Friends

What am I sitting on?

Top of the world?

Dock of the bay?

I'm out.

- Oh, ew, undies! Oh. Oh!

All right, whose are they?

- Whose are they? Not mine.

Joey's. Got to be Joey's.

They're mine.

See, Joey's. They're Joe-Joe-Joey's.

Why are they here?

I don't know, uh...

I'm Joey.

I'm disgusting.

I take my underwear off in other people's homes.

Get them out of here. What's wrong with you?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Take them! - I got them.

You can touch them. They're yours.

Chandler? A word?

Yeah.

I'm tired of covering for you two. This has got to stop. Aah.

Tighty-whiteys? What are you, 8?

Thank you, Joey, so much.

You're not welcome, okay?

Look, I hate this. You guys keep embarrassing me.

Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom.

I said it was mine, and that I was playing a woman in a play.

Then one thing led to another and...

And around the ankles, that is a tough spot.

It was. All right, listen...

All this lying has been hard on us too.

Yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier.

Yeah, actually.

We'll be more careful.

We don't want them to know, because it's going really well.

And maybe it's going well because it's a secret.

It sounds weird, but we're so bad at relationships.

- We are. Help us. - Help.

All right. But you do it with me once.

Joey!

Didn't think so.

Hey, Phoebe. Hey, Pheebs.

What are you reading?

Um, Wuthering Heights.

I have to finish it by tomorrow for my literature class.

You're taking a class? That's so cool.

I really liked that Lamaze class I took.

I thought this time I'd go for something more intellectual...

...with a less painful final exam.

That sounds like fun.

Oh, you should come with me!

Then I'll have someone to sit with.

Okay.

Yay! Okay. Ooh, but, do you have time to read it?

I read it in school.

This is going to be so much fun! Shh. I have to finish.

Hi.

What's wrong, buddy?

Someone at work ate my sandwich.

What did the police say?

My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich.

I can't believe someone ate it.

It's just a sandwich.

Just a sandwich?

I am 30 years old, okay?

I'll be divorced twice and I got evicted.

That sandwich was the only good thing in my life!

Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!

I have enough for one more sandwich.

I was going to eat it myself, but...

Mon, that would be incredible. Thank you so much.

I still can't believe someone ate it!

Look, I left a note and everything.

"Knock-knock." "Who's there?"

"Ross Geller's lunch."

"Ross Geller's lunch, who?"

"Ross Geller's lunch. Please don't take me. Okay?"

I'm surprised you didn't wear it home. Ha-ha-ha.

Want to keep your food? Scare people off.

I learned that on the street.

Really?

What would you say, Pheebs?

Stuff like, uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub."

Do you picture Phoebe on the street with the entire cast of Annie?

This'll keep them away from your stuff.

Whoa!

Phoebe, you are a badass!

Someday I'll tell you how I stabbed the cop.

- Phoebe. - He stabbed me first!

The Brontë sisters were remarkable women for their time.

They lived in a patriarchal society.

Sorry I'm late, but I left late.

- Ahem. - Okay.

So, what is the book about?

Didn't you read it in high school?

I started it, but then there was this pep rally.

And I was on top of the pyramid.

But anyway, um...

...what's the book about?

It's a tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff.

It takes place on these creepy moors in England.

Which I think represent the wildness of Heathcliff's character.

I totally get symbolism.

How would you characterize the theme of this book?

Uh, let's see... Rachel Green?

Ahem, um...

I would have to say that it's a tragic love story.

That's sort of a given...

...but, yes. Anyone else?

Oh, oh, oh. Symbolism!

And the wildness of the moors...

...which I think, is mirrored...

...in the wildness of, uh, Heathcliff's character.

Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here...

You completely stole my answer!

Honey, that was pretty obvious.

How would you know? You didn't read it!

What do you think? Uh, you in the blue shirt?

I think that, um, yours is a question with many possible answers.

Would you care to venture one?

Are you just repeating me?

All right. Let's move on.

Okay, then.

Why didn't you say you hadn't read the book?

I didn't want him to think I was stupid.

That was really embarrassing, what happened to you.

- Phoebe! Phoebe! - Yeah?

Your note?

Amazing!

Not only did no one touch my sandwich...

...but people at work are actually afraid of me.

A guy called me "Mental."

"Mental Geller."

I've always wanted a cool nickname like that.

The best you got in high school was, uh, "Wet Pants Geller."

It was the water fountain, okay?

Anyway...

...people are writing reports for me...

...uh, pushing back deadlines to fit my schedule.

I tell you, you get tough with people...

...and you can get anything you want.

Hey, Tribbiani! Give me that coffee! Now!

This was really fun.

I've been wondering if you'd ask me out.

So you, uh, still wondering?

No. We just went out.

You're smart.

I like that.

Oh.

Oh, candles!

What is that, a blanket?

A video camera? Oh, my God!

No, no, no. Wait.

I can't believe you thought you'd tape us having sex on the first date!

Hi.

Joey, is what she just said, um...

Oh, my God!

You're actually going...

What is going on here?

And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, sick?

I'm Joey.

I mean, I'm disgusting.

I make low-budget adult films.

Huh.

You promised to be more careful!

The good Joey name's been dragged through the mud!

We're so sorry.

I'm telling everyone.

It's the only explanation that doesn't make me look like a pig!

No, there's a better explanation.

Tell them you had to make an adult film for your...

...adult film class.

I like that. But no!

How does that explain my underwear at your place?

I don't know.

Get ready to come out of the non-gay closet.

I promise to come up with something. Just give us time.

All right.

But it better make me look really good.

And another thing:

The video camera?

Nice!

Ross?