The Canterville Ghost

- -

Oh, is it bedtime already?

Well, come along Mr. Tibbs.

- -

Don't be scared, Mr. Tibbs.

Silly old thunderstorm.

Oh!

Probably a mouse, a large mouse.

A badger, perhaps.

Must have left the back door open.

Oh, what?

Lord Monroe,

how about a bedtime nursery rhyme?

This little piggy went to market.

This little piggy stayed at home.

This little piggy went...

Yes, that's it.

- Squeal all the way home! - Oh, no, no, no!

I'm coming for you my little piggy!

Oh, my coccyx!

Come on, Monroe!

Light on your feet.

Makes like pistons.

Almost there. Mr. Tibbs.

Mr. Tibbs?

No!

Mr. Tibbs!

I'm coming old friend!

I'll not leave a bear behind!

Mr. Tibbs?

Oh, Mr. Tibbs, what's gotten into you?

- Leave this house. - Oh my word!

Unhand my teddy you fiend!

- You can't run from me! - Almost there!

Oh my word!

Here I come!

This handle is defective!

Behind you!

Daddy will protect you, Mr. Tibbs!

The window!

Remember your years in the gymnasium!

- -

- -

I love you, be a good bear!

- -

- -

Are we there yet?

No.

Are we there yet?

No.

When do we get to England?

We are in England dodo.

Do they have bathrooms in England?

Yes, boys.

- 'Cause I gotta go! - We are here!

Yay, England!

Hello governor, tea time.

Oh Hiram, look at these

darling gates, they're so wonderfully gothic.

Canter-bile?

No, Kent, Canter-ville.

It is a real humdinger,

and at a bargain price, too.

And all because people say it's haunted.

Oo, creepy forest!

There's no need to be scared

of this so-called ghost, Virginia.

Fear of the unknown and unexplained is merely ignorance.

I'm not scared.

Just think, our very own English manor house.

I bet you could fit 50 ghosts in there.

Boys, did you not hear what I just said?

Not really.

We usually just listen to mom.

I bet I see the ghost first, Louis.

Unless your ugly face scares him away first, Kent.

Wow, this place is old.

Super old! Older than Dad!

- -

Hideous!

She's got donuts on her head.

Boys!

Mrs. Umney, I presume?

Hiram Otis, at your service.

Welcome to Canterville Chase.

This way.

Oh, my.

Where's the ghost?

- I wanna be haunted first. - Oh!

No fair, I wanna be haunted first.

- Have you seen the ghost? - Are you the ghost?

Or maybe a zombie?

Do you want to eat my eyeballs?

You can eat his brains.

He doesn't use them.

What charming children.

Let's go this way.

- Hey, look, a torch! - Oh, Hiram!

Oh, man, this fireplace is so big,

I can crawl inside it!

Fight me, Kent!

It's okay, I think we own that painting now.

Is a stained glass window more expensive

than a regular window?

Oh, Hiram, it's just so perfect.

So grand!

- Hm, a little gloomy. - Got you!

But I have something that will fix that!

Electricity, Mrs. Umney.

Power of the future.

Oh, I wouldn't know about that, Sir.

- -

Of course you wouldn't.

You're just a little old English lady.

Ow, hit me again, Kent!

What's French for in your face?

Yes, indeed.

This room will make the perfect setting

for our grand banquet.

The house will be filled with members of The Royal Society,

heads of industry, possibly even a duke or two.

The perfect way to put American electricals on the map.

The Royal Society?

Dukes?

Oh, Hiram.

I sent the invitations back in Boston.

Lead on Mrs. Umney.

Hiram?

- Child. -

Golden child.

This way.

Virginia, keep up.

I'm coming!

- -

And this is the library.

What a splendid collection, huh pumpkin?

We had books back home, Pa.

I know it's hard leaving everything behind,

but you'll make new friends.

This is going to be a great adventure.

Come on now, no tears.

I'm not crying.

What happened to the previous owner?

He's in the asylum now.

Poor Lord Monroe.

All he does is scream and scream day and night.

[Mrs. Umney imitates Monroe screaming]

He goes.

You see, for the past 300 years,

each and every owner of this house has been forced to flee,

driven mad by the ghost of Sir Simon de Canterville.

Cards wallops and crazy talk. Ha!

I assure you, we Otis's are made of sterner stuff

and no ghost, real or otherwise is ever gonna scare us.

Jehoshaphat!

Whoa!

Virginia's scared of the ghost!

She probably peed in her pants!

- - Ow!

- The books are haunted. - Nice shot.

I hope that wasn't the first edition.

Now, come on.

There's work to be done.

This is our new home!

- -

Boys!

- It was Kent! - It was Louis!

It was the ghost!

Well, isn't this a darling room?

I hate it.

Oh.