PROBLEM, ALL

RIGHT?

SO, GET TO RESEARCHING!

ALL RIGHT.

NOW WHO WANTS TO DRAFT A BILL

OUTLAWING STUPID CARTOONS THAT

MAKE FUN OF ADULTS?

OH, ME!

ME!

ME!

OH, BUNCH OF JERKS!

WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH

"ELEVENTY" BILLION DOLLARS?

"ELEVENTY" BILLION DOLLARS?

"ELEVENTY BILL... OW!

Captions by VITAC ...

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY

CARTOON NETWORK

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY

CARTOON NETWORK

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY

CARTOON NETWORK

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY

CARTOON NETWORK

OH, MAN, I'M LATE, I'M LATE,

I'M...

CRUD!

OW, OW!

OW, OW, OW!

OW, OW, OW!

OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!

15 INCHES!

AND ANTHONY DAVIS HAS CRACKED

15 INCHES OF PAVEMENT ON THAT

ONE, CHIP.

YOU BETCHA, NICK.

HIS BUTT'S GONNA BE REALLY SORE

AFTER BUSTING UP THAT MUCH

ASPHALT.

INDEED.

HE IS A TRUE COMPETITOR WHO

DESERVES TO BE HERE AT THIS

YEAR'S "BUTT BUSTING" PLAYGROUND

TOURNAMENT FINALS.

AND SPEAKING OF COMPETITORS,

HERE COMES ZIGGY JANE.

WOW, NICK!

TALK ABOUT GLUTEUS MAXIMUS.

THERE YOU ARE, NUMBUH 4.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

YOU'RE UP NEXT.

HOLD ON!

I WANT TO SEE THIS GUY.

LET'S HURT SOME HEINIE!

OH, AND IT'S A GREAT LAUNCH

FOR ZIGGY JANE.

HE'S DOWN THE SLIDE AND OVER TO

THE MERRY-GO-ROUND.

BACK TO THE SLIDE AND STRAIGHT

UP INTO A TRIPLE BUTT-SIDE

LAID-BACK BURIAL.

AND...

OW, OW!

OW, OW, OW! OW, OW!

EIGHT INCHES!

OH.

OH, TOUGH BREAK.

ZIGGY'S GOT GREAT STYLE, NICK,

BUT STYLE JUST DOESN'T CRACK THE

CONCRETE LIKE IT USED TO.

AND SPEAKING OF CONCRETE,

CHIP, NEXT UP IS 5-TIME

BUTT-BUSTING CHAMPION,

WALLABEE BEETLES.

IT'S ALL YOU, CHAMP.

JUST FOLLOW THE PATH YOU'VE BEEN

PRACTICING.

RIGHT.

SWING SET TO SEESAW, UP THE

SLIDE, OVER THE ROCKING HIPPO,

AND STRAIGHT UP!

IT'S IN THE BAG.

JOEY, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO

STAY HOME WITH MOM!

OKAY, FINE.

YOU CAN WATCH, BUT JUST KEEP OUT

OF THE WAY.

AND WALLABEE BEETLES

APPROACHES THE SWING IN AN

ATTEMPT TO CONTINUE HIS DYNASTY

OF DERRIERE DESTRUCTIVENESS.

LET'S BREAK SOME BOOTY!

WALLABEE GETS READY FOR HIS

LAUNCH, AND... HOLD IT!

THERE SEEMS TO BE AN

INTERRUPTION ON THE FIELD.

LOOK AT THE CUTE, LITTLE

BABY!

HE'S A CUTE BABY.

YOU'RE A CUTE BABY!

AW, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE WHEN

BABIES RUN AROUND "NAKIES,"

NICK?

JOEY!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO...

WHOA-OA-OA!

AAAHHHH!

WHOA!

WHAAA!

WHAA! AAAHH!

AH-HA-HA-HA!

.02 "MAGNOMAMETERS."

OH, THAT HAS TO NOT HURT.

I HEARD THE SAFETY SIGNAL.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

SAFETY SCANS SHOW PLAYGROUND

ACTIVITY RESULTING IN SERIOUS

DAMAGE TO CHILD BUTTOCKS.

RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE ACTION.

YOU'RE DARN SKIPPY WE'RE

TAKING ACTION!

AFTER YEARS OF PREPARATION AND

THE OODLES OF GOVERNMENT MONEY I

SPENT, MY SAFETY PROGRAM IS

FINALLY COMPLETE!

AND WHAT BETTER PLACE TO TEST IT

THAN AN ASPHALT- AND MEDAL-LADEN

PLAYGROUND?!

AFFIRMATIVE.

SAFETY SHALL BE ESTABLISHED.

PARENT-DISAPPROVED SPORTS, I

HAVE NEVER WITNESSED AN UPSET

LIKE THIS.

WALLABEE BEETLES, THE SEEMINGLY

UNDEFEATABLE BUTT-BUSTING

CHAMPION, TAKEN DOWN BY A SISSY

LITTLE GIRL.

HI!

OH!

THE ONLY REASON SHE WON IS

BECAUSE OF MY STUPID BROTHER,

DANCING AROUND LIKE A DOOFUS!

I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM!

All: GO, BABY!

GO, BABY!

GO, BABY!

SEE WHAT I MEAN?!

GO!

JUST GO HOME ALREADY!

COME ON, NICK, LET'S DITCH

THIS LOSER AND GO WATCH THE BABY

DANCE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, CHAMP.

THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR.

OHH!

TOURNAMENT OR NO TOURNAMENT,

I'LL SHOW THESE PEOPLE HOW TO

CRACK SOME PAVEMENT.

AH-AH-AHH!

OH, GOOD ONE, NUMBUH 4, BUT I

CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T CRACK

ANYTHING WITH THAT.