Wizards: Tales of Arcadia

Meow.

- -

- -

Huh?

Sorry!

Blast it.

Hisirdoux!

- -What have we talked about?

"Magic isn't a permissible shortcut to hard work."

Carry on, and don't...

-But, Master-- -..."but, Master" me.

I'm just-- I know I'm capable of more than just pushing a broom.

Teach me to be a proper sorcerer!

If there is a universal truth in this world,

it is that struggle is the flame which forges one's soul into steel.

Magic cannot be a crutch.

Ha-ha!

To take the easy way out is to merely exist, Hisirdoux.

So, why am I learning spells if I'm not supposed to use them?

I wanna be a wizard like you!

With a staff and everything!

Staffs are for those with mastery over magic,

and magic is mastery over life.

So first, you must learn how to live.

Master that lesson, and I vow your days of pushing brooms will be over.

Blast it.

"Magic isn't a permissible shortcut to hard work."

-'Night, Doux! Thanks for cleaning up! -Of course!

Right, time for the real work.

-You ready? -

-Ha-ha! -

'Tis my cleanest capture yet!

Ha-ha!

Aren't you a nasty little beast?

I figured an umber imp was the reason for all those lost pets.

That is not an umber imp.

Do you notice the three mandibles?

How it's phasing in and out of existence?

That's a shadow mephit.

And you should know your monsterology if you're going to use me as bait.

Either way, let's take a sec to recognize that I've--

we've done some very good magic tonight.

-Douxie, old pal-- -No, no, no, revel in the victory.

We're unappreciated, Arch, silent sentinels

keeping the world safe from specters and demons and--

It's out of the trap, isn't it?

- -

Your capture technique is still weak,

and you could use a couple more centuries of practice.

I will not be lectured by someone who licks their own butt!

- It's hygienic! -No, no, not this one.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

Let's see you phase through this, you little git!

Got you-- This totally worked on that specterghast.

Back in Babylon. That was a fun night. Heads up!

No, it had five heads. Arch!

Whoa!

Fuzz buckets!

It's working!

I've-- I've almost...

worn him down!

Uh... I've-- I've got it! I've got it! I've...

Also, unlike umber imps, mephits are vulnerable to fire.

Saucy midge.

Your pet-munching days are over!

-Say "hi" to everyone in limbo for me. -

You're welcome, Arcadia!

Strange. A lone shadow mephit snacking on pets.

Where there's one, there's usually more.

Hisirdoux...

Merlin?

Merlin? Yes!

Finally, Arch! Our moment has arrived!

Hisirdoux.

Master Merlin.

Hisirdoux, my faithful apprentice, I need--

You're darn right I've been faithful! I've been mopping for a millennium!

Why didn't you send a raven or a text?

There's texting now, you know.

-I was busy, as you know. -Yeah?

Well, I've been quite busy, too,

protecting the material plane while you weren't around.

-Hisirdoux, I need you-- -About time.

I've been practicing my incantations and my spells--

Enough! Matters are most dire!

I need you to bring me the Guardians of Arcadia, with haste!

Oh, it's our moment, all right, as errand boys.

Man, the rest of this summer's gonna eat farts.

Yeah, it is kind of hard to top destroying an alien god.

Wingman did good. Proud.

But I lost my butt-stomping, ninja-space-angel girlfriend

and my creepslaying partner in the same afternoon.

Yeah, I felt like that after Jim and Claire and everybody left on their quest--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're talking about my problems here, buttsnack.

Cat! Yum.

Ooh, hey, little guy!

You lost?

Beware. You, you are in grave danger.

Whoa! A cat with glasses!

The cat just talked and you're focused on its eyewear?

I've seen aliens, creeps, and trolls, Domzalski.

So, yeah, I'd like to know why the talking cat's wearing glasses.

Bad eyesight.

Not cat. Familiar.

"Familiar"? No way.

I'd remember if I met a cat with glasses.

No. Wizard assistant.

"Assistant"? That's very offensive.

I am a wizard associate, thank you very much.

Now, come with me or the worst will come to pass.

Hey! Are you threatening me, pussycat?

No, I'm warning you.

Put simply, the world as you know it is about to end.

Meow.

Wha...

Aw, not again!

Sorry, this is a lot to process!

Pets can talk? The world is ending? Again?

Not the best timing, I know, but we need your help all the same.

Douxie? Wai-- Hold up!

I thought you worked at the cafe or were, like, a model or something.

There's a lot about me you don't know.

-Whoa! -What?

Come on, then.

The answers to all your questions are within.

Yeah, right. In a bookstore?

Ah! There's flying books.

Whoa!

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

So cool! So cool! So cool!

-Ooh, what's that? - Put that down!

Thank the ether you're here.

We haven't a moment to waste.

- -Whoa! Crusty, creepy dude!

Though, I had hoped for more, Hisirdoux.

I tried. I couldn't find the changelings or the aliens.

I'm pretty sure most left the planet.

Merlin, it's me-- Toby Domzalski!

You know, War Hammer, Guardian of Arcadia, Geology Club president.

No one could forget you, chatty.

And Steve Palchuk, Creepslayer!

-I have no idea who you are. -

But we're desperate. Thankfully, we have the brute.

-Yum! -I'm not anybody's lunch. Got it?

Wait, where's Jimbo and Claire?

I thought they were with you.

Answers forthcoming.

Make preparations. We've a journey ahead.

-And don't... -But, Master--

..."but, Master" me.

But... are you sure you want to count on these children?

-They're clearly not ready for this. - Excuse me, college dude,

these children fought off a 50-foot extraterrestrial!

Dude, let go of its head!

- It's got my head, too, man! -Just put it back!

-Master, I'm ready for this. -Doubtful.

-I've spent years preparing, centuries-- -Silence!

I mean, silence, all of you.

Can you not hear that?

Something wicked this way comes.

- -

Shadow mephits?

-Hisirdoux, did you lead them here? -No, no!

-I mean, I don't think so? -Yes, we did.

He found us. The barrier won't hold for long.

We must make egress! Tobias, take my things!

All of you, to the roof!

Hisirdoux, I said get to safety.

-I've got this. I can help. -Ugh.

Still trying to earn that staff, are you?

Yeah. I've learned a thing or two since we last met.

Use the Flux Rune Second.

-It's stronger. -All right! I knew that!

-Douxie! -Arch!

- I'm fine. No need to worry. -

Fire?

Yeah. Magic fire!

In a bookstore?

-But mephits are vulnerable to fire-- -Move it!

- -

Stand back!

Whoa!

Ship just got real!

- Everyone on! -

- -

- -

Boy...

Look out!

Awesome sauce!