Psych

Special girl, huh?

Yeah, kind of.

It's nice to see you applying yourself.

It looks like you put a lot of work into that.

Thanks, dad, but I don't know if I'm gonna send it.

Why?

Why, Shawn?

- There are obstacles. - Obstacles?

All couples have obstacles. The key to it is,

you're never gonna know unless you put yourself out there.

- Gus says it'll never work. - What does Gus know? Gus is 12.

You remember at that skate party

how he cried when that girl touched his arm?

Come on.

- What do you think? - Let's see.

The heart is good. You tell her that she's pretty,

but not in an creepy, aggressive kind of way. I like that.

Down here, I think what you wanna do is, I think you wanna...

tell her that you'd like to call her sometime.

Do that.

It looks like you forgot to address it there.

You want to write her name big and pretty,

make her think she's important. You know how sometimes I write

and I do the calligraphy with big loops and swooping letters?

Do that, do that up there.

Dad,

could you do it?

Yeah, sure, I guess.

All right, what's her name?

Mrs. Phillips.

What's wrong?

I hate having to hide what we have. You know, we can't really...

be together until you tell her.

I will.

Soon.

Mina?

You're back on in two minutes.

- I'll go. - No.

I don't want to disturb your ritual.

It's bad luck.

This is my "I told you so" room,

where I like to gloat after a completely wild accusation

turns out to be spot on. That's my "oops" corner,

where I apologize to people for being arrested

after a completely wild accusation turns out to be just that.

Over there is where you get gum.

- Free, by the way. - What?

- This is... - I know you.

I met you at our high-school reunion.

Yes, you did.

- Shawn tells me you're a teacher. - Yeah, kindergarten.

That's great. I think that's great.

I mean, kids... they're so great. That must be really fun.

You know, I loved my kindergarten teacher.

Before I went into law enforcement, I actually considered teach...

This is detective Carlton Lassiter.

I do his job and sometimes his hair,

though clearly not today.

I'm really sorry. I can't play with you today.

I'm about to go solve another case and do it in record time.

It is at this point that I must decide which part of that very bold statement

to riff off of. Now, I can hone in on "another", which implies

- that he's solved more than one. - That's pretty easy, though.

Or I crack down on "record time"

and the positive, for him, record time is, like, 2 and half years.

- Good, not great. - You drive a hard bargain.

- You love it. - I know. Why don't you go home

and wait for me

not to call you?

He's just saying that so that it'll be more dramatic later on

- when he has to ask for my help. - More dramatic for who?

I don't know.

That guy, I guess.

All right,

so what exactly is this information

about the accident behind the theater earlier?

This was no accident.

Really?

Well, that's helpful.

And you...

You know the victim?

Victims, plural.

Mina wasn't the only one.

Fortunately, she is the only one who didn't get hurt.

Sir, you are exactly what I needed today.

We're gonna have to do this quick while his girlfriend is still waiting.

Whose girlfriend?

Never you mind. I'm thinking out loud. Don't want to interrupt your flow.

I like what you're saying,

so let's just go straight to the million-dollar question:

who exactly is responsible?

I am.

I hurt them all. I'm a danger to everyone around me.

All right, Mr. Singh,

this is how it's gonna work.

See, sometimes there are these bleeding-heart activist judges

who won't take a detective's iron-clad word for it when he gets

a perfectly uncoerced confession.

So just so we're clear,

I'd like you to write everything down.

When you did it, where you did it, why you did it.

Now, the why is very important.

- You're done? - Yes.

You just wrote, like, three words.

Would you excuse me?

I'll just be a minute.

This place was actually built by the Amish,

which explains the complete and utter lack of zippers.

I was too harsh.

- When? - Just now.

Perhaps always.

The truth is, the guy in the interrogation room "A"

is a solid lead, and I just don't have the...

- You know, to follow through. - What exactly are you trying to say?

I'm saying I need your help.

All right, but only if Abigail can watch.

I'll put a chair in the viewing room.

Perfect.

Thanks, buddy.

This should be interesting.

First, I want to tell you that...

I love you.

Secondly...

What can I do for you...?

Raj.

- Can I call you Roger? - First name's Rajesh.

I'll stick with Roger.

I'm going to tell you what I do.

I don't want you to freak out because it's so cool.

I'm a psychic,

a great and powerful psychic

whose powers inspire fear and awe in those who first experience them.

I am a crime-solving machine,

and I have closed over 50 cases,

many without pants.

Finally, someone who will understand me.

You can talk to me. I am your friend.

I hurt people, lots of people,

lots of innocent people.

It's funny, 'cause you don't... really strike me as a violent guy.

How could you commit these crimes?

I can't help it. The attacks, they just happen.

I see.

And...

what, you use...

some sort of weapon?

I am the weapon.

Really?

And it's immediate. Even I can't predict it.

I can just be alone

in a room with somebody.

Got it.

In that case, Raj,

I think all that's left here,

question-wise, is...

"why?"

I mean, why, why, why do you hurt these people?

Why have I hurt these people?

You got to see this. Wait for it. Here it comes.

It's because I...

It's because I'm... It's because I'm cursed.

Yes, I win.

Finally!

Finally I put one over on him.

This is...

This is completely satisfying.

You're a psychic. You must believe me.

You must be able to help me.

Can you?

Yes, I can, Roger.

I will break your curse,

and I will solve this case, mostly...

Because the detective who was in here earlier...

cannot.

This is so good.

Psych 406 "Bollywood Homicide"

- Where are the bunnies? - What?

You said someone left a dozen bunnies, and you didn't know how to feed them.

I made that up. I just needed you here, man.

- This is about a case, isn't it? - What do you think?

I should have known, when you said they were falling asleep in your hand.

Look, I was humiliated by Lassiter, Carlton Lassiter.

A challenge has been issued, I need every tool we've got.

- Are you calling me a tool? - I'm calling you my partner.

My logic brain, my magic wish machine.

What have we got?

My name is Raj. I have a curse.

I don't do curses. You know that.

- Gus, come on. - That mummy almost sucked my eyes out.

- It wasn't a mummy. - Yes, it was.

It was a snobby guy and an effeminate dude in a wheelchair.

Apples and oranges.

This is a love curse.

This poor guy thinks there's some kind of hex

on all the girls he tries to hook up with.

We investigate, find some evidence, convince him he's not cursed

so that he can live a full and happy life with his lady love.

Man, this is a matter of the heart.

- He's paying us, right? - Yeah, cash.

The last four women that I've dated have all had terrible accidents.