Friends

Friends, family, we're gathered to celebrate here today...

...the joyous union of Ross and Emily.

Now Ross, repeat after me.

I, Ross.

I, Ross.

Take thee, Emily.

Take thee, Rachel.

Emily.

Heh. Emily.

Uh, shall I go on?

He said "Rachel," right?

Do you think I should go up there?

Yes. Yes. Do go on.

I think we'd better start again.

Ross, repeat after me.

I, Ross.

Take thee, Emily.

Ha, ha. Like there'd be anybody else.

As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health...

...till death parts us.

As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health...

...until death parts us.

Really, I do. Emily.

Do you have the rings?

Emily, place this ring on Ross' finger...

...as a symbol of your bond everlasting.

Ross, place this ring...

...on Emily's hand as a symbol...

...of the love that encircles you forever.

Happy to.

They have made their declarations...

...and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

This is worse than when he married the lesbian.

Just keep smiling.

Okay...

Well, that went well. Yeah.

It could've been worse. He could've shot her.

Ha, ha. That was pretty funny, wasn't it?

[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT SAMBA MUSIC]

You spoiled everything. It's like a nightmare.

All my friends and family are out there. How can I face them?

How could you do this to me?

Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily...

...we still get cake, right?

That's all right. No, no. You take your time, sweetie.

I'll be out here. Ha, ha.

She's just fixing her makeup.

I hate you.

And I love you.

Boy, a bad time to say the wrong name, huh, Ross?

That's true. Thanks, Dad.

People should be dancing, huh?

Hey, this is a party. Come on.

Joey. Dance.

Yes, Waltham Interiors.

Hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Phalange.

Who?

Yeah, I discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine.

Um, now, without it, uh, in the brain of Ross...

...uh, women's names are interchangeable.

Through no fault of his own.

Oh, my God. Phoebe.

No, not Phoebe. Dr. Phalange.

Oh, no. You have it too.

Hello?

- Hey. - Hey.

Wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way...

...but I know we had plans to meet up tonight and...

Ugh. I'm just kind of worried about what it might do to our friendship.

I know.

- Ugh. How could we have let this happen? - Seven times.

You know, look. We were away.

- In a foreign, romantic country. - Right.

I blame London.

Bad London.

So look, um...

...while we're still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it, right?

Well, I don't see that we have a choice.

But when we're back home, we don't do it.

Only here.

You know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs.

- I'll meet you there in two minutes. - Okay.

- Mon? Mon, I got to ask you something. - Now?

Ross said my name up there. I mean, come on.

I can't just pretend that didn't happen.

I don't know.

- Monica, what should I do? - Just do the right thing.

What?

Tow the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box.

Monica, wait, listen. I'm gonna talk to Ross about what he thinks it meant.

Wait. Rachel, no.

He's married.

Married.

If you don't realize that, I can't help you.

Okay. You're right.

You're right. You can't help me.

Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?

Yes.

Oh yeah? Well, who serves steak when there's no place to sit?

I mean, how are you supposed to eat this?

Hey, what's up?

Where were you? We were supposed to meet.

- Forget it. That's off. - Why?

The next tour of the wine cellar...

...will commence in two minutes.

Joey, what are you doing?

You promised Phoebe no meat till she has the babies.

Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count.

- That's true. - The man's got a point.

Oh, hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'm sorry things aren't working out so well.

Oh, no. Ha, ha. It could be better. It's gonna be okay, right?

Oh, yeah. Of course. I mean, she's gonna get over this, you know?

I mean, so you said my name.

You know, you just said it because you saw me there.

If you'd seen a circus freak, you would've said:

I take thee Circus Freak.

It didn't mean anything. It's just a mistake.

It didn't mean anything.

- Right? - No, no.

Of course it didn't mean anything.

I mean, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something...

...you know, because it was you.

But it absolutely didn't. It didn't! It didn't!

Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily.

Oh. Oh, the band's ready.

Well, we got to do what the band says.

I don't care about the stupid band!

You spit on me, man.

I'm sorry.

- Emily is taking kind of a long time, huh? - Heh.

When I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding...

...it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.

- Right. - Get the hell out of there. You know?

Emily.

I'm coming in.

Oh, look at that. Same thing.

In the middle of everything...

...if I scream the word "yippee," just ignore me.

- Huh! Oh, my God. Rachel. - Oh, hello, Rachel.

Ross said my name.

Okay? My name.

Ross said my name up there.

That obviously means that he still loves me.

Okay, don't believe me. I know I'm right.

All right. Do you guys want to go and get a drink?

Yes, we do.

But we have to change first.

Yes, I want to change.

- Why don't you go get a table? - We'll be down in five minutes.

- Fifteen minutes. - Ha, ha.

Hello.

Oh, Pheebs. It's Phoebe.

- Oh, hey, hey. - Oh, great.

Hi.

So, what happened?

Well, Ross said my name.

Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything.

Okay, Pheebs, let's look at this objectively.

All right, ninth grade, right?

The obsession starts.

All right? Summer after ninth grade...

...he sees me in a two-piece for the first time.

His obsession begins to grow, right?

Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room?

My clothes are... Oh.

- Wow, you look... - No time for that.

Okay.

Hey, dude. Let me in. I got a girl out here.

Well, I've got a girl in here.

No, you don't. I just saw you go in there with Monica.

Well, we're hanging out in here.

Which one of us is gonna be having sex in there? Me or you?

Well, I suppose I would have to say you.

- What if we're watching a movie in here? Which we are.

And we've already paid for it. It's My Giant.

My Giant? I love that movie.

You really think this is okay?

Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

Oh.

You know, I don't feel right about this.

Oh, Monica...

This is the honeymoon suite.